Friday, August 03, 2007

Miss's Mailbox

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Once again, your questions are quasi-answered. And remember, if there's anything you'd like to ask Miss Begotten, ask away and it shall be answered in due course. Maybe.

Dear Miss,
Would you at least consider Pug Wrangling?
- Pug

Dear Pug,
I would certainly consider it if the planets were aligned just so and the moon phase was right. There are a few rules of engagement which we'll have to discuss up front. Also, I am mindful that while both of us are going to get dirty, you're probably going to like it. Don't think I'm not wise to puppy-dog tricks, though. I'll be prepared. I do, after all, have a (stolen) Boy Scout merit badge for that.

Dear Miss Begotten,
Is forgiveness divine, or folly?
- Charles, Guilty of Much

Dear Charles the Guilty,
It depends entirely upon who did what to whom. Just how guilty are you? If you did a bad, bad thing, that would be folly. If somebody said it was okay, that would be forgiveness. And also folly.

Dear Miss Begotten,
I have 3 questions:

1) When will I find LOVE?
2) Who put the Bomp, in the Bomp sha Bomp ba Domp?"
3) And while you're answering that one ... Who put the Ram in the Rama Lama Ding Dong?
- G-Man

Dear Mr. G,
1) When the moon is in its seventh house and lined up beneath Venus just so.
2) Nostradamus.
3) The Dalai Lama, that time he was driving the Edsel that picked up only one radio station.

Dear Miss Begotten,
C'mon, where's the real dirt?
- Scary Monster

Dear S-Mon,
I could give you links but I'm afraid my eyeballs (and yours) would bleed.

Dear Miss Begotten,
What is it that makes you misbegotten?
- Just Askin'

Dear Askin' For It,
My folks never would tell me, so I don't know. And it's impolite to ask such things anyway. What, were you raised by wolverines?

Dear Miss Begotten,
Do you really have a tiara? Do you have a photo?
- Princess In Her Own Right

Our Dear Sister Princess,
Some things are much better left to the imagination. A girl's jewels are sacrosanct! But we thank you for asking. Don't do it again.

Today's (literally) hot TWISTED LINGUISTICS

traumitized - A really bad bar (or bat) mitzvah.

Partian BS - The BS spouted by a citizen of Paris on Mars.

His fahter - The spouse of his mudder.

contenious - Never-ending conflict.

I don not - I am not the godfather.

porcelin - Delicate, breakable pig.

toliet - Juliette's privy.

oppurtunity - A chance for a possum to take up opera.

offstes his weaknesses and comnpliments his strenghts - If this is not an ancient Mesopotamian curse, then I have no bloody idea.

You Should be a Ginger Redhead

Natural, fresh, and deep - you can definitely pull of this saturated color.


Roxan said...

***You Should Be a Cherry Redhead***

Sexy, dramatic, but still sweetly feminine. Perfect for getting out of the hair color doldrums!

Oh good lord. I don't think it would go with my eyebrows. I'd have to dye those too. LOL

Kanrei said...

You Should Be a Cherry Redhead

Sexy, dramatic, but still sweetly feminine. Perfect for getting out of the hair color doldrums!

I got the same as Roxan again...good to be back on my wave-length, but I am a bit bothered by the fact I can still be "sweetly feminine." Is there something about myself I should know that I don't yet this quiz does?

Roxan said...

Kanrei and I can be the redheaded step children.

Charles said...

Gee SJ, I ask a question on folly, and you give us a test on follicles. How apropos is that? I'll forgive you, though. :)

Serena Joy said...

I see a lot of redheads with dark brows, Roxan. You could probably pull it off and become a ... redheaded stepchild. LOL.

Is there something about myself I should know that I don't yet this quiz does?

I wouldn't worry about it, Kan. By the time these quizzes are through with us, we're ALL going to have gender confusion.

Your forgiving nature is much appreciated, Charles. So, how'd you come out on the redheaded follicles deal?:-)

Charles said...

My follicles only come out dark brown or white. No red in the family since my grandmom.

I have a new question. The name/word Goth; is it short for Gothic or is it Gosh with a lisp?

Roxan said...

I have too and they look weird, unnatural and silly. I have more class than that. Despite my fit throwing at the DMV just a bit ago. LOL

Serena Joy said...

Gosh, Charles, I'll have to give some thought to that question before answering it in the next mail call. I'm going to wear all black while pondering it.:)

Serena Joy said...

Rut-row, Roxan. What happened at the DMV?

Roxan said...

I took K's birth certificate and his ss card so he could test for his learners permit. I was told I had to have another form of id for him. The idiot asked me if I had a state id for him. Now how, if I've got to have a state id, am I suppose to get one in the first place? I felt like asking if my foreign accent was too thick. LOL

Serena Joy said...

