Monday, August 06, 2007

Charles Rewrites Shakespeare

You may recall Mike's suggestion vis-à-vis the last Bastardizing Shakespeare post that someone rewrite one of the plays in Ubbi Dubbi. Charles took on the task and painstakingly rewrote a scene in one of Shakespeare's plays. Can you guess which play (and scene) it is?

nubunsubinubane. Uba Ruboom ubin thube Cubastle.

Ubentuber uba Duboctubor ubof Phubysubic uband uba Wubaitubing-Gubentle-wubomuban.

Duboct. Ubi hubave twubo nubights wubatchubed wubith ubyou, bubut cuban pubercubeive nubo trubuth ubin ubyour rubepubort. Whuben wubas ubit shube lubast wubalkubed?

Guben. Subince hubis mubajubestuby wubent ubintubo thube fubield, Ubi hubave subeen huber rubise frubom huber bubed, thrubow huber nubight-gubown ubupubon huber, ubunlubock huber clubosubet, tubake fuborth pubapuber, fubold ubit, wrubite ubupubon ’t, rubead ubit, ubaftuberwubards subeal ubit, uband ubagubain rubetuburn tubo bubed; ubyet uball thubis whubile ubin uba mubost fubast slubeep.

Duboct. Uba grubeat pubertuburbubatubion ubin nubatubure, tubo rubecubeive ubat ubonce thube bubenubefubit ubof slubeep uband dubo thube ubeffubects ubof wubatchubing! Ubin thubis slubumbuberuby ubagubitubatubion, bubesubides huber wubalkubing uband ubothuber ubactubual puberfubormubancubes, whubat, ubat ubanuby tubime, hubave ubyou hubeard huber subay?

Guben. Thubat, subir, whubich Ubi wubill nubot rubepubort ubaftuber huber.

Duboct. Ubyou mubay tubo mube, uband ’tubis mubost mubeet ubyou shubould.

Guben. Nubeithuber tubo ubyou nubor ubanuby ubone, hubavubing nubo wubitnubess tubo cubonfubirm muby spubeech.

Ubentuber Lubaduby Mubacbubeth, wubith uba tubapuber.

Lubo ubyou! hubere shube cubomes. Thubis ubis huber vuberuby gubuise; uband, ubupubon muby lubife, fubast ubaslubeep. Ubobsuberve huber; stuband clubose.

Duboct. Hubow cubame shube buby thubat lubight?

Guben. Whuby, ubit stubood buby huber: shube hubas lubight buby huber cubontubinubualluby; ’tubis huber cubommuband.

Duboct. Ubyou subee, huber ubeyes ubare ubopuben.

Guben. Ubay, bubut thubeir subense ubis shubut.

Duboct. Whubat ubis ubit shube duboes nubow? Lubook, hubow shube rububs huber hubands.

Guben. Ubit ubis uban ubaccubustubomed ubactubion wubith huber, tubo subeem thubus wubashubing huber hubands. Ubi hubave knubown huber tubo cubontubinubue ubin thubis uba qubuartuber ubof uban hubour.

Lubaduby M. Ubyet hubere’s uba spubot.

Duboct. Hubark! shube spubeaks. Ubi wubill subet dubown whubat cubomes frubom huber, tubo subatubisfuby muby rubemubembrubance thube mubore strubongluby.

Lubaduby M. Ubout, dubamned spubot! ubout, Ubi subay! Ubone; twubo: whuby, thuben, ’tubis tubime tubo dubo ’t. Hubell ubis muburkuby! Fubie, muby lubord, fubie! uba suboldubier, uband ubafubeard? Whubat nubeed wube fubear whubo knubows ubit, whuben nubone cuban cuball ubour pubowuber tubo ubaccubount? Ubyet whubo wubould hubave thubought thube ubold muban tubo hubave hubad subo mubuch blubood ubin hubim?

Duboct. Dubo ubyou mubark thubat?

Lubaduby M. Thube Thubane ubof Fubife hubad uba wubife: whubere ubis shube nubow? Whubat! wubill thubese hubands nube’uber bube clubean? Nubo mubore ubo’ thubat, muby lubord, nubo mubore ubo’ thubat: ubyou mubar uball wubith thubis stubartubing.

Duboct. Gubo tubo, gubo tubo; ubyou hubave knubown whubat ubyou shubould nubot.

Guben. Shube hubas spuboke whubat shube shubould nubot, Ubi ubam subure ubof thubat: Hubeavuben knubows whubat shube hubas knubown.

Lubaduby M. Hubere’s thube smubell ubof thube blubood stubill: uball thube puberfubumes ubof Ubarubabubia wubill nubot swubeetuben thubis lubittle huband. Uboh! uboh! uboh!

Duboct. Whubat uba subigh ubis thubere! Thube hubeart ubis suborubeluby chubargubed.

Guben. Ubi wubould nubot hubave subuch uba hubeart ubin muby bubosubom fubor thube dubignubituby ubof thube whubole buboduby.

Duboct. Wubell, wubell, wubell.

Guben. Prubay Gubod ubit bube, subir.

Duboct. Thubis dubisubease ubis bubeyubond muby prubactubice: ubyet Ubi hubave knubown thubose whubich hubave wubalkubed ubin thubeir slubeep whubo hubave dubied hubolubiluby ubin thubeir bubeds.

Lubaduby M. Wubash ubyour hubands, pubut ubon ubyour nubight-gubown; lubook nubot subo pubale. Ubi tubell ubyou ubyet ubagubain, Bubanqubuo’s buburubied; hube cubannubot cubome ubout ubon ’s grubave.

Duboct. Ubevuben subo?

