Saturday, June 30, 2007
Bastardizing the Bard
Your assignment today is to take a Shakespearean sonnet, couplet, quote -- whatever -- and pervert it into the modern vernacular.
For example, you might rewrite
O, swear not by the moon, the inconstant moon,
That monthly changes in her circled orb,
Lest that thy love prove likewise variable.
Yo, girlfriend, you can't blame
Your freaky mood swings on the moon.
You are schizo. Capiche?
Was ever book containing such vile matter
So fairly bound? O, that deceit should dwell
In such a gorgeous palace!
Have you ever seen such unedited swill printed
On cheap paper with curling cover
As a PublishAmerica book?
You could completely demolish
Come, night; come, Romeo; come, thou day in night.
And make it read
Oh, Romeo, come here, baby -- want to fool around all night long?
You get the idea. Now go find some Shakespeare to trash and let's see what you can do with it. It's Saturday, and it's the full moon. We need all the amusement we can get.