Friday, September 07, 2007

Miss's Mailbox


Dear Miss Begotten,
Is it true that...
"There ain't no cure, for the Summertime Blues?"
~G-man

Dear G the Man,
No, that's not true at all. If you mix a little yellow into the blue, you get green. Green in the summertime makes you feel really cool and really, really good. Not blue. Listening to Blues in the summertime, however, rocks. A good Blues festival or club, good drinks, and good company equals a great time for all concerned. Try it. You'll like it!

One for Miss Begotten:
How did Mary's garden grow?
~Sign me, Brown Thumb

Dear Charles of the Brown Thumb,
As far as I can ascertain, it grew because of some potent fertilizer, photosynthesis, and regular infusions of water. It helped greatly that Mary made secret sacrifices to the Weed People and was able to keep her husband and his lawnmower out of her garden. So, what are you planting?

Dear Miss Begotten,
Why is I before e, except after c one of those written in stone spelling rules?
~Maverick

Dear Maverick,
Because the spelling gods decreed that it should be so. You might as well confess (since it's allegedly so good for the soul) -- you're a poor speller, aren't you? Mmm-hmm, sounds to me like you're looking for loopholes. Forget about it!

Dear Miss Begotten,
How old are you, how tall are you, and how much do you weigh?
~Statistician

Dear Impertinent Person,
5'4". Hmph! It's clear to me that your mama didn't raise you very well. If she had, you'd have learned at her knee that these are not questions one asks of ladies they don't know very, very well. You can ask a lady who her people are, where they came from, her educational background, what she does for a living, and how she liked childbirth, but you cannot ask these numerical kinds of questions unless you're looking to get smacked.

Dear Miss Begotten,

(I wonder if I made it in on time for Miss Begotten...)

I want to know...if a man breaks up the relationship with you, why does he still read your blog?
~Pinks

Dear Pinks,
Since I'm running late today, yes, your question made it in on time. And what a corker of a question it is! The short answer is, I have no friggin' clue. We could speculate... Perhaps he's wondering if you're going to talk about him -- because, of course, it's all about him and his sick compulsion to feel as though he's a raison d'ĂȘtre. Or perhaps he's doing a happiness check, hoping like hell that the lady has the blues. According to the known laws of physics, his head should explode when he sees sparkly pink instead of indigo mojo. Have you seen any squishy gray fallout? He could be nosy, he could be jealous, or if there's any natural order at all left in the world, he could be feeling guilty. If it gets too annoying, you could send out a Pink Posse to bring back his mangy scalp. Did this help, Pink Princess? No, of course, it didn't. Just try to ignore him while I think up something else.



TWISTED LINGUISTICS

nasty queries and synopsis' - Um, the synopsis owned the query.

prehaps - Stuff that happens before it happens.

soem - Soporific poetry.

decribes - The cribes are coming! Help!

perpared - The convict was taken out for some air.






Your Sketchiness Factor



You are 29% Sketchy

26 comments:

Roxan said...

I'm 24% sketchy, which surprises me as I thought I'd be more. Lots more. LOL

Top cat said...

Your Sketchiness Factor

You are 41% Sketchy

I don't even want to know what he's holding in his hand in the picture.):

I love the line "you'd have learned at her knee"

tc

Kanrei said...

Dear Miss Begotten,
who are your people are?

where do they come from?

what is your educational background?

what do you do for a living?

how did you like childbirth?

what is the average airspeed velocity of an unlaiden swallow?

how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if it honestly gave a fu....well?

Kanrei said...

The test said I was too sketchy to try and figure out.

Pink said...

haven't seen any gray matter but then again...that presupposes....

might need that pink posse after all...

strange things come out of the blue sometimes.
xx
pinks

Charles said...

Ugh! Here I am enjoying reading, and suddenly you put that creature's picture at the bottom. What is wrong with you? Now I have to walk away long enough to get this revulsion out of my head.

Okay, I'm now relieved, reading a book for 5 minutes helps. In answer to the answerer's question (why am I doing that?), I currently have two potted avocado trees ~2 1/2 years old, and two cuttings of other plants, which are still in water. I was curious, just that. I have better sense than to grow an entire garden living in an apartment without direct sunlight.

Serena Joy said...

