Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Greener Grass


We (meaning the human race) often want what we can't have.
We sometimes don't want what we do have.
We don't always appreciate what we have.
Every now and then, we want to give back what we have.
And then sometimes we get it just right -- we wanted it, we got it, and we ain't giving it back.

There have been things I just had to have. When I got them, they didn't make me a darn bit happier than I was before. Life would have gone on just fine without them. I think that such acquisitions are often little more than a raging case of "the grass is greener..."

But those are things. Things come, things go. Some things, we lament when they wear out. But life goes on. There's always some other thing to replace it.

Things are transient by nature and prone to obsolescence by design. The people who move through our lives, however, are a quite different matter. We have our friends, often people we've grown up with, gone to school with, met at our jobs, met in the neighborhood. We have our lovers, spouses, SOs -- who are also our friends, or should be. And in this age of Internet technology in which we live, most of us make an abundance of online friends -- people we may or may not ever meet face to face. All of these people who grace our lives are important to us, and we treat them with love and respect always. Or, we should. And yet, they do sometimes tend to be an ephemeral presence in our lives. They may flit in, and then flit right back out without explanation. It hurts us when people treat us like one of the objects they coveted and then, realizing the grass on their own side of the fence was just as green, replace us. I've had it happen a few times, what seemed like a strong friendship forged only to have the friend disappear with the insouciance of a firefly at dawn. Sometimes I'll be so busy it may take me several months to realize that, hey, I haven't heard from So-and-So in months. And I always wonder what happened.

I don't know why people do that. Do you? Or has such a thing even happened to you?

TWISTED LINGUISTICS will try to define some of these Words Gone Wild ... or, we may simply line them up out behind the courthouse and shoot them.

amerrica - A Utopian island in the Caribbean inhabited by dyslexics.

extenstion - As best we can figure, this has something to do with things that come from the number ten.

hay you - A country bumpkin.

depends on how well the writing is - In other words, he done good.

show up for them shows - Last-minute instructions to bouncers.

wha tit merant - This is so dirty that you shouldn't do it even after you're married.

I've think this - I've thunked it, too, but I were wrong.

My brouther - A fellow cult member.

I write potry - Famous last words of a pot.





You Are Italian Food


Comforting yet overwhelming.
People love you, but sometimes you're just too much.


41 comments:

Roxan said...

***You Are French Food***


Snobby yet ubiquitous.
People act like they understand you more than they actually do.

The funny thing is, you can even lose contact with those you have been extremely tight with.
As of late, I have been running into people I haven't seen for years.

MONA said...

Serena. It is not the things we want. It is a deep hunger in us which is the root cause of misery. It is not the actual objects, it is the desire.I have always felt that misery lies in the desire; the desire for more, whatever that might be is irrelevant.This happens with people who are really hollow from within.They need something to fill themselves up with.

"There have been things I just had to have. When I got them, they didn't make me a darn bit happier than I was before."
It wouldn't ever make you happier because the emphasis here is not on the thing but "just had to have", which is the desire.Desire within us is a neutral factor & cannot be quenched with achievement of objects or whatever we want.It is the desire itself that has to leave our beings. only then we can be fulfilled.

yes it has happened to me several times...about the people...in fact so many times that the hurt has made me realize that it is again the attachment that is creating misery.See the friends online are people whom we have never ever met in our lives, and yet we delude ourselves of knowing them of loving them.Sometimes we obsess over them too. I guess it must be the ego that obsesses and hurts.Otherwise the real situation is that we have never really known them. It is our Ego that make us cling.The clinging is the problem.People and situations are only excuses.They just happen to be there in front of us & we start building expectations around them.
We go round & round hoping the same dreams. Every time we get frustrated we don't see from the beginning the promise of our ego was false.
With ego, there is bound to be much pain.If we search for love with our ego, there is bound to be misery.Love can only come when you drop your ego.People will only come when you stop seeking.Welcome them when they come, enjoy them while they are there, & bear them no grudge if they disappear. That is how you rise above your attachment.

Variant E said...

I know what you mean. I spent almost the entire summer visiting exotic and interesting countries and got home to realize just how good it is here in the summer.

Kanrei said...

I have. Not on purpose, but I have. I moved around quite a bit. We are talking from age 18 to age 30 I was constantly moving from town to town just because. I would make friends in the new town then move on. I suck at keeping in touch so I would lose contact with everyone. I began calling them "the people I met along the way."
Friends...I am not honestly sure I have any in real life. There is one couple I have been friendly with for the last 6 years, but honestly cannot say if I would keep in touch if I moved. I am a bad person I suppose...

Charles said...

