Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Serena in Zombieland


I'm tired. So tired. No, not like the old Kinks song,

I'm so tired,
Tired of waiting,
Tired of waiting for you...


Not that. I'm just ... tired. Maybe I don't feel quite like a zombie, but it's probably a little too close for comfort. I've been running like a machine all week, both at home and at work, and staying up too late, which makes it seem like I'm getting up too early. I don't like feeling so tired. I don't like that "dragging" feeling. I hate feeling drained. When I feel this tired, I'm prone to reading things into things that aren't there -- or subject to suddenly getting hit upside the head with certain truths so profound they set my hair on fire. Great balls of fire.

Tomorrow, I'm leaving town until Sunday. I'm heading east to the coast, going to visit my sister, and we'll just see if I'm a complete zombie by the time I get back. Empirical evidence tells me that it's a distinct possibility. She will do her ever-lovin' best to wear me out, mentally and physically. I'll let you know how well she does. Of course, her best shot at me will glance right off as soon as I get myself onto a beach and into the water. The ocean is a great restorative -- the great equalizer. Don't get me wrong -- I love my sister, but we've both said more than once that we fare better with some distance between us. I guess we're both willful and set in our ways. Oh, and this is the first time my dog will be staying in Sis's house, and Sis has a love-hate relationship with dogs; meaning, she likes them okay if they stay pretty much out of sight. I used to either board her or stay in a pet-friendly hotel. I don't board her any more, and Sis says it's "okay," so we'll see. God help us all if my dog gets nervous and pees on the floor. Or worse. Sis also doesn't like for dogs to smell like dogs. Hellooooo? They're ... dogs. I happen to love the scent of eau de dawg. But I am nothing if not cooperative -- and inventive. Did you know that if you wipe your dog down with a feminine hygiene towelette, said dog will smell perfectly presentable? Yes, siree, Bob. I am ready for Freddy, me and my dog that will smell like a ... whatever.

True story: Several years, my mom flew down to visit Sis for a week. Her second night there, she called me and I could tell right off that her voice sounded strange. It got even stranger when she asked if I could come and get her.

"Where are you?" I asked.

"In the garage."

"Whose garage?"

"Your sister's," she said.

"Why are you in the garage?" I inquired.

"So she won't hear me. I can't get a flight out of here until tomorrow afternoon. Can you drive down here and get me?"

"Mom, it's a 6-hour drive. I can't. You're supposed to be there all week. Why do you want to come home now?"

"Because she's driving me insane!"

And coming from my mother, that's saying something.


And now I turn you over to a safer, saner subject -- TWISTED LINGUISTICS.

probabaly - The possibility of the band playing Babalu, which the crowd is all for.

firey furnace - Place for burning doomed Christmas trees.

devestating - "I'm wearing the vest thingie."

just lept out - Something you're likely to encounter from drunken, unsteady gnomes.

artefacts - "This is the dish."


Oh, here's something to look forward to. Sheesh.






Your Anti Climactic Fortune


Deep into your future, I forsee: A modest weight gain


31 comments:

Charles said...

Hehehe, a modest weight gain.
Perhaps you're feeling the result of the changes brought about by Dean.
Your dog is going to smell like a feline?
devestating - I would have thought it the act of removing a vest while readying for the feeding of an infant. As in "She found devestating freeing and relieving for both her child and herself."

Serena Joy said...

Your dog is going to smell like a feline?

Um. Perhaps. LOL.

devestating - I would have thought it the act of removing a vest while readying for the feeding of an infant.

See? I told you I was tired. That's the perfect definition and it didn't even occur to me.:)

Kanrei said...

Your Anti Climactic Fortune

Deep into your future, I forsee: Caffeine withdrawal


Noooooo!!!! I can't live without my Diet Coke!!!!!

Have a great trip. Don't worry about your sis driving you insane; you are already here =P

PS- not a typo. I mean "here" and not "there" and glad you finally made it. I need the company.

Serena Joy said...

Not to worry, Kan -- it does say deep into the future. I read that as way long time away before you have to enter caffeine rehab and I get fat.

Yes, thank you, I'm rather enjoying living in the land of nuts and loons. It's fun! And it's a good thing you enjoy the company because it's close quarters and, after all, I do own you.:)

Variant E said...

Fortunately I am an only child. I can only drive myself crazy.

Kanrei said...

The first down payment then is on its way? Don't fret; I'm cheap.

MONA said...

Ewwwwwee! I know that feeling!!! The sister thing...

Serena it is telling me that deep into my future it sees 'high five'

What is high five Serena?

Serena Joy said...

Oh, shoot, VE, you don't know what you're missing.:-)

Serena Joy said...

