Monday, July 23, 2007

He Said, She Said



Remember the old "telephone" game? You played it when you were a kid, right? And you remember how little time it took for the original tidbit of information imparted to become so skewed and twisted around as it made the rounds that it became something else altogether.

For example, Serena, Ann, Mary, and Bob met for a budget planning session. They worked for a couple of hours, broke for dinner, and then came back to continue working. Since their evening was shot anyway, they worked late into the night and finalized a budget for the next fiscal year.

The buzz over the water cooler the next morning went something like this: "Did you hear that Serena and Bob spent the night together?" "Yeah, and I heard Bob got shot!"

The advent of the Internet, of course, can rev it up to warp speed and the rumor might take on a life of its own in record time. We could play a variation of "telephone" by starting off with one simple sentence, added to and embellished by each subsequent poster. Fill in the blank left by the last poster and make a new sentence, ending in a blank for the next poster to pick up and run with. By the end, we should have a pretty funny story.

"Serena wore her new shoes to ______________."


Here's what's on the TWISTED LINGUISTICS docket of Words Gone Wild on trial today.

emediately - Instant e-mail.


The others, I'm depending on you to define.


the public domaine
after greating me enthusiasticly
proceded to talk at great lenghts
husler


I have no idea what this quiz even means (Me, overbearing? There's a laugh.) but what the heck, it's different.





You Are Rock


Powerful and overbearing, you intimidate people with your presence.
People know they can't push you around, and they respect that.
Deep down, you are calm, confident, and unmovable.
You take everything pretty seriously, and you think deeply about all aspects of your life.

You tend to feel smothered by paper people.

You don't mind crushing the spirit of a scissors person.

When you fight, you: Use all of your strength

If someone makes you mad: You're likely to throw something at them

102 comments:

G-Man said...

" Did you hear that Serena had lost her brand new shoes....In the backseat of G-mans car?"

( Yeah I heard, and good luck on getting them back!!!)

Roxan said...

Did you hear G-man is running around wearing pink high heels?


***You Are Paper***


Crafty and creative, you are able to adapt freely to almost any situation.
People tend to underestimate you, unless they've truly seen what you are capable of.
Deep down, you're always scheming and thinking up new plans. Your mind is constantly active.
You are quite capable of anything you dream of. You can always figure out a way to get what you want.

You can wrap a rock person up in your sheet of trickery.

A scissor person can sneak up and cut you to pieces.

When you fight: No one can anticipate your next move

If someone makes you mad: You'll attack them mercilessly when they're unprepared.

I've never attack mercilessly, but paper cuts hurt so maybe I will start. LOL

G-Man said...

.....Hey Kansas, lets get the story straight here OK?
Peep-Toed Pumps!!!

Liz said...

The pink peep-toed pumps clashed with his leopardskin leotard so he went straight down to the mall to get a ______________

Roxan said...

sexy low cut satin low rider pant suit from Frederick's of Hollywood.

leelee said...

which he wore to the fifth annual__________________________

Serena Joy said...

Damn it all, G-man, you weren't supposed to tell that.:-) (So, did you find them yet?)

Liz & Roxan, you ladies are dressing him up in style. LOL! I can't wait to see where Leelee ends up sending him.

Charles said...

San Francisco, Coming Out Parade. Serena promptly____________.

leelee said...

lol charles

Charles said...

Hey, I didn't start down this road, and Serena wanted it to get outrageous.

Serena Joy said...

LMAO! The more outrageous it is, the funnier it is. Somebody get the smelling salts, though; poor Galen could faint by the time y'all are done with him.:-)

Charles said...

G was the one that planted San Francisco in my brain today, BTW. Roxan put him in the shoes, and Liz put him in the leotards, I just put him in the parade.

Charles said...

If he doesn't puke, he doesn't faint.
He's a biker.

Serena Joy said...

Nah, he hates puking. And he won't faint, but if he does, he has a good helmet.:-)

MONA said...

