Tuesday, July 24, 2007


The Supreme Court "decides" who wrote Shakespeare

He hath songs for man or woman, of all sizes; no
milliner can so fit his customers with gloves: he
has the prettiest love-songs for maids; so without
bawdry, which is strange; with such delicate
burthens of dildos and fadings, 'jump her and thump
her;' and where some stretch-mouthed rascal would,
as it were, mean mischief and break a foul gap into
the matter, he makes the maid to answer 'Whoop, do me
no harm, good man;' puts him off, slights him, with
'Whoop, do me no harm, good man.'

~ from The Winter's Tale

The works of William Shakespeare are replete with earthy lines, which a few witty (and eagle-eyed - but studious, always studious) souls have playfully dubbed Shakesporn. Our Bard was no prude and it's not hard to spot the passages in which he let his hair down and showed his Puckish side, so to speak.

Your assignment today, should you choose to accept it, is to find and deliver a bawdy quote or two. Be sure to cite the work whence it comes. There are no extra points to be had, but if you do this you won't get stuck in Study Hall again Saturday.

As a couple of examples to get you started,

That man that hath a tongue, I say, is no man,
If with his tongue he cannot win a woman.

~ The Two Gentlemen of Verona - III, 1

Let me take you a button-hole lower.
~ Love’s Labour’s Lost, 5.2

...this drivelling love is like a great natural,
that runs lolling up and down to hide his bauble in a hole.

~ Mercutio, in Romeo and Juliet

TWISTED LINGUISTICS, alas, is always running the roads tracking down errant Words Gone Wild and has no time for plucking gems from bawdy plays and sonnets.

Imaginie how the poor sould (feels) - Yeah, poor sod lost his genie.

mystifed - Food that appeared from nowhere.

forumlate - The beginnings of a plan to jump into a discussion after it's over.

Golmer Pile - Gomer and Goober Pyle's pain-in-the-butt sixth cousin, thrice-removed by marriage but only twice-removed via intermarriage.

ressurection - Making a reservation to erect something.

prorogative - One who is in favor of options.

malchiousness - Delicious malice.

Once you've completed your assignment, do take this quiz and tell us who your inner muse is.

Your Inner Muse is Thalia

You are most like this playful muse of comedy.
Life is all about laughter to you, and you're a natural comic.
You make people laugh until their sides split.
And you're always up for some play time!


Jack K. said...

I thought mystifed was what they served in the mess hall when I went through Air Force basic training lo those many years ago.

G-Man said...

Oh Serena....
The Bard had many hidden phrases and hidden meanings for sure...
"Much Ado About Nothing"
Act II..Scene I..
..Overjoyed with finding a 'bird nest' he shows it to his companion, and steals it...

I do believe that was a reference to "cooter"

His other euphamistic words for 'snapper' included...
Velvet Leaves
Dearest Body Part
And my Favorite...Venus's Glove!

Thanks SJ, for giving me the opportunity to talk about one of my favorite subjects....xoxbgxox

..Shakespeare of course!

Serena Joy said...

Sounds like that definition works very well, Jack.:)

Good heavens, Galen, you're in rare form this morning. LOL! I'd say

"Get thee to a nunn'ry."
~ Hamlet (III, i, 122)

except I'm pretty sure they wouldn't let you in.:-)

Kanrei said...

The one that caught me as him being "frisky" and trying to push buttons is from Othello:

"I am one, sir, that comes to tell you your daughter and the Moor are now making the beast with two backs."

Great visual picture of the act and the added bonus of mix-race sex. Gotta love that plagiarizing wacky bard. Yes, I believe Billy stole quite a bit of his "work", but that is for another day...

snowelf said...

Hey SJ!
I totally agree with your inner muse! :)


Anonymous said...

LOL. Accoding to g-man's comment the bard invented 'purple prose'!!!

I don't know the exact line, but there is one in Taming of the Shrew that made us giggle when we did it in high school....something about giving someone head...

Anonymous said...

Your Inner Muse is Urania

You are most like this muse of astronomy.
Your head is in the stars, and you look to the future.
You give off a heavenly, mysterious vibe.
And you're not too bad at predicting the future.

Serena Joy said...

'Othello' is wide open for some great visuals, Kan. Speaking of visuals, and I know you don't want to see this one, and I know you already know about it, but -- Pop Tart Alert, LiLo. LMAO.:)

I was just delighted with that muse, too, Snow. What was yours?

LOL, Seeley. There's no way that wouldn't make a bunch of adolescents snicker and giggle.:)

Urania -- I like saying that. Urania, Urania.

Kanrei said...

LiLo has me laughing harder than She Who Shall No Be Named.

Serena Joy said...

I rather thought it would, Kan.:-)

Perhaps tomorrow I'll ask for limericks dedicated to the Unholy Tart Triumvirate. Pump it, strumpets.:)

Camille Alexa said...

They say all lovers swear more performance than they are able, and yet reserve an ability that they never perform, vowing more than the perfection of ten and discharging less than the tenth part of one.
- The History of Troilus and Cressida


I'll take that winter from your lips, fair lady.
- The History of Troilus and Cressida

Light and lust are deadly enemies.


Virtue, as it never will be moved,
Though Lewdness court it in a shape of Heav'n;
So Lust, though to a radiant angel link'd,
Will sate itself in a celestial bed,
And prey on garbage.

Okay, some of those weren't very porny. Sorry.

Serena Joy said...

Au contraire, Camille. They're perfect. It's all in the nuance and inflection. The subtle "under-meaning" should be inferred rather than blatant, and your choices are excellent examples.:)

Scary Monster said...

Instead of actually cracking the books, me might just jump over to some porn site and see iffin Me cain't find a verse or two to borrow from.

Thy thrashing and shuddering shasllow slumber has left naught but one patch of arrid sleep spot.

A midsummer's night wet dream

Serena Joy said...

Scary, Scary, YOU be the Puckish one. LOL.

ThatGreenyFlower said...

My inner muse is apparently also "Thalia." Whatever!

Good to be back, SJ! I was on a hotel computer and didn't want to hog the thing when I was out of towm, so I'm just now finally getting back to my blogstroll. Ah. As good as coming home. Thanks for keeping me company while I was away!

I can't find the (inner or external) resources to look up bawdy Shakespeare quotes right now, but I sure am enjoying everyone else's! xo

Serena Joy said...

Hey, welcome home, Greeny! I'm glad you're back safe and sound. You did, however, do a great job of keeping up with your buds on the hotel computers.:)

puerileuwaite said...

'Tis better to have lusted and lost,
than to have the wench run up thy cost."

- Bill Shakespeare, as channeled through The Pug on Larry King

Serena Joy said...

Ahh, there's the lusty Pug we all know and ... lust after.:-)

Hale McKay said...

My naked weapon is out. - Romeo & Juliet; Act I, Sc I

Me they shall fel while I am able to stand: and'tis known I am a pretty piece of flesh. - Romeo & Juliet; Act I, Sc I

He does it with better grace, but I do it more natural. - Twelth Night; Act II, Sc II

Hale McKay said...


Me they shall feel...

Serena Joy said...

I knew you'd ace this assignment, Mike. Bravo!:-)

Roxan said...

Evidently The Bard never said "Get Thee Bent." LOL

Diesel said...

There is a clear need for a constitutional amendment to keep that guy from talking any more.

Annie Wicking and Loman Austen said...

Willian Shakespeare, 12th Night:

Hector is dead; there is no more to say.

Long live Shakespeare...
What more can I say...;-)