You're It

My blogging friend Leelee has tagged me. The quest is to list 5 -- and ONLY 5 -- blogs that I love. This is a hard, hard quest, because there are so many more than 5 blogs I love and read religiously. I won't tag Leelee since she tagged me (and she already knows I adore her). Man, it took me a LONG time to come up with this pared down list of some of my favorite blogs. In truth, it was pretty much a case of eenie, meenie, miney, mo... You should know that I love every single blog listed in my sidebar, and you should go and read them if you haven't already.

This one, Don't Read This Blog!, is a relatively new discovery, and I like it a lot. JL4 is alternately funny and intuitive, and always relevant.

I love this guy's wit and offbeat humor -- Assclownopolis.

Rubber Corndog is so funny she makes me wet my pants laughing probably more than anybody else I know.

Littlebird Blue is a smart and classy woman whose blog is a veritable playpen for the thinking person.

There's a little bit of everything in the Kanrei Home for Wayward Lemmings, from satire to humor to politics.

All right, that's 5, and the rules say 5. But -- y'all know how I feel about rules. They were just made to be broken, no? Everybody in the sidebar -- like Roxan and Scary Monster and Southern Writer and Pug and Liz and Steve G and Hale McKay and Miss New Orleans and MXI and so many more -- is a favorite and I love them all dearly. Go! See for yourself.
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Notes From A Thursday

~ Cho Seung-Hui, the Virginia Tech murderer -- Having seen some of the pictures and video he mailed to NBC in between his rampages, two words which best describe him come to mind: Fucking. Lunatic.

~ The average college student may not be able to discern the difference between eccentric and psychotic, but you'd think adults working in academia and health services could.

~ I'm maybe not always such a good judge of character, but I know when something feels hinky, feels off. And when it feels really creepy, you can bet I'm going to err on the side of caution.

~ I still think that what I was stewing about yesterday was, in fact, wrong and not just me, but I'm over it. 'Til next time.

~ It's my jeans day -- stone colored ones, with a pink button-down shirt. I enjoy being a girl. Do not even bother informing me that I haven't been a girl for a very long time. I won't believe you, and I could hurt you (because, after all, better you than me).

~ My dog is sick. She's been listless and uninterested in food since dinner time last night. I know that sometimes dogs, like us, just plain don't feel good, but with the recent pet food nightmare, you can't help but worry.


somewhow - Whoa, that was some kinda hot!

cowardess - Well. This is a new one on me. I can think of two possible definitions. (1) A female coward; (2) A female prison co-administrator.

psycihatric drugs - I'd like to recommend psychedelic drugs for this person. They're much more fun.

innaccuate - Baba Wawa telling somebody they're wrong.


Dear TWIT,

It has came to my attencion that every time I try to post a question about Jamie Farr to the messege boreds, yawl delete it. So maybe you could anwser my question by email. Is Jamie Farrs book selling and is it returnble? Has he done solt 40 copies? Did he bye them hisself? Can you also told me why come yawl delete every link I try to post about other boreds that is telling the strait facks about Putrid Publishing? What are you skeered of? The truth never hurt truthtellers did it? Somebody told me Betty hooks on the side to make ends meet. I don't even wanna think about who's ends shes meeting but is that true? You dont plan to make all your emploees including the arthurs do that do you? I did not sea that in my contrak. And if I did I would then need a gag claws.

Sincerely,
What About Jamie?
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Dear TWIT,

Excuse me. Hello! Is anybody working there? Yawl ain't not answered my question abowt Jamie Farr yet. If you won't give me a answer I got one word for you -- Rainbow. Boo!

Sincerely,
What About Jamie?
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Dear WAJ:

Do not take that tone with us. We will answer your questions when we are damn good and ready!As far as Jamie Farr is concerned, he is our biggest supporter. He has brought us many new customers because they figure if he was stup -- uh -- smart enough to sign with Putrid Publishing, they should too.Your use of the word Boo convinces us that you are not feeling well. We certainly hope you get out of the mental facility soon.

Sincerely,
AssHat Extraordinarie
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Dear AssHat Extra,

I don't know why you have to be so meeeeeeannnnn to me. And cuss me. All I done was aks you a question.So what your tailing me is that Jamie is on the level. OK. Thats good.Thank you yes I am out of the mental home now. I am reddy to recur my writting carrier. If Jamie can do it I can do it. I have a marketing play in my mind that I need you're help with. I want to off myself on a major holliday and then get brung back to life like a mirakle. This will make for grate pubicity. Since I know yawl hepped that guy what died 3 times with that I want too know if you will do me to. I can tell you that I went to the cematary and practised berrial but I did'nt like it so much. Is their another way?I a wait you resplonse.

Sincerely,
Dying to be famus
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Dear Dying:

We would be more than happy to assist you in your plan to "off yourself." Unfortunately, we no longer allow our authors to return from the dead. If you do this, you will be buried -- along with your book, as it is as dead as you will be -- and never return again.It's a win/win situation. You get publicity and we no longer have to pay you the ridiculously low royalties in the future.Please indicate which major holiday you would like to use. We only have two left -- Groundhog Day or Martin Luther King, Jr. Day -- all other holidays have been booked well in advance. If you would like to schedule for next year, it would require your submitting a new manuscript.Hurry and take advantage of this amazingly effective marketing ploy before our last two slots are taken! When we have received your check for $250.00, (our expenses in getting the word out), you will have fourteen days to submit your method of death and your obituary. If you have any further questions, please read this email again, it's self explanatory and if you can't figure it out, you're an idiot!

Sincerely,
The Death Squad