I'm not even sure what sketchy means within this context, Roxan; ergo, I have no idea what our scores mean. Are we iffy? Problematic? Don't really exist yet? Beats me.:)

What I hope he's holding, TC, is an electric razor which he's fixing to apply to that mess of chest hair.:-)

To answer your questions, Kan --
who are your people are? Strange. Who YOUR people are?

where do they come from? Pluto, we think.

what is your educational background? I always got A's in citizenship.

what do you do for a living? As little as I can get by with.

how did you like childbirth? Not that much.

Miss will endeavor to answer your other questions next week.:)
Did the test really tell you that? How ... singular!

Yeah, Pinks, and I'm guessing that's presupposing a little too much.:) Yes, it's been my experience that the strangest of things come out of the blue. You let me know when you need that posse to ride. We'll bring him back in as many pieces as your little heart desires.:-)

Yes, he is revolting, Charles, but he ain't mine. Blogthings inflicted that ungodly image on me. They should be ashamed, huh? Maybe I ought to send a posse after them, too. Avocado trees? Will they eventually grow big enough in pots to produce? I quit trying to grow anything in pots. I got tired of funeral duty for dried up brown carcasses.:)

Charles said...

I imagine the other lemmings think about Kanrei similar to how we're thinking of that photo, what with his being bald, wearing clothing, and having long green hair upon his pate. I'd think that very unappealing to other lemmings.

(Yes! Its Pick on Kan Day, didn't you check your calendar?)

Roxan said...

What's that they say about the kettle and the pot?
Nobody's allowed to pick on Kanrei, but me. It's a soul mate thing.

Charles said...

DruidRoxan,
Its officially designated as Pick on Kanrei Day.

If I had your email I could send you a calendar showing that. SJ and Kanrei have already been sent invitations to it.

Nowhere on it does it say you're the only one allowed to pick on him. I think its something to do with how he's a lemming and all. But who are we to try to outguess the bureaucrats? Maybe they're lemmings trying to avoid the cliffs themselves.

Charles said...

Your Sketchiness Factor
You are 24% Sketchy

Charles said...

The other 76% of me is done in watercolors.

ThatGreenyFlower said...

I'm 24% sketchy. Sounds like we're just not a very sketchy crew, SJ. That's probably why we all get along so well.

Loved the answers to your proper questions for ladies. Pluto, you think...tee hee! Me too. Maybe all of us redheads hail from Plutonian stock.

Charles said...

Is that Pluto the planet, the god, or the dog?

I'm just full of it today, pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.

Serena Joy said...

Pick on Kanrei Day? Poor Kan.:)

LOL, Greeny, my Plutonian sister. I wish I knew whether non-sketchy is a good thing or a bad thing.:)

Definitely the planet, Charles. Except -- isn't Pluto the one that got demoted to dwarf status? I hope I'm not going to start shrinking.:-)

Charles said...

Yep. That it was. Its going to take a while for people like me to think in those terms.

Roxan said...

Nobody asked my permission, so it won't be pick on Kanrei day until I say it is.

Serena Joy said...

Nobody asked me, either, and I OWN Kanrei.:-)

Lee said...

I hope all is well up your way, Serena...have a great weekend. I intend to do so!

Serena Joy said...

All's well here, Lee. You have a wonderful weekend.:)

Charles said...

You sure you made all the payments, SJ? :)

G-Man said...

Dear Miss Begotten..
Is there such a thing as 7th Heaven?

And do you find that women with red hair are more firey?

xoxbgxoxox

Serena Joy said...

I won him fair and square, Charles.:-)

G, my dear, surely there must be a 7th Heaven. Otherwise, I don't know why people would keep talking about it. 7 be one lucky number, huh?:-)
xoxbdxox

Camille Alexa said...

***Your Sketchiness Factor***

You are 41% Sketchy

I'm as sketchy as Top Cat. Does that mean I'm a pretty sketchy character?

P.S. I included my youthful follies.

Charles said...

Its those bills for housing and utilities and such that he racks up that I'm talking about. Have you been keeping up with those? Camille sounds like she's interested in full ownership, though I'm not clear on whether she wants to own him or be owned by him. Meanwhile, the show must go on.

7th Heaven is a show on the CW network.

TC isn't sketchy, he merely tests that way. He's one of the nicest/finest humans/felines around. If you're like TC, then you and those around you have nothing to worry about.

MONA said...

Really? it was the fertilizers?

...& I thought it was with jingle bells & cockel shells & pretty maids all in a row...