He doesn'T puke? OMG! & I heard that he was having all the symptoms of a "pregnant lady" ..Pstt. dont tell this to anyone, but he & his boyfriend whom he married secretly are palnning the adoption of a baby, & thence forth he has been having all the morning sickness...He is PRETENDING to hate puking so that nobody can guess the state he is in...Dont tell anyone that I told you, because signgurl tyold me not to tell when she told me!

MONA said...

He pukes;Serena, he pukes!! he does that! He hides the 'noise' of his puking in the Vrrrrooommm...He just hates that others should come to know about this!!!

MONA said...

& do you know serena, He is plotting against you.. be careful.. He uses your shoes while he walks around, Gets out of his car on the highway & pees by the roadside, hoping that the police might discover the footprints of YOUR shoes...tch tch.. you cant trust even your closest bosom buddy these days!

Charles said...

hhehehehehehe. Only Mona can get away with that. He'll probably have me knocked off.

MONA said...

I warned you Serena, not to get too close to anybody... no soooo close at least...In my country we have a saying : " koi haath bhi na milaayegaa jo gale miloge tapaak se, yeh naye mijaaz kaa sher hai zaraa faasle se raha karo" : meaning... Nobody will be ready to even shake hands with you if you make it a habit to hug them too ofen.This is a new era, please keep your distance to be safe!!

Now see? you have courted Trouble!

MONA said...

Dont worry Charles, I will kiss him to calmness... He is vulnerable to weepy females, just like that fella Dan is...Only Dan is worse!!.. Do you know, he is planning to go naked for his next HNT!!! He apes that Charlie... Now where will he get an ass & b**bs like hers!!! I am wondering...

MONA said...

he will have you knocked off??? Dont tell me Charles, Does he have KNOCKERS!!!!

I believe he is taking estrogen & progesterone on the sly!!!

Serena Joy said...

Oh, dear me, Galen is pregnant? Is it his?

Don't worry about me, Mona -- trouble is my middle name. At least I'm not pregnant.:-)

MONA said...

Serena.. you didnt see his stomach did you? I guess that must be eigteen months... do you think it is twins??

He seems to hog for not two but three these days...& he Pukes & he pukes.. But he eats for three fer sure! I am POSTIVE!!! I KNOW Itwhen I see it! I have the eye of the eagle!

MONA said...

Wait.. I have a friend who is a nurse, called Jillie! I have seen him sneaking in & out of that hospital. Suerly Jillie will tell me what it is... But dont tell anyone that she told, because then it might cost jillie her job.

Serena Joy said...

To keep y'all "somewhat" on track, somebody needs to fill in this blank

San Francisco, Coming Out Parade. Serena promptly____________.

and keep the "story" going.:)

Serena Joy said...

I don't know, Mona. I gave him a pregnancy test and he flunked it.:)

MONA said...

Serena! I am sure he changed that urine! he switched it with his husband's urine!!

Serena Joy said...

Well, he did steal my shoes and pee in them. Anything is possible, I suppose. I do wish to state publicly that I am not the baby mama.:-)

MONA said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
MONA said...

he is a queer person I swear it! He is very queer in his ways. He loves so many women , writes queerly funny posts & poems & he wears funny tees & he has this quirky sense of humor... He gives me goose pimples!!

Charles said...

Perhaps a little more explanation is in order here, SJ.

MONA said...

Charles? do you think it is the guilty conscience that is pricking the mind??

MONA said...

OMG! Not SERENA!!! I cant believe it!!! she cannot DO that!!!

MONA said...

Srena??? His pee landed in your shoes??? OMG!!!!!!!!
You know what you are saying girl!!!

If he cant shoot far from there it means he doesnt have.....!!!!!!

MONA said...

WOOO HOOO! what a discovery!!! LMAO!!!!

MONA said...