Sheesh. I don't even know what a state ID would be. Isn't your license supposed to be your state ID?

Roxan said...

He's never had an id. He's only sixteen and just turned that. When I take him back I have his medical insurance card. Next you know they'll be wanting DNA.

Kanrei said...

State IDs are for people who don't drive. To get your first though you should only need birth certificate and SS card. I think you found a brand new catch-22. We needed a new one.

leelee said...

**You Should Be a Fiery Redhead
Bold, head turning, and sure to show off your skin and eyes.**

OK, I always thought that might be fun!!

Have a nice weekend SJ..STAY COOL

Camille Alexa said...

***You Should Be a Cherry Redhead***

Sexy, dramatic, but still sweetly feminine. Perfect for getting out of the hair color doldrums!

Again, I'm in the Roxan and Kanrei parade.

Serena Joy said...

Wishing you a good -- and cool -- weekend, too, Leelee. And honey, I think you'll make a fabulous fiery redhead.:)

The Roxan-Kan-Camille "cherry redhead" parade is going to rock.:)

Charles said...

I'm not that up on the redhead terminology, so help me get something straight. I've heard of Strawberry blonds, and now I'm hearing cherry redheads, so the difference would be what? Are cherry redheads more apt to have a stone in the middle, whereas Strawberry blonds are more seedy? :)

Charles said...

Okay, that makes 3 jokes today, I'm going to give up on you. Joke-wise that is. For today. Maybe. If you're lucky.

Serena Joy said...

Are cherry redheads more apt to have a stone in the middle, whereas Strawberry blonds are more seedy?

Charles, dear Charles, only male redheads have stones. And if you ever stumble across a cherry redhead, I'm pretty sure you'll know it. :-)

G-Man said...

Dear Miss Begotten,
My questions were nearly forgotten..
But you answered the bell,
And you answered them well..
Now....Are your panties made out of cotton?

(hahaha...I crack myself up!)

Anonymous said...

You Should Be a Strawberry Blonde Redhead

Sweet and simple, with a subtle fiery glow.

And a little bit seedy, too, apparently....

Serena Joy said...

My dear G,
No worries, no frowns,
Your questions Miss B did trounce,
Though stumpers they be,
No slacker is she,
But the fabric of her bloomers is out of bounds.:-)

Seeley, I don't know where they're getting "seedy" from. I think strawberry blonde is very pretty.:)

MONA said...

SJ, Gimme Red...That color haunts me no end...

Miss Begotten...who cares that I care...?

PS! the green floral dress offsets your fiery hair very well in the HNT...

G-Man said...

Tres Chaud!!!

Serena Joy said...

Thank you, Mona. Hey, I don't know about you going red. Your hair is so pretty just the way it is.:)

M. G, dĂ©faites! Pourquoi, oui, il est -- au-dessus toujours de 90. Ah, vous avez voulu dire… Vous ĂȘtes SI mauvais.:-)

puerileuwaite said...

Preparation IS everything. I learned that from the "Preparation-H" people. Although I don't plan on bringing any of that along, as it reduces swelling.

Serena Joy said...

Puggy, Preparation H is also good for reducing the swelling of, among other things, bags under the eyes. I agree, though, that one would want to retain some swelling for purposes of proper wrangling.:)

ThatGreenyFlower said...

I should be a cinnamon redhead. But the picture under the heading showed someone whose hair was nothing like the color of cinnamon! My hair, which actually IS the color of cinnamon, is proof that cinnamon is actually not a very "spicy" color.

SJ, you are so bloody creative. I don't know how you come up with your ideas. Your quips just dissolve me into hysterical giggles, too. I don't know how you can have such an active brain in weather like this...

xoxo -Cinnamon Girl

Serena Joy said...

Dear sweet Cinnamon Girl, I think your hair looks perfectly spicy. It looks absolutely wonderful in the reunion picture, girly. You don't need to do a thing to it!

My "creativity" is subject to debate. I think it may be more a case of heatstroke.:-)