Don't be late with that payment, Kan.:)

Mona, raise your right hand high in the air. I'll then smack it with mine. That's a high-five. Nothing BUT good.:)

Kanrei said...

No, no, no....you are supposed to pay me. You own me so my expenses are now yours. I got a morgage payment due so please send it fast =P. Your Lemming needs a roof over his head.

Serena Joy said...

No, no, no. We're doing this MY way. See, the way it works is, you pay me for the privilege of being owned by me and whatever money you have left over goes toward your mortgage and expenses. Simple! The key here is budgeting. Like, sitting in the dark and eating less will strengthen your character. And just think how free you'll feel with no car, no credit cards, no expenses for frivolous stuff like clothes and entertainment. Why, I'm doing you a FAVOR.:-)

Kanrei said...

Oh.....um.....so what is in this for me then? Do I get to move in when they forclose on my home? How much do I have to pay? Being owned appears to suck.

Serena Joy said...

Um, helpful hint here, Kan -- it's not such a good idea to say "suck" to your owner. I don't exactly know what your perks will be; I haven't read the manual yet. I'm sure it'll be a very good deal, though. I'll send you a contract and all you have to do is prick your finger enough to sign your name, and it's a done deal.:-)

Kanrei said...

Hey now....you not only included "suck," but "prick" in your post. Tisk tisk tisk.=P

Serena Joy said...

Oops, I did, didn't I? You can be my proofreading property.:-)

Charles said...

Your Anti Climactic Fortune
Deep into your future, I forsee: A creepy puppet

Wait a doggone minute, I had creepy sock puppets in my not so distant past... This so unfair.

Roxan said...

***Your Anti Climactic Fortune***


Deep into your future, I forsee: An itch you can scratch

I think this is a pretty good fortune. For one it means I can reach the itch to scratch it and it will be an itch I can scratch in public.

Pink said...

Good luck with your blister

(sister)

xx
pinks

G-Man said...

(Sherry..Shhhhh, I'm typing this from the garage, Anti Climactic?
I don't think so!!)
Very Nice post Serena, I'm sending you some Xanex!
Have a fun trip, DRIVE CAREFUL!!!
xoxoxbgxoxox

Serena Joy said...

Yowzer, Charles. I've seen some pretty cute sock puppets, but those big wooden ones scare the bejesus out of me.

Roxan, if you can reach the itch, you've earned the right to scratch it in public.:-)

That's a great way to put it, Pinks. Thanks! I will be stocking up on Band-Aids before I leave.:)

LOL, G. You'd better come out of that garage before it does get anti-climactic.:) Yes, please, for God's sake send me the Xanax. The more armor I have, the more fun I'll have. I'll be careful; I always am.:-)

Camille Alexa said...

***Your Anti Climactic Fortune***


Deep into your future, I forsee: Pants that make you look fat

____________________________

Uhm...that sounds suspiciously like my past and present.

Serena Joy said...

Um, Camille, I've seen a photo of you in pants in the present and you looked practically waif-skinny and adorable. I think you have nothing to worry about even WAY into the future.:)

ThatGreenyFlower said...

SJ, are you sure that's a dog you've got there and not a ...BEAVER?!? (falls of chair laughing)

I'm with you on the state of Camille's pants.

Have a good trip, blog-sister. Be safe!

ThatGreenyFlower said...

Erk. Falls OFF chair laughing.

Serena Joy said...

I'm LMAO, Greeny. You so funny. Thanks for the good vibes; I'm sure it'll be a good trip.:)

Hale McKay said...

Enjoy your trip to the coast to see your sister.

Artefacts - Laugh In Comedian Johnson's catch prases, such as "Verrrry Interesting."

Serena Joy said...

Thanks, Mike. Yeah, Artie Johnson -- I remember him.:)

snowelf said...

You know, I am not a dog person at all, but I never mind being around dogs of the people I love and usually fall in love with them, too. I am particularly in love with my mom and my best friends' dogs. It's almost like they are their kids and it negates their doggie traits.

I hope you are able to get some well deserved rest! At least it's only temporary.

--snow

Scary Monster said...

Me can completely understand the apprehension you are feelin. Everytime me meets either me brother or me sister me feels like me be walking on egg shells. Me tends to be somewhat competitive. Me reckons that you ought to try and have as much fun as you can and see iffin ya can't find something to do or talk about that won't set yer teeth on edge.

Stay Stompy.

December/Stacia said...

Well, good luck with the sis anyway... :-)

Kanrei said...

That's right! You are out of town. You stink! I need my Words Gone Wrong! I need my joke! I need my daily survey! ARGH!