Heat It Up

The heat is on, on the street
Inside your head, on every beat
And the beat's so loud, deep inside
The pressure's high, just to stay alive
'Cause the heat is on.

("The Heat Is On," Glenn Frey)


It's turned hot again; like mid-90s. All I have to say is, thank God for air conditioning. Of all the things that make me cranky, heat is right up there near the top of the list. It's supposed to storm tonight and ... cool things down; i.e., it's only going to be near 90 tomorrow.

High summer is about to descend upon us and settle in for the duration. In other words, the heat is here to stay, so now is the time to develop strategies for defeating it.


Things To Do When It's Hot

* Clothing optional for most of these activities

- Anything that can be done underwater, go for it.
- Eat more ice cream.
- Fill the bathtub with ice and sit in it.
- Run the dog out of the back yard kiddie doggie pool and sit in it.
- Drink more. Go heavy on the ice, and the addition of any kind of alcohol might make you care less about the heat.
- Sit in front of the air conditioner and refuse to move.
- Sleep in front of the air conditioner -- in your skivvies. And refuse to move.
- Hide all the weapons -- and the household items that can be turned into emergency weapons. Tempers flare during heat waves. (Tennessee Williams knew a thing or two about that.)
- Carry a spray bottle with you and spritz yourself often. Warning: you may be asked to participate in wet tee-shirt contests.
- Think about going commando. After all, the less you're wearing, the less susceptible you are to prickly heat.
- Take up midnight bike riding. See Littlebirdblue for what I'm talking about.
- To keep a cool head, strap a battery-powered fan to your hat. You could do the same with your ankles, wrists, yada-yada. Just be sure to keep the weight balanced so you don't tip over. As damn hot as it is, nobody's going to bother to pick you up.


*Thanks, Camille. Thanks, everybody.


Today's hot TWISTED LINGUISTICS

deerves - Tasty little venison appetizers.

itenerary - Goddess of teenage hormones.

expecially - A former weight-lifting buddy.

possitive - According to the test, the possum is pregnant.

standrad - Just the usual level of radiation.


Boudreaux was bragging about his knowledge of state capitals. He proudly says, "Go ahead, and ask me, I know all of them."

A friend says, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?"

Boudreaux replies, "Oh, that's easy: W."


I cut my hair a little bit yesterday.

You Need Some Green in Your Life

Green will make you feel alive, renewed, and balanced. And with a little green, you will project an aura of peacefulness and harmony. If you want stability, you've got to get a little green in your life! For extra punch: Combine green with blue or purple The downside of green: It can promote jealousy in yourself or others The consequences of more green in your life: You will be drawn to a new life path You will feel free to pursue new ideas and interests, no matter how strange You will be released from the demands and concerns of others

What Color Do You Need?