I find that simple is better. If I can put having something off, I will. I'm usually better off. Independent is better. If I can do it by myself, I usually will try. I'm usually better off. Friendly is better. If I can be friendly with others, I'll be as friendly as I can. I'm usually better off. True friends are best. I have a couple. I'm better off.

Serena Joy said...

I haven't run into any old friends lately, Roxan, but I have noticed a couple of pretty good buddies among the "missing."

Not to worry, Mona; I'm definitely not the obsessive type. I do hear what you're saying, though, and I like the way you expressed it.

From what I gather, VE, your home town is THE place to be in the summer. I'd have missed it, too. So, where are you off to next?

Things happen, Kan. There are former friends I've deliberately cut off contact with for one reason or another -- all valid reasons to my mind. I don't think it makes either of us bad people.

Simple, independent, and friendly sounds like an excellent life plan to me, Charles. I absolutely agree with you that the simpler we can keep it, the better off we are.

Kanrei said...

Oh my....Roxan and I got different results!

You Are Italian Food

Comforting yet overwhelming.
People love you, but sometimes you're just too much.

Serena Joy said...

You got my results instead of Roxan's today, Kan. The world may come to a screeching halt. LOL.

Kanrei said...

I GOT A REDHEAD'S RESULTS?! G-d HELP US ALL!!!!

Serena Joy said...

LOL! I think it means you belong to me now.:-)

Kanrei said...

Is that all? I'm fine with that. You will start getting my bills ASAP.

I need your address for the purposes of forwarding my expenses. Ownership is costly =P Besides, there are worse people I could be owned by.

Serena Joy said...

I've never owned a Kanrei before, so let me work up a list of Rules & Regulations to put in the owner's manual. Meanwhile, don't run up any more bills because I'll be putting you on a tight budget. I can't allow my property to live better than I do.:)

Kanrei said...

Kanreis are like cats- you may be the one who feeds and shelters us, but we are the ones who make the rules =P

Roxan said...

Actually, I cheated. The first time I got Italian. LOL

Charles said...

You Are Thai Food
Trendy yet complex.
People seek you out - though they're not sure why.

Funny, I wouldn't know why either.

Serena Joy said...

We shall see, Kan. We shall see.:-)

Roxan, shame on you.:)

Isn't Thai food pretty spicy, Charles? There's your answer.:)

Top cat said...

disappear with the insouciance of a firefly at dawn...poetic!
tc

Serena Joy said...

Thank you, TC. Hey, it's good to see you back!:)

Camille Alexa said...

It hurts us when people treat us like one of the objects they coveted and then, realizing the grass on their own side of the fence was just as green, replace us. [...]I don't know why people do that. Do you? Or has such a thing even happened to you?

I feel this has happened several times to me lately, and not over the course of months as you suggest, but days or weeks.

Pink said...

yep. its happened to me too. i used to wonder what happened. now...i reckon...well, its for the best...it hurts more when its a man and you realise he wasn't really a 'friend' but just wanted to get into your pants, after all.

good good friends are rare. i don't think they go. the not so good...they don't stand the test of time.
xx
pinks

Serena Joy said...

I'm so sorry you've gotten hurt recently, Camille. People do strange things, for the strangest of reasons. If I knew who did it, I'd kick their butts for upsetting our little blue bird. {{HUGS}}

Good, good friends are indeed rare, Pinks -- and more valuable than anything else I can think of. There are, damn it all, men out there who will do that, play with your emotions in hopes of getting into your pants. They are, thank God, fairly far and few between and, thankfully, set off a girl's radar before they can do too much damage. Their fellow men should kick their asses for it. I'm so sorry that's happened to you. {{HUGS}}

Charles said...

I know nothing of Thai food, I've never had it. Come to think of it, I know very little of myself...

Serena Joy said...

I don't know much about Thai food, either, Charles. Fortunately, I know a little bit more than that about myself. Sometimes.:)

leelee said...

I don't know why people do that. Do you? Or has such a thing even happened to you?

I think some people come into your life exactlly at the time you needed them and you may have not even been aware that they brought a certain thing to your life you were looking for...then they go away again...and we're left still wanting them to be there without realizing that their job is done and its time to move on without them..did that make any sense? I have definately had it happen to me. I was sad that they were gone and then..I realized that what they brought to my life I no longer needed..hmmmmm I am getting too personal..I'm going to stop talking now...lol

leelee said...

~You Are Chinese Food~

Exotic yet ordinary.
People think they've had enough of you, but they're back for more in an hour.


lol...

ThatGreenyFlower said...

I am Italian food, too. Cheesy, stains things, aftertaste.

Speaking only for myself, I lose touch with people simply because I don't have time not to and the list of priorities is such that person X is simply the one to go. I don't think of it in those cold, calculating terms, exactly, but that's how it plays out. My real life, my emotions, my heart...one of those things just doesn't have time/reserve/room anymore. Something has to go--and it won't be me, my job, my family. Who's next? Friends. Who goes when? Sometimes fate decides, sometimes the friend decides, and sometimes I deliberately let go.

