Bugged Out

I slept pretty well last night, despite the high anxiety over the state of my poor sick laptop and ... a beetle in my room. Because I don't like unnecessary killing and avoid it whenever possible, I tried to coexist with the thing, lying in bed listening to him frantically buzzing around. He was loud. Irritatingly so. I suppose I could have willed myself into ignoring the noise, but I had visions of it landing on my head and doing whatever beetles do to their victims -- and it was a big one. Not a pretty one like ladybugs or June bugs, either. It was one of those ugly, almost prehistoric looking gray things. Do they bite? I don't know. And I didn't really want to find out. Finally, around 12:30, I couldn't stand it any more and I got up and committed beetlecide. I hated to do it, because I didn't want to get up, didn't want to have to smoosh the thing, and didn't want to have to wander a few steps all the way to the bathroom to dispose of the corpse. When the alternative is being beetle bait in the dark, however, I'm a trouper. I did what had to be done. I named the damn thing as I smooshed him, too.

I don't really want to be at work today. I have a lot on my mind, which is still weary from the weekend's techno drama. The alternative was another day cooped up at home, though, so here I am. I'm debating whether to call some local techie-type person and see what can be done for the ailing laptop. I'm also debating whether to just go on and replace it.

TWISTED LINGUISTICS

From our "freelance editor." Do you love it?!

ridiclous - Um, some dude is without, er, gonads again?

frivilous sex - The only kind of sex you can have without those gonads.
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wibsite - Why does this site exist; i.e., Wi be site?

his eyes were rebounding out of his head - The poor fellow had to move quickly to regain possession of his jilted eyes.

nero surgeon - Doctor to a particular Roman emperor.

they're libel for libelous statements - Do tell!


Boudreaux took Marie home with him and took off his shirt. Marie said, "Boudreaux, dat's some chest you have dare."

Boudreaux says, "Marie, dat's a hundred seventy pounds of dynamite."

Next he took off his pants. Marie says, "Boudreaux, dat's nice calves you have dare."

Boudreaux says, "Marie, dat's a hundred seventy pounds of dynamite."

Boudreaux quickly reached down and pulled off his underpants and Marie screamed and ran out the door.

Boudreaux put his clothes back on and ran after her. Catching her, Boudreaux said "Marie, why you ran out like dat?"

Marie said, "With all dat dynamite around, I taught it was going to explode when I saw how short da fuse was!"

Just so you know, this one really missed the mark. I can hardly be described as an extrovert, I'm not into gambling, and I'm far from rich -- or greedy. Dumshit quizzes.

You Are the Ace of Diamonds

You are a lucky person, and you always seem to find yourself surrounds by pretty, shiny things. You have a knack for success and money - though your skills can't really be learned or taught. You shine in a room, and you a have a truly sparkling personality. A true extrovert, you always are able to share a witty joke or the latest scandalous gossip. While you do have an eye for bling, you are also quite generous. A lot of wealth and luck comes your way. And you're not afraid to pass it on. A gamble you should take: Sports betting Your friends would describe you as: Captivating Your enemies would describe you as: Greedy If you lived in Vegas, you would be: A trophy wife or husband

What Playing Card Are You?