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Whubat ubis ubit ubelsube? uba mubadnubess mubost dubiscrubeet,
ubA chubokubing guball, uband uba prubesubervubing swubeet.
Fubarubewubell, muby cuboz. [Guboing.
Buben. Suboft, ubI wubill gubo ubalubong;
ubAn ubif ubyoubu lubeave mube subo, ubyoubu dubo mube wrubong.
Rubom. Tubut! ubI hubave lubost mubysubelf; ubI ubam nubot huberube;
Thubis ubis nubot Rubomubeo, hube’s subome ubothuber whuberube.
Buben. Tubell mube ubin subadnubess, whubo ubis thubat ubyoubu lubovube.
Rubom. Whubat! shuball ubI gruboan uband tubell thubee?
Buben. Gruboan! whuby, nubo;
Bubut subadluby tubell mube whubo.
Rubom. Bubid uba subick muban ubin subadnubess mubake hubis wubill;
ubAh! wubord ubill uburg’d tubo ubone thubat ubis subo ubill.
ubIn subadnubess, cubousubin, ubI dubo lubove uba wubomuban.
Buben. ubI ubaim’d subo nubear whuben ubI subuppubos’d ubyoubu lubov’d.
Rubom. ubA rubight guboubod mubark-muban! ubAnd shube’s fubair ubI lubovube.
Buben. ubA rubight fubair mubark, fubair cuboz, ubis suboubonubest hubit.
Rubom. Wubell, ubin thubat hubit ubyoubu mubiss: shube’ll nubot bube hubit
Wubith Cubupubid’s ubarrubow; shube hubath Dubian’s wubit;
ubAnd, ubin strubong pruboubof ubof chubastubituby wubell ubarm’d,
Frubom lubovube’s wubeak chubildubish bubow shube lubives ubunhubarm’d.
Shube wubill nubot stubay thube subiege ubof lubovubing tuberms,
Nubor bubide thube ubencubountuber ubof ubassubailubing ubeyes,
Nubor ubope huber lubap tubo subaint-subedubucubing gubold:
ubO! shube ubis rubich ubin bubeaubutuby; ubonluby puboubor
Thubat, whuben shube dubies, wubith bubeaubutuby dubies huber stuborube.
Buben. Thuben shube hubath swuborn thubat shube wubill stubill lubive chubastube?
Rubom. Shube hubath, uband ubin thubat spubarubing mubakes hubuge wubastube;
Fubor bubeaubutuby, stubarv’d wubith huber subevuberubituby,
Cubuts bubeaubutuby uboff frubom uball pubostuberubituby.
Shube ubis tuboubo fubair, tuboubo wubisube, wubisubeluby tuboubo fubair,
Tubo muberubit blubiss buby mubakubing mube dubespubair:
Shube hubath fuborswuborn tubo lubovube, uband ubin thubat vubow
Dubo ubI lubive dubead thubat lubive tubo tubell ubit nubow.
Buben. Bube rubul’d buby mube; fuborgubet tubo thubink ubof huber.
Rubom. ubO! tubeach mube hubow ubI shubould fuborgubet tubo thubink.
Buben. Buby gubivubing lubibubertuby ubuntubo thubine ubeyubes:
ubExubamubine ubothuber bubeaubutubies.
Rubom. ’Tubis thube wubay
Tubo cuball hubers ubexqubuisubitube, ubin qubuestubion muborube.
Thubese hubappuby mubasks thubat kubiss fubair lubadubies’ brubows
Bubeing bluback pubut ubus ubin mubind thubey hubide thube fubair;
Hube, thubat ubis strubuckuben blubind cubannubot fuborgubet
Thube prubecubioubus trubeasubure ubof hubis ubeyubesubight lubost:
Shubow mube uba mubistrubess thubat ubis pubassubing fubair,
Whubat duboth huber bubeaubutuby subervube bubut ubas uba nubote
Whubere ubI mubay rubead whubo pubass’d thubat pubassubing fubair?
Fubarubewubell: thubou cubanst nubot tubeach mube tubo fuborgubet.
Buben. ubI’ll pubay thubat duboctrubinube, ubor ubelsube dubie ubin dubebt.

The Grunt said...

Ewe put the ram in the ramalama-ding-dong!

puerileuwaite said...

BTW, your quiz said I was a "Little Orphan Annie" redhead, and the picture showed my avatar with the wig on it. Did you put them up to it?

Scary Monster said...

Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Hoist upon Me own petard.

Good 'un, SJ.


Serena Joy said...

Baaaaah, Grunty. LOL.:)

Puggy. No! I never put wigs on my Pugs. What sacrilege!:)

That petard is good stuff, huh, Scary?:-)

Charles. What? I mean, huh?! I think I saw something about suborning perjury in there, but I've got to get a translator.:)

Charles said...

That's the output from a script I'm working on to convert Shakespear to Ubbi Dubbi like you were wanting to with Hale. I still still need to work out some bugs, but that's the first scene from Romeo and Juliet.

Serena Joy said...

Ohhhhhh! I had no clue. I'd like to read it aloud but, alas, I can't pronounce many of the words.:-)

Charles said...

That's alright SJ, I can't either even when its not Ubbi Dubbi.

Serena Joy said...

LOL, Charles. Wouldn't it be fun if we could get somebody to read it and record a podcast?:)

Hale McKay said...

Whoa! Charles, that was an awful lot of work rewriting that to Ubbi Dubbi. (It's a lot more work trying to read (translate) it without getting a migraine.

I was thinking of simple quotations.

I have created an Ubbi Dubbi Monster!