SHHHH! now it is confirmed!!! dont tel anyone we know!!!
At least not poor him... he will be quite quite embarrased to know that we know!

Charles said...

Somebody's having way too much fun.

Charles said...

You're supposed to write a sentence leaving a blank for someone else to fill in.

Roxan said...

They call it OCD. LOL

Kanrei said...

My G-d! Your blog exploded! I remember you complaining about the weather and so few hits. Now look at you. 39 average with 69 the other day?! I bow before you, Scarlet Internet Queen.

Serena Joy said...

You're supposed to write a sentence leaving a blank for someone else to fill in.

Thank you, Charles, for standing in as referee and attempting to restore some order to this here asylum. If the poor gentleman is in a family way, we must pretend to notice nothing awry. My lips be zipped. Do they still have homes for those accidental pregnancies?:)

Serena Joy said...

I blame the weather, Kan. It got too hot and apparently peoples' brains fried. Now they will do nothing but have fun. I don't know what I'm going to do. At least I'm not pregnant.:)

Charles said...

We'd have to get him into one, since he'd never fit into a straight-jacket in that condition. Asylums have their limits, too.

MONA said...

Ok Ok I will leave before my tongue can utters folly...
what sentense can I write Charles... The poor innocent me...Dont drag me in some wild gossip. What am I To do, is serena still wnats those peed in shoes...Sniff...& I know that they collect a cow's urine in India... But I did not know that they collect a Guy's urine in your country [ Incidently a 'GUY' is a hindi word for cow ] So I guess Serena must have missed the meaning... but if she want5s to waer those urine soaked shoes again then she is______________________

Serena Joy said...

Oh, dear me, Mona -- guys are cows in India? That could lead to some miscommunication. LOL. Galen promised to clean my shoes, so they'll be fine. The problem will be getting them back from him.

Charles, I'll call and see if the Florence Crittenden Homes are still open for business. They'll take good care of him. And I still deny any involvement.:)

MONA said...

Serena? could it be that you made him preggie!!!

CHARLES! SHE WEARS PANTS FOR ALL HER HNTs!!!!!!!

Can it mean????....Oh Dear...my smelling salts....

MONA said...

Psst Charles.. she denies it toooo much for her own good!... I think she is acting like him about that puke thing!!!

MONA said...

hey Charles is there anything like cross dressing????

Roxan said...

I know the name of my serial killin' man's next victim. It will be a slow death. I think I'll let Tick handle this one. The thread will come in handy to silence the obnoxiousness. Did I just say that?
Yes, I did.

MONA said...

yes serena.. guys are indeed cows in our language LOL! [ this is no joke] Dont worry, I will get your shoes back!!

Serena Joy said...

Mona, honey, you gotta stop make me snort Coke and stuff out of my nose. If another zinger catches me off guard, I may have to call 911. I know some cross-dressers but I, alas, do not have the Adam's apple to do it up right. Damn it, they all have better legs than me, too.:-)

MONA said...

screw serial killers... I have squished so many of them like house flies... I am a dangerous game!!!

Serena Joy said...

Oh, Lord, Roxan, are you going to set him loose on me?! I'll straighten up, I swear. As soon as I stop laughing.:-)

MONA said...

CHARLES!!!! SHE SNORTS COKE TOO!!!!!!

Serena Joy said...

Oh, Lord, I'm telling all my secrets. It was really Dr Pepper, I swear.

Now, somebody do the BLANK, please! I'll even give you a brand new one.

In order to get Serena back on track, Mona told the guy in the field to ____________.

MONA said...

She confessed it to me !!! I swear!! She said she was snorting coke!!!

I bet that is what they were doing in the car when she left it without her shoes

& of course she doesnt remember what other things they did...I can understand.. who can in that condition...!!!

Corn Dog said...

I lost the sentence somehow that needed to be tacked on to. I saw San Francisco somewhere and thought I was being summoned personally but then the thread vanished.

