Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Blue Velvet

Blue on black,
Tears on a river,
Push on shove,
Don't mean much,
Joker on Jack,
Match on a fire,
Cold on ice,
A dead man's touch,
Whisper on a scream,
Doesn't mean a thing.

(Kenny Wayne Shepherd, "Blue on Black")

Blue is a pretty color. I like blue. Blue isn't such a great state of mind. I love Blues. I prefer to avoid the blues.

It doesn't take a lot to make me happy. Normally, it does take a lot to make me noticeably UNhappy. There are times when nothing makes me overly happy and a little bit of nothing can set me off. Most of the time, I don’t have time to dwell on what makes me happy and what doesn’t. Whatever is, just is. There are times, though, when it can feel like every little unhappy-making thing converges at once and there's simply no reconciling them within myself. Ordinary, everyday events that are usually accepted for what they are suddenly feel untenable. It puts me in a mood. It's been like that the past couple of days. That explains (though it doesn't justify) why I went off on a client yesterday. She was wrong, though it perhaps wasn't her fault that she unknowingly (albeit unexpectedly and unannounced) invaded my space when I was in the middle of a project with a deadline. I'm sure she didn't know that as she yapped on and on, taking three thousand words to say what she could have said in fifty, my deadline was about twenty minutes away. Still, I feel pretty bad about snapping. Not bad enough to call her up and apologize, but enough to do something nice to smooth it over next time I see her. She perhaps didn't deserve the snark, and I do know I was wrong. Some of the other stuff that has converged to produce this brief burst of unhappiness damn well did deserve every ounce of scorn it garnered and I will never apologize. The fact is, I'm going to be in this snit until ... I'm not.

Luckily, I am in a much better frame of mind today. Not, perhaps, Little Mary Sunshine, but I haven't snarled, growled, or gone off on anybody. It's been more of a soft, velvety blue, kind of cushiony -- which is actually rather enjoyable in a slightly masochistic sort of way.

Maybe it can all be chalked up to a weird (and, thank God, waning) lunar cycle. Maybe the turmoil has been assimilated and doesn't feel quite as heavy. Whatever. I'm just glad the worst is over. And I’m very glad that my foul moods are far and few between.

Twisted Linguistics examines these Words Gone Wild and pronounces them incurable.

your so cleaver - This is a sly, back-door insult. The person is actually accusing someone of back-stabbing with a big-ass knife.

conplaining – Running a simple scam, which is significantly different from a more convoluted pyramid scheme.

accpect – Something that is expected and, therefore, accepted.

plagerizing – Spreading deadly disease.

work deprived from my work – Translation: you never do anything, anyway.

obsurd – If “ob” = before and “sur” = over and/or beyond, then obsurd must refer to that state immediately preceding death.

How happy are you, really?

You Are Pretty Happy

You generally have a happy, fulfilling life.
But things could be a little better, and deep down, you know it.
Maybe you need more supportive friends or a more challenging career.
Something is preventing you from being totally happy. You just need to figure out what it is!


Kanrei said...

No one can make us do anything. If you snapped at her then she had it coming. It sounded like you were obviously otherwise engaged while she tried to talk to you. People need to realize that they are not the center of everyone's universe. Take it from someone who snaps at people daily- they have it coming. I know this because it seems to be the same people who make me snap repeatedly while others have yet to ever make me snap. It is all in how they approach me. Don't sweat it.

tfg said...

Sometimes I find idle coworkers to be a hindrance at work. At least until I hung a sign stating, "If you have nothing to do, please do it elsewhere."

littlebirdblue said...

your so cleaver

Actually, a put-down, referencing a 1950s-style suburban family structure and a tendency to wear aprons.

littlebirdblue said...

***You Are Very Happy***

Your life is totally together, and you enjoy every day.
And you don't need a quiz to tell you that!
You know how to find pleasure in the little things...
And even when life isn't so great, you have a good sense of perspective.

HAH! I knew I could be happy AND cranky! VINDICATED!!!

Serena Joy said...

If you snapped at her then she had it coming.

LOL, Kan. That's pretty much what my boss (who overheard part of the exchange) said. He said he was just hoping I wouldn't bitch-slap her, since that doesn't make for real good customer relations. He'd have gotten me an expedited bail hearing, though.

I want a sign