Usually I feel guilty, but the truth is that there is simply not enough of me; and sometimes I bite off more than I can comfortably chew, too.

In the room the women come and go, Talking of Michaelangelo.

Serena Joy said...

That actually does make sense, Leelee. I hadn't thought of it from that perspective, but you're right. I guess it all comes down to "you get what you need, when you need it." While we may be sad that someone has deserted us, in the end there is a time for everything and ... it was time. Yeah. Chinese food, huh? I like it -- a lot -- but it's true that you want more in about an hour.:)

Time can be a cruel mistress, Greeny. I've willingly broken contact with people before for much the same reason. I hate to say it, but it's the needy, whiny ones who are so draining. Sometimes I tend to bite off more than I can chew and when that happens, you have to make choices. Something has to be sacrificed if the rest of one's life is going to work.

In the room the women come and go, Talking of Michaelangelo.

And indeed there will be time
To wonder, "Do I dare?" and, "Do I dare?"
Time to turn back and descend the stair.

Yes.

MONA said...

I am Italian Food too.

Yikes & I hate Italian food!!!Specially the pizza!

MONA said...

SERENA! What a wonderful new profile picture!!!

Serena Joy said...

Aw, thank you, Mona. That one's fresh, just today. Hey, I thought you liked pizza.:)

puerileuwaite said...

Well, let me assure you that I'll be here "always and forever", just like in that song by Heat Wave, the name of which escapes me at present.

Wait. Hold on a sec. A buddy just told me you can find free porn on the Internet. Hey, it's been nice. Have a good life. Pug, out.

G-Man said...

Loved your Firefly Metaphor!!!
I just say, like a fart in the wind...

I am Mexican Food..
I'm Spicy
People like me at first.
But then I turn into lots of Hot Air!!!

Great Post Serena, but I'm afraid your stuck with me a while!!!
5 years minimum!!!
xoxoxox

Serena Joy said...

I saw the free porn, Puggy. It ain't all that.:-)

Galen, I'm thinking that's more of a male oriented metaphor. I think that if I ate Mexican food, I might be tempted to use it, though. LOL. Only 5 years? Well!
xoxo

Hale McKay said...

Since I left WV so, so many years ago, with the exception of various jobs and of course my family, I really haven't made any real friends up here in New England. Forty one years and 750 miles later, myself and everyone of my friends from my youth have all gone their separate ways and lead their own lives.

Sad, I guess, but it seems my friends nowadays are ... fellow bloggers.

Hale McKay said...

Oh yeah, isn't it interesting that on your last poll that cola and iced tea beat out beer and mararitas?

Serena Joy said...

Sad, I guess, but it seems my friends nowadays are ... fellow bloggers.

I think it's probably that way for a lot of us, Mike. Not so sad, really -- bloggers are good people.

I did notice that about the last poll. I guess this isn't much of a drinking bunch. LOL.

Corn Dog said...

I like who I like and consequently what they do is usually okay with me, even if they have to wander off. I miss them but I will catch up with them later. I have been known to wander on occassion myself. I know it has upset my good friends. But I wanted to leave. I had my reasons at the time. They seemed like good ones.

I did burn a couple of so-called friends during my chemo treatments. Nothing like finding out who your true friends are when you get cancer. I cut a few from the herd during that time period. I didn't reinstate them either.

Serena Joy said...

Right on, Corn Dog. Sometimes you just have to cut them loose, and sometimes you have to cut yourself loose. You just "know." During chemo is a hell of a bad time to find out who your true friends are. Those you culled from the herd, I'm sure you did with good reason. If your friends don't stand by you, they're not your friends and you don't need the bother.

Corn Dog said...

I think I need to amend that last statement. Anyone that hassles you because you have cancer or while you are getting treatment for cancer, is not a friend. Dump them. I did just that and it was one of the few times in my life I was truly nasty about a relationship. I can't say I regret it either. Cancer happens to people regardless of what you have done or eaten or exercised. People hassling sick people is just wrong. I reared up and blew a gasket. And then there were the people that had been on the margin of my life that stepped forward and embraced and helped me. We have been cemented so much more strongly now. I will never forget their kindness and love in my time of need. They were the good friends that were lurking all the time.

Corn Dog said...

LOL, SJ. I forget how quick you are. By the time I regret my typing you are already there forgiving me. You are a good friend indeed.

Serena Joy said...

Absolutely, CD! If they're going to hassle you, judge you, analyze you, tell you you got sick because of something they think you did, you don't need 'em.

No need to regret your typing, sweetie. You're absolutely among friends.:)