I'd like to ad the shoes matched the dress that matched the bra of J. Edgar Hoover. Perhaps?

Roxan said...

No Sher. Not you. Why would you think it was you? I'm out of here. Sorry, someone has ruined this by being obnoxious. It's no longer fun.

MONA said...

SRRREEEENNNNAAA! Dont tell them THAAAT!!!!
OMG! WHERE CAN I HIDE MY FACE!!

CHARLES.... I need your chest honey!!!

Kanrei said...

In order to get Serena back on track, Mona told the guy in the field to stop selling her all that damn Coke she seems to snort.

Kanrei said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
MONA said...

Kanrie dear... you want me arrested dont you?

MONA said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kanrei said...

The Shakespearean thingie just hurt my feelings.

"You are a shallow cowardly hind, and you lie."

That's just mean...

7/23/2007 3:52 PM

Serena Joy said...

It's true, Mona. I don't really remember anything since probably 1982.

San Francisco is WAY back up top, CD. It kind of got left by the wayside. How did you know?! Those shoes do match J. Edgar's bra. Perfectly!

I resemble the slander, Kan, but okay, that sentence will do. You didn't leave a blank for the next person to pick up, though. I'll go ahead and add one.

In order to get Serena back on track, Mona told the guy in the field to stop selling her all that damn Coke she seems to snort and sell her instead some ___________.

MONA said...

Brood... & now they will link me to that drug peddlar...& jst because of that big mouth Kanrie!!!

Kanrei said...

Oh....I get the game now. I will correct my error.


In order to get Serena back on track, Mona told the guy in the field to stop selling her all that damn Coke she seems to snort and sell her instead some tiny Brazilian marching band members with running noses.

Kanrei said...

I never could keep a secret Mona, sorry.

MONA said...

I think Charles has gone to sleep... must follow him...I need to go to sleep too...Its half past one here!!

Serena Joy said...

The "story" thus far:

Serena wore her new shoes to (somewhere with Galen).

Did you hear that Serena had lost her brand new shoes....In the backseat of G-mans car?"

Consequently, Did you hear G-man is running around wearing pink (peep-toed) high heels?

The pink peep-toed pumps clashed with his leopardskin leotard so he went straight down to the mall to get a

sexy low cut satin low rider pant suit from Frederick's of Hollywood.

which he wore to the fifth annual

San Francisco, Coming Out Parade. Serena promptly

And there things took a bit of a detour, picking up (much) later with

In order to get Serena back on track, Mona told the guy in the field to stop selling her all that damn Coke she seems to snort and sell her instead some

tiny Brazilian marching band members with running noses.

Serena liked the marching band and to fix their little red noses, she gave them ____________.

MONA said...

wait till I find something about you Kan... even I cant keep a secret... Shhh let them not discover this about us!!!

MONA said...

she gave them MARIJUANA that she had been hiding in her bra!!!

MONA said...

Psst! do you know serena has these little pockets in her Bra where she hides things!!! Last time I saw her hiding some __________________

Serena Joy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
MONA said...

TA TA serena...LOL this was Too much fun.If I dont go to sleep now, I will not be able to wake up early tomorrow that I HAVE to. Thanks for the wonderful evening You Rock!!! (((HUGS)))

If serena's is the blog of fun... play on!

:)

Charles said...

LMAO. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

MONA said...

CHARLES! Dont laugh so loud! someone will hear us!!!

O dear he will ruin everything with his open mouth... I will shut it before I go...

come here charles!!!! SMMMMMMMOOOCH

There! that will teach ya!

SignGurl said...

Serena wore her new shoes to (somewhere with Galen).

Did you hear that Serena had lost her brand new shoes....In the backseat of G-mans car?"

Consequently, Did you hear G-man is running around wearing pink (peep-toed) high heels?

