Thursday, March 01, 2007

Why Is That?


Last week when it was so cold, I got a hankering for a new leather jacket. It's the dead of winter, evidenced by the ice and snow still sitting in piles in parking lots. It's the season when people wear ... coats. Alas, I tried four department stores before giving up in disgust. In every store, full of shivering shoppers wearing coats, the racks were filled with -- bathing suits! And shorts and flimsy little summer tops. I love a little nothing top and a cute pair of shorts as much as the next woman, but I wanted a jacket. I never buy summer clothes when I'm wearing a coat. I realize it's a marketing trend and all the stores do it, but it seems absurd to me. In July, if I happen to want a new swimsuit, that's probably when the only things I'll be able to get is sweaters and woolens and ... my leather jacket.

We as a culture have become slaves to Madison Avenue, haven’t we? We buy what they tell us we need to make us more beautiful, more popular, more acceptable, plumper or thinner, happier and healthier and -- better smelling. And we buy it when they tell us to.

Signs are looking favorable for a funeral tomorrow for Anna Nicole Smith. Finally. The court fights over the body appear to be ended and they can now bury her. It took an obscenely long time to get to this point. And, ta-da, Florida Judge Larry Seidlin is being courted by the TV people. Imagine that. As for who the baby daddy is, I no longer care. All I know is that I feel sorry for that poor little child, regardless of which of the parties ultimately raises her. None of them strike me as prime parenting material.

Why is it that a person can know all the noises her house makes and never pays any attention to them until she's home alone in the middle of the night, at which time they start sounding like an armed invasion?

Twisted Linguistics is passing out sentences today with Words Gone Wild.

occassion: As Vern watched the horse-borne cart carrying the casket pass on by, he spontaneously recited an ode to it.

onslought: After a long day of pumping out septic tanks, Junior stepped into the shower and turned on a torrent of water to slough all the grime off.

inrceased: Ina spent the afternoon engrossed in poring through her collection of obituaries.

pyshcotherapist: Frankie cried "Pysh!" in response to his shrink's warnings and headed on out to the disco anyway.

geneous reward: As Dr. Eugene Feelgood received this year's award for his hands-on approach to gene therapy, the crowd roared, "Gene us, Gene, you genius!"

righteious: Guido thought it was a pretty right-on idea to get IOUs from all the gamblers who owed him vig.

camera angels: The better looking stars of Derrick’s new video.

persitence: With a grimace like that induced by biting into an unripe persimmon, Donald bucked up and sat on the fence for as long as he was instructed.


What planet should you rule?

You Should Rule Saturn

Saturn is a mysterious planet that can rarely be seen with the naked eye.

You are perfect to rule Saturn because like its rings, you don't always follow the rules of nature.
And like Saturn, to really be able to understand you, someone delves beyond your appearance.

You are not an easy person to befriend. However, once you enter a friendship, you'll be a friend for life.
You think slowly but deeply. You only gain great understanding after a situation has passed.

15 comments:

Kanrei said...

You Should Rule Mercury

Close to sun, Mercury has very long days - and is rarely visible to the rest of the solar system.

You are perfect to rule Mercury, because you live for the present - and can truly enjoy a day that goes on forever.
Like Mercury, you are quick and elusive. Your wit is outstanding, and you can win any verbal sparring match.

Some people see you as superficial, but in truth, you just play many roles and have many interests.
A great manipulator, you usually get what you want from people. And they're happy to give it to you.

Well, that sucks. It is pretty true I think, but still sucks.

Come to Florida- we sell swimsuits year round and there are always jackets in the stores and they are always on sale because no one needs them here.

Serena Joy said...

Well, that sucks. It is pretty true I think, but still sucks.

I don't see you that way at all but, hell, if you have a flair for manipulation, flaunt it. That sort of thing does seem to get people what they want.

Come to Florida- we sell swimsuits year round and there are always jackets in the stores and they are always on sale because no one needs them here.

