Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Hot Air

99 freakin' degrees yesterday and more of the same in store all week long. This is unreal. I guess it could be worse -- I could be in Category 5 Dean's path -- but this heat is just miserable. If it weren't for AC, I'd be dead (and smelling to high heaven) by now -- never mind that I'll probably have to sell a kidney to pay the electric bill. I'm perfectly willing to sell my organs -- and yours, too -- to keep cool. Everything around here is ultra dry and parched looking, and not a drop of rain in sight. There's a blanket of haze overhanging the valley, so thick and heavy you can barely see the mountains in the distance. The next time the temperature might be below 90 is sometime next week, and God only knows when it will rain again.

There was a piece of spam in my mailbox this morning with the header, "Are you confident in bed?" Well, let me think about that. Yep, I think I am. I mean, I haven't fallen out of bed in years, or collapsed it, wet it, levitated it, had a run-in with Satan (or aliens) in it, or set it on fire. I think I'm doing okay without whatever it is they're selling. When somebody comes up with a sure-fire program to save me from myself, then we can do some business.

Speaking of hot air, I think we all agree that Dr. Phil can be mondo annoying. Much of the time, I'd just as soon choke him as look at him. Nevertheless, I found this "Dr. Phil Test" fairly interesting. You might, too.

(Dr. Phil, by the way, scored 55; he did this test on Oprah - she got a 38.)

Some folks pay a lot of money to find this stuff out! You're getting it for free.

Don't be overly sensitive. The test is quasi-accurate and it only takes 2 minutes.

Don't peek, but begin the test as you scroll down and answer.

Your answers should reflect who you are now ... not who you were in the past. Have a pen or pencil and paper ready. This is a real test given by the Human Relations Department at many of the major corporations today. It helps them get better insight concerning their employees and prospective employees. It's only 10 simple questions, so grab a pencil and paper, keeping track of your letter answers to each question. I took it and scored a 41.

Ready? Begin.

1. When do you feel your best?
a) in the morning
b) during the afternoon &and early evening
c) late at night

2. You usually walk...
a) fairly fast, with long steps
b) fairly fast, with little steps
c) less fast head up, looking the world in the face
d) less fast, head down
e) very slowly

3. When talking to people you...
a) stand with your arms folded
b) have your hands clasped
c) have one or both your hands on your hips
d) touch or push the person to whom you are talking
e) play with your ear, touch your chin, or smooth your hair!

4. When relaxing, you sit with...
a) your knees bent with your legs neatly side by side
b) your legs crossed
c) your legs stretched out or straight
d) one leg curled under you

5. When something really amuses you, you react with...
a) big appreciative laugh
b) a laugh, but not a loud one
c) a quiet chuckle
d) a sheepish smile

6. When you go to a party or social gathering you...
a) make a loud entrance so everyone notices you
b) make a quiet entrance, looking around for someone you know
c) make the quietest entrance, trying to stay unnoticed

7. You're working very hard, concentrating hard, and you're interrupted. You...
a) welcome the break
b) feel extremely irritated
c) vary between these two extremes

8. Which of the following colors do you like most?
a) Red or orange
b) black
c) yellow or light blue
d) green
e) dark blue or purple
f) white
g) brown or gray

9. When you are in bed at night, in those last few moments before going to sleep you are...
a) stretched out on your back
b) stretched out face down on your stomach
c) on your side, slightly curled
d) with your head on one arm
e) with your head under the covers

10. You often dream that you are...
a) falling
b) fighting or struggling
c) searching for something or somebody
d) flying or floating
e) you usuallyhave dreamless sleep
f) your dreams are always pleasant

1. (a) 2 (b) 4 (c) 6
2. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 7 (d) 2 (e) 1
3. (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 5 (d) 7 (e) 6
4. (a) 4 (b) 6 (c) 2 (d) 1
5. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 2
6. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 2
7. (a) 6 (b) 2 (c) 4
8. (a) 6 (b) 7 (c) 5 (d) 4 (e) 3 (f) 2 (g) 1
9. (a) 7 (b) 6 (c) 4 (d) 2 (e) 1
10. (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 6 (f) 1

Now add up the total number of points.

Over 60 Points: Others see you as someone they should "handle with care."
You're seen as vain, self-centered, and who is extremely dominant.
Others may admire you, wishing they could be more like you, but don't always trust you, hesitating to become too deeply involved with you.

51 to 60 Points: Others see you as an exciting, highly volatile, rather impulsive personality; a natural leader, who's quick to make decisions, though not always the right ones. They see you as bold and adventuresome, someone who will try anything once; someone who takes chances and enjoys an adventure. They enjoy being in your company because of the excitement you radiate.

41 to 50 Points: Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; someone who's constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who'll always cheer them up and help them out.