Lubaduby M. Tubo bubed, tubo bubed: thubere’s knubockubing ubat thube gubate. Cubome, cubome, cubome, cubome, gubive mube ubyour huband. Whubat’s dubone cubannubot bube ubundubone. Tubo bubed, tubo bubed, tubo bubed. [Ubexubit.

Duboct. Wubill shube gubo nubow tubo bubed?

Guben. Dubirubectluby.

Duboct. Fuboul whubispuberubings ubare ubabruboad. Ubunnubatuburubal dubeeds
Dubo brubeed ubunnubatuburubal truboublubes; ubinfubectubed mubinds
Tubo thubeir dubeaf pubillubows wubill dubischubargube thubeir subecrubets;
Mubore nubeeds shube thube dubivubine thuban thube phubysubicubian.
Gubod, Gubod fuborgubive ubus uball! Lubook ubaftuber huber;
Rubemubove frubom huber thube mubeans ubof uball ubannuboyubance,,
Uband stubill kubeep ubeyes ubupubon huber. Subo, gubood-nubight:
Muby mubind shube hubas mubated, uband ubamubaz’d muby subight.
Ubi thubink, bubut dubare nubot spubeak.

Guben. Gubood-nubight, gubood duboctubor.

You Should Be a Painter

You have the vision, patience, and skill to bring your unique visions to canvas.
And you're even tempered enough not to cut your ear off in the process!


Camille Alexa said...

Guh. Why'd you do that to my brain? It bleeds.

Roxan said...

So? He can talk gibberish. Big deal. LOL
The quiz today needs to die a painful death.

December/Stacia said...

An amazing acheivement, truly. And I might have misspelled acheivement. It's one of those words I can never get right.

Kanrei said...


Kanrei said...

I tried to take the quiz, but question 5 "You're in NYC for a day alone. How do you entertain yourself? " stumped me. "Trying to find a way out" was not an option.

Roxan said...

I agree with Kanrei about the quiz only they didn't have What the hell would I be doing in NYC? As an option. LOL

Charles said...

I would like to say, I don't, let me make it perfectly clear, I do not speak this stuff. I figured it would be fun to write a script to produce it. So I did. It produced this from clear text in about a second. Just so I could experience what it was like, I wrote a script that would read it. So technically, my computer speaks gibberish.

Roxan said...

Oh, okay. LOL

Serena Joy said...

I can't "speak the language" but I thought it was a rather amazing exercise. I can, in fact, pick out enough words to tell from which of Shakespeare's plays the passage comes. Thanks for doing it, Charles.

Charles said...

Although I can produce, and even read it, when I hear it, I certainly don't understand it. I guess that's just one of the things that classifies me as a visual person. I'm certainly not an aural person.

Lee said...

lol....I thought I must have been drinking and forgotten that I had!

Charles said...

I'm beginning to think we've stumped everyone, SJ. The question remains unanswered, "Can you guess which play (and scene) it is?" Not even an answer in the negative.

Serena Joy said...

I know, Charles. So far, nobody's gotten it. Time will tell.

Charles said...

I think you need to offer a prize, something like a hearty 'attaboy. I'll contribute a matching 'attaboy.

puerileuwaite said...

Holy crap! Great translation work, Charles! I loved Zoom (after all, it was MY Mickey Mouse Club, and it was quite enjoyable watching the girls "develop" their, um, acting skills), but I always hated when they spoke Ubbi Dubbi, because I couldn't decifer it real-time. I was more of a Pig ... or should I say Pug ... Latin aficionado.

G-Man said...

I Prefer Igpay Atinlay!!
Ouyay Ockray Erryshay!!!

Serena Joy said...

"Attaboys" I can afford, Charles. I'll put a big fluffy one up for grabs.

I can't do it real-time, either, Puggy. Not since somebody stole my freakin' decoder ring.:)

Galen, you know I flunked Pig Latin 101. I have no idea what you said. Better not have been a curse or something.:-)

Charles said...

I think he said he prefers gay latins or something (wink.) Jus' kiddin'.

Serena Joy said...

I can take Ricky Martin in small doses. Am I going to have to fight G-man for him?:-)

Sling said...

"Since His Majesty went into the field,I have seen you rise from your bed,throw your night-gown upon you,unlock your closet,take forth paper,unfold it,write upon it,read it,afterwards seal it,and again return to bed.."
I don't know from Shakespeare,so I'm guessin' "King Lear"

Serena Joy said...

Good guess, Sling. Alas, it's not King Lear.

Sling said...

"Who's on First?"..

Serena Joy said...


Hale McKay said...

LUBOL! Chubarles, thubere subeems tubo bube ubat lubeast thrubee ubof ubus whubo cuban rubead thubat UBUBBUBI DUBUBBUBI.

Gubood jubob!

Hale McKay said...

By the way, I can read it and compose with it, but I cannot understand it as it is spoken.

It's sounds like gibberish - sort of like what you hear when Dubya tries to speak the English language, especially when tries to pronounce "nuclear."

MONA said...

Hale, Four can read it actually... Me too. It becomes easy after some time :) :)...

MONA said...

Dubya Man is still alive?...

G Dubya B...

Serena Joy said...

Charles, do you want to go ahead and spill the beans about which work it was?

Charles said...

Its your contest, SJ, I just did the translating. Of course, bleeding brains can be fun, as long as their figurative. Feel free to let it out. Let me know if there might be others you want done in the future.

Charles said...

they're, duh.

Roxan said...

Macbeth Act V Scene I

Serena Joy said...

It was, in fact, Macbeth. One Attaboy coming right up.

Roxan said...

I'm not a boy, but thanks.

You know me and trivia like stuff. As much as reading it irritated the crap out of me, (No offense to Charles) I couldn't leave it unanswered.

Pink said...

whabut the fubuck?

Charles said...

A hearty 'Attaboy, to Roxan, THE WINNER! Yay!