The pink peep-toed pumps clashed with his leopardskin leotard so he went straight down to the mall to get a

sexy low cut satin low rider pant suit from Frederick's of Hollywood.

which he wore to the fifth annual

San Francisco, Coming Out Parade. Serena promptly

And there things took a bit of a detour, picking up (much) later with

In order to get Serena back on track, Mona told the guy in the field to stop selling her all that damn Coke she seems to snort and sell her instead some

tiny Brazilian marching band members with running noses.

Psst! do you know serena has these little pockets in her Bra where she hides things!!! Last time I saw her hiding some donuts.

The police were on to her hiding place and ____________________

tfg said...

Damn! This is getting as bad as Pug's blog.

Charles said...

kept trying to grab her donuts. Subsequently, ________________ busted out.

Serena Joy said...

Thank you, Signgurl, for getting this motley crew pointed back in the right direction.

I will say that hiding donuts in one's bra is not a real good idea. They can get pretty sticky when it's hot. But I digress -- we're making progress here!:)

I think it's mass heat-stroke induced psychosis, T. :-)

I'm almost afraid to see how that turns out, Charles. :)

Charles said...

Anticipation is a wonderful thing.

Serena Joy said...

Well, Carly Simon seemed to think so, Charles. I'm pretty impatient myself.:)

MONA said...

Susequently, when the police wanted to know what the donuts were doing there, serena said she had bought them at Snow's sex toy party & had just 'worn' them & was waiting for Snow to come & teach her ______________

puerileuwaite said...

how to "glaze" them. But it was Serena's eyes that were the most glazed of all, after TFG showed her the Kama Sutra based method of ______________________

MONA said...

super acrobatic sex...she could chose her own punishment there & they were ready, as she said that she would be giving some kamasutra lessons to the police staff...her first lesson was on____________

snowelf said...

how to use their night sticks. However, it was quickly interrupted when through the door burst ___________


(--snow)

puerileuwaite said...

The Spanish Inquisition! Which - of course - nobody ever expected. As Serena was fluent in Spanish, she promptly ___________________

Serena Joy said...

I don't want to interrupt the flow of the "story," but people, this was supposed to be about SHOES. I'm not sure how it got to glazed acrobatic Kama Sutra sex (is that that Tantric stuff that P. Diddy does?) egged on with nightsticks. LOL. But do carry on and let's see where it goes. I can't say I object all that much to Mona's Snow's and Puggy's helpful pointers. Al amor! :-)

Hale McKay said...

She promptly dipped the donut into some salsa and_______________.

THis story will never make Readers Digest.

G-Man said...

Asked the Grand Inquisitor.....Senior Torquemada, have you seen my G-man? He is quite comely in his fine apparral, we like to call him our little "Gordita", word has it that he is being held captive until he............

Hale McKay said...

---but you might be able to sell the rights to Cheech & Chong - they haven't done a movie together in a long time.

Serena Joy said...

No, Mike, I don't think it'll make Readers Digest. Field & Stream, maybe. LOL.

My Little Gordita, you have slyly dodged the question of the day: are you or are you not damaged goods? Senorita Torquemada del Carmen Chiquita wishes to know if there is a white dress and a shotgun in your future. Hablar la verdad!

Lee said...

It's ages and ages since I've played that game. Often my grandmother and I would play it as we did the washing up and drying of the dinner dishes. Plus a girlfriend and I used to play it during our lunch hours when we were teenagers...thanks for the memories!

MONA said...

... until he begged for more!
& then they chained him up to this huge four poster bed... all three of them...& went one by one...

Shhh... do'nt let the media hear that... I heard that they are always looking for some gossip! That horrible media! I can kill those ppl! the snoopy backbiters that they are...

Well then as I was saying... Galen is this Macho supernam who has this insatiable_____________

MONA said...