31 to 40 Points: Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful & practical.
They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest. Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but someone who's extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust In your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over if that trust is ever broken.

21 to 30 Points: Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It would really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment, expecting you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then, usually decide against it. They think this reaction is caused partly by your careful nature.

Under 21 Points: People think you are shy, nervous, and indecisive, someone who needs looking after, who always wants someone else to make the decisions & who doesn't want to get involved with anyone or anything! They see you as a worrier who always sees problems that don't exist. Some people think you're boring. Only those who know you well know that you aren't.


Travis Erwin said...

39 for me and as much as I hate to go along with anything ol' Phil has to say I think the description is pretty accurate.

By the way I live In amarillo. Tx which is the city that is to blame for Dr. Phil's rise. The Texas cattleman's association, based here sued Oprah for dispariging comments about beef, and the trail was here.

So the story goes, Oprah was tramatized and flew in Dr. Phil to help cope. She actually did her show from her for a month or so while the trial went on.

Serena Joy said...

I remember that TX Cattleman's beef against Oprah. So that's when she hooked up with Dr. Phil? Interesting.

Roxan said...

48. It makes me sound nicer than I really am. LOL

Serena Joy said...

Me, too. We just won't tell anybody.:)

Roxan said...

Good idea. They'll never know what hit them. LOL

Kanrei said...

46! I fooled it!

Serena Joy said...

LOL, Kan. You just don't give yourself enough credit.:)

leelee said...

42 for leelee..I think this was right on for me...but then all your quizzes pinpoint me...I guess I am too predictible.

Serena Joy said...

Yep, that does sound like you, Leelee.:)

Lee said...

I'm confident in bed, too, Serena...except sometimes I have to fight for my space in it....my two cats take up so much...they think it's their bed and I am the interloper! They've not yet kicked me out, nor have I fallen off it...I won't get too cocky though...one never knows what's around the corner (or mattress!)

Serena Joy said...

Well, I felt confident this morning, Lee, but that was then and this is now. Now I'm concerned that the dog will decide to teach me a lesson about cockiness and hog the whole mattress tonight. Pets. God love 'em.:)

ThatGreenyFlower said...

46! I fooled it, too! Kanrei, we are SLICK.

Serena Joy said...

You're not fooling anybody, Greeny. 46 IS you.:)

Anonymous said...

48 for me...ahhhh I feel better already.
Have a safe trip Serena.:)

Diesel said...

I think I took this once and I was around 50. I don't think that really gives me enough credit for being an egotistical jackass though.

Serena Joy said...

Thanks, TC. And 48 sounds like a very nice score for you.:)

LOL, Diesel. I like jackasses and donkeys well enough, but you don't seem much like one.:)

Camille Alexa said...

That was ridiculous! Most of those questions didn't have clear answers. I even had to ask S and he said the same thing. Frankly, #s 1, 3, 4, 7, and 8 could have been equally any single answer, depending on circumstance.

I did my best, but for the longest time my favourite colours have been (EQUALLY) orange and grey. If I pretended all the other questions had definitive answers (which they do not), I come up with 46 or 51, depending on whether I used grey or orange.

That was bogus.

Charles said...

1b 4
2a 6
3e 6
4d 1
5a 6
6c 2
7b 2
8e 3
9d 2
10c 3

When you can levitate that bed, that is when you will have real confidence in bed. I would anyway, because if I could do that with my mind, just imagine what else I could do.

Serena Joy said...

That was bogus.

Well -- it's Dr. Phil, hence the post title.

When you can levitate that bed, that is when you will have real confidence in bed.

If my bed started levitating, I'd be afraid of defrocked priests and hurling pea soup.

Hale McKay said...

Oprah either lied or cheated.

And Phil of Shit probably designed the test.

I scored a 44.

Serena Joy said...

Wouldn't surprise me. Nothing much does.:)

G-Man said...

36 Serena..
Hope it cools down for you soon, when it's hot for so long, something is bound to start itching!!
And please have a very safe trip..xoxbgxoxox

Serena Joy said...

Thanks. It is a little cooler. 36 looks pretty good. Loyalty is a good and valuable thing.

Charles said...

If I could levitate the bed, I wouldn't be afraid of anything, because I think everything would be afraid of me.

Serena Joy said...

That's probably true, but I'm still not going to try it. I'm too scared of forced exorcisms.:)

Charles said...

It wouldn't work on me, I'm not Catholic. 8D

Serena Joy said...

Me, either. I still wouldn't risk it.:-)

Sling said...

48...and Dr. Phil keeps stealing my blogs...bastard.

Serena Joy said...

I'd report him to Judge Judy.:)

snowelf said...

I'm perfectly willing to sell my organs -- and yours, too -- to keep cool.

omg... Too funny! And that confident in bed thing--hahahaha!!


I got a 50 and the pretty much sounds like me.