Byte Me

I worked for two days trying to get that crashed laptop of mine restored to the way it was. Nada. No go. I mean, it was working, but it wasn't working the way it did before. And two days of fiddling with it did not yield the resurrection of my dead wireless connection. I have to have that. I just have to. So, I called a techie friend yesterday and he said he could probably tweak it some more for me (but couldn't get to it for a couple of weeks) but, "Hey, it's nearly three years old and you might want to consider just buying a new one."

So, I did. I went after work yesterday afternoon and zeroed in pretty quickly on the one that would do the best job for me at the best price. I did my part toward contributing to the national epidemic of credit card debt (although it seriously didn't cost much more than some intensive care by a pro would have cost me), took it home, and opened up the box like a kid with a new toy on Christmas morning. It's sleek and pretty and has way more bells and whistles than I need. I have about two inches more screen than I had before, too. So, anyway, I was rooting around in the box looking for the stuff that I knew should be in there, nonplussed that I wasn't finding anything. I looked, and looked again, and ... there was no power cord. No manual or any of the other accessories, either. But okay, I have a bunch of extra power cords. No problemo. I plugged her in and turned her on and ... bupkis. I just about hit the ceiling when I discovered that someone named Michael Garrett had apparently previously bought and returned the computer. I could tell because he had set up Windows in his name and then passworded it so nobody could get in.

I had to pack it back up and head back to the store, where I was immediately given a replacement. I cautioned the customer service lady that they could not sell that obviously no longer new computer again because everything but the computer itself was missing from the box and it was passworded and inaccessible. I truly hope they don't foist it off on somebody else. And that they will call up Michael Garrett and tell him to bring back all the stuff he kept.

Long story short, I got home with the replacement and got it set up pretty quickly. I like it. A lot. It didn't have much in the way of extra software, so I had to install MS Office (because I can't live without Word, and I like Excel, too) and AOL. Except -- it wouldn't take my AOL disc because it wasn't compatible with Vista. I ended up downloading the AOL software. I will say this -- I think Vista sucks. I don't like it at all. I suppose I'll get used to it, though.

I turned on the sick laptop last night because I needed to copy some stuff out of it. As soon as Windows booted up, I noticed that (get ready -- with my luck, you knew this was coming) it was wirelessly connected to the Internet. Ain't that always the way? It's okay, though. Now I'll have an excellently functioning laptop and one that's not quite up to par but working reasonably well after what it's been through. And this will give me the opportunity I've been looking for to retire the PC that's been taking up so much space in my den.

My boss, who was in the office only briefly yesterday, forgot to pay me -- because I forgot to tell him it was the day to do so. He said later on the phone that he'd run by this morning and write me a check, but he hasn't shown up yet. Luckily, I'm not dead broke yet.

TWISTED LINGUISTICS

More from our "editor person"

deseert - A reference to the local psychic having her tea.

inopertune - How fledgling opera singers spend their time.
_________________
steeling your stuff - Reinforcing your belongings with steel.

pulled down pillers - Someone who knocks over people who take too many pills.

inate need - Someone looking for a meal.


The high school coaches in Terrebone Parish, Louisiana, went to a coaches retreat. To save money they had to room together. No one wanted to room with Coach Boudreaux because he snores so bad. They decide it's not fair to make one of dem stay wit him the whole time so they vote to take turns. Coach Fontenot sleeps wit him and he come to breakfast next morning hair a mess, eyes all bloodshot. They say, "Man, what happen to you?" He say, "Man, that Boudreaux snore so loud, I watch him all night."

Next night, coach Guidry's turn. In the morning, same thing -- hair all standing up, eyes all bloodshot. They say, "Man, what happened to you? You look awful!" He say, "Man, no, that Boudreaux shake the roof. I watched him all night."

Third night, coach Breaux turn. Next morning he come to breakfast bright eyed and bushy tailed. "Good morning, you all." They can't believe! They say, "Man, what happened?" He say, "Well, we get ready for bed. I go and tuck Boudreaux into bed and kiss him good night. He watch me all night long."

You Are Fairly Skeptical

You're not the type of person who will fall for anything... But you do keep your mind open to all sorts of possibilities. You figure that anything could be true. After all, the world is a strange place. However, you're going to need some convincing before you can believe in aliens or reincarnation!

How Skeptical Are You?