Serena... No. kama sutra & tantric sex are two different things

Kamasutra is a sex manual written in ancient India by Vyastsen.. the sex guru. It has detailed descriptions of various sex acts along with hand drawn illustrations.
Vyastsen lived in a famous Indian Brothel. It was THE brothel of that time which men from all over the world came to visit.[ it must have been Bangkok of ancient times!]
The men who came there brought their unique sex techniques of their lands. Vyastsen had spy holes to peep through into each room & jot down the details... Then he went about improvising on them, inventing a counter technique for women [ if he found the women of the brothel too passive at times]. But most of the time even the women invented what they could with their foreign partners. This too he noted down. So It was not just Vyastsen who is responsible for the book Kama sutra. The women helped him in playing role of invention!
Kama means sex & sutra means delineation.

MONA said...

Tantric sex on the other had is the perforamance of the act in such a way that it takes a spiritual dimesion.
It is sex with love. Love is seen as something both rich & painful, a boundary that divides matter & consciousness, the boundary of lower & higher, the rope stretching between two polarities, one sex & other prayer.... part of it is sex, & part of it is prayer.
The sexual part is bound to bring many miseries. The part belonging to paryer will bring many joys. Hence it is difficult to renounce love, because in that one is afraid to lose the joys that come with it...
But it will bring much suffering because your sexuality reminds you of your animality... that is the pain. It reminds you of your biologiacal bondage. It reminds you that you are niot free but a slave to a strong instinct given to you by nature& you are like puppet in the hand of such dark forces, unseen forces.
Sex is felt like a humilaition where you feel that in sex you are losing your dignity & then the fulfilment is so momentary, followed by long night...the ecstacy is like a breeze, it comes and goes and leaves you in a desert like state...

MONA said...

... you had hoped many tghings from the instictual part & nothing is delivered...
But it brings a few moments of utter purity and joy and innocence too. It brings moments of timelessness...It brings few moments of egolessness too when in a deep orgasmic spasm, the ego vanishes completely... where it is forgotten...
In state it can be sublimated to the level of meditation, of being mindless or rather where your mind is empty...& then it will make you feel the bliss which will last...

MONA said...

Tantra means being Natural.It believes not the rejection of anything, but using it for the value that it can produce.It feels that whatever is given to you is precious. You may know its value, you may not know its value. It is precious, If it was not so, existence would not have given it to you. So you have to find a way to transform it. You have to make your love more prayerful, you have to make your sex more loving. Slowly it is like a sacred act between you & your partner.. it has to be raised.Rather than sex pulling you down into the mire of animality, you can pull sex upwards..

MONA said...

The same energy that pulls you down can pull you upwards and the same energy can give you wings. It has tremendous power, certaianly the most powerful act, because life arises out of it. You can imagine its potential when you see the birth of a child . It gives birth to new life. It can bring new life into existence. You can imagine its potential...it can bring new life to you too!!! Give you new birth.
Sex has to become a great meditative art. That is the contribution of Tantra to the world. It gives you the key to transform the lowest into the highest...Mud into lotuses. it is a science...
I have not mastered that art :) but I dream of such sex with my dream man... where it is not just a physical act of love making, but an act of pouring your soul in it... where it is not any kind of feeling of loss but of benediction... not of giving & taking...but of sharing...

Pink said...

I lost Serena's shoes...

last I saw...she dipped a donut into some salsa...

Asked the Grand Inquisitor.....Senior Torquemada, have you seen my G-man? He is quite comely in his fine apparral, we like to call him our little "Gordita", word has it that he is being held captive until he............

... until he begged for more!
& then they chained him up to this huge four poster bed... all three of them...& went one by one...

Galen is this Macho supernam who has this insatiable....

(whew)

appetite for picante donuts and so the grand inquisitor and his boys took turns feeding him donuts and wiping his tears as he told them the story of his lost pink peep toe shoes.

Suddenly Super Serena burst through the door brandishing a ______________________

Serena Joy said...

Suddenly Super Serena burst through the door brandishing a ______________________

Sign saying, "And this is the end of this madness. Thank you, Pinks!"