Hot town, summer in the city
Back of my neck getting dirty and gritty
Been down, isn't it a pity
Doesn't seem to be a shadow in the city
All around, people looking half dead
Walking on the sidewalk, hotter than a match head.
("Summer in the City," The Lovin' Spoonful)
The weatherman -- not the one on crack -- said it was going to get hot again. He was right. The temperature climbed back up into the 90s yesterday and continues to climb today. I came in yesterday afternoon tired, dragging, and hot as hell. The first thing I did was turn on all the ACs. It didn't take long to get this place freezing cold, whereupon I grabbed a blanket and a nap. I don't care what it does outside as long as I never have to work construction, roofing, or ditch-digging. And it's a good thing because today is going to be even hotter, like around 95. And more humid. It's an absolute truism that dry heat is easier to survive than wet, suffocating heat.
Oh, and I somehow made it home yesterday with a slash across the tip of my right index finger. I have no idea how that happened. Once I cooled down and had my little nap, I slapped a Band-Aid on the cut-up finger and put on a new toilet seat. Yes, I am the handyman around here. I can fix the stopped-up plumbing, get a cranky ceiling fan going again, and change the handles on a faucet. I still can't figure out which switch controls which electrical circuit without managing to black out the whole house, though. Oh, and you don't even want to know how many floors I've laid. This kind of tarnishes the girly-girl image, I suppose, but somebody's gotta do it.
Because I'm not a spoiled, too-rich, skanky party girl, if I were to get busted for DUI and if I were to subsequently violate the terms of my probation and get my pampered ass thrown in jail, I'd bet money that I'd have to serve more than THREE DAYS. Exactly what lesson did said over-indulged princess learn from this experience? Like we don't all know. What a fucking crock. Unfortunately, you see this kind of thing in all walks of life; i.e., there are those to whom crap simply will not stick.
The Twisted Linguistics posse picked up these Words Gone Wild for your enjoyment and general confusion.
publishung - A Chinese province, home of the biggest printer of fortunes for cookies.
consupmtion - A popular new pole-dancing move.
unsuscpecting - Hitting a queen over the head and relieving her of her scepter.
mesage baord - Something best left to the Voodoo queens.
crochect - What bad writers do in their spare time.
prerferene - A seductive scent, made from pheromones and guppie puke.
And now I'm going to run out to Wal-Mart and pick up a new coffeemaker. When I come back, I think I'm going to work on my manuscript. Yes, it's true -- I have the urge! I haven't done anything on it in weeks, so it's about time.
Dang, it looks like we have another lying-ass quiz here.:-)