Ain't that a hell of a note that I have to go to FL to buy a jacket in the winter? LOL.

Kanrei said...

Irony can be pretty ironic sometimes, huh?

Kanrei said...

Oh, the manipulator part is not totally true, although I do have my charms. I was more speaking of the quick wit and living for the present with little thought to tomorrow.

Hale McKay said...

You didn't know that you have to buy coats and jackets in JULY?

Serena Joy said...

Irony can be pretty ironic sometimes, huh?

LOL, Kan.

You didn't know that you have to buy coats and jackets in JULY?

I'm a slow learner, Mike, but I know it now.:)

Scary Monster said...

You Should Rule uranus.

Yup, Me knew that one would pop out on me.

Reading your post reminded me of an old skit on SNL. A commercial for Mel's house of Hide. The finest leather and suede jackets for only $20.
You rope it! You stun it! You skin it!

Me been watching lots of re-runs lately

Lee said...

The death of Anna Nicole Smith certainly has become a huge circus. So sad to see that happen, but I guess it was to be expected. As for that judge...I, for one, won't watch his show, if he starts one. He's just a little too much to take!

Southern Writer said...

Hey lady, how ya been? I was a "rule Saturn," too. You and I are so much alike. I almost always end up being whatever you are.

That judge belongs on TV because he sure as hell doesn't belong in a real court room. Can you say biased? Whatever happened to stoic and impartial? I was never crazy about Anna Nicole, but I do feel sorry for her now. No one should have to wait that long to be buried. I also feel for the person who's going to have to dress her. Apparently, someone she knew is making her a custom dress (and I'm sure she thought when she went, she'd still be looking good)and now they're going to have to put it on a bloated and decaying corpse. How sad.

I do not trust Stern at all. I think he has shifty eyes and have you seen this?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nujyGzyNRd8

He's about as sincere as a cheerleader who says, "No, really, I want you to be Prom Queen." Honestly, is that a smile on his face?

puerileuwaite said...

Pluto? What a gyp ...

Scary Monster said...

Pugs you ain't even a planet Ha ha ha ha, Huh Wait. What be me talkin about? Me be an arsehole, crap! Opps Me uh, oh, forget it

Serena Joy said...

Damn, Scary, I guess I'll never get a jacket if I have to stun it myself. LOL. Sorry about Uranus.

I'm not going to watch Judge Larry, either, Lee. Blubbering men make me nervous.:)

Hey, Lesia. I know, it's uncanny how much we're alike. Are you sure there's not a long-lost sister between you and Misty?:) The whole ANS spectacle is just unbelievable and no, I think that's a smirk, not a smile, on Stern's face. I haven't seen the Youtube yet (have to get on my laptop for it to work right) but it probably doesn't show Stern acting like any choir boy.

Gypped again, Pugsy? Poor baby.:(

Scary, you're not an arsehole. I'm getting you and Pugs new planets just as soon as I become Empress of the Universe

littlebirdblue said...

We as a culture have become slaves to Madison Avenue, haven’t we? We buy what they tell us we need...

I remember when 'seasonal' in the stores meant 'what you need to wear for the weather outside today'.

Then, it became 'what we want you to start buying now so you can wear it when this current weather changes'.

Now, it means 'stuff the designers are hawking for some hypothetical moment in time and space which occurs in some year ending with a different digit from this one's '.


I'm Saturn, too, but I feel a little bummed today, so could you take over this Empress of the Universe deal until I get back?

Thanks, S-J, you're a peach.

littlebirdblue said...

and, Kanrei, how can this suck?

Your wit is outstanding, and you can win any verbal sparring match.

Serena Joy said...

Littlebird, Sister Peach, I'm kind of bummed, too. I spent WAY too much time fixing the other damn computer -- but I DID fix it -- and it gave me a monstrous headache. I don't know that I can Empress today, so maybe we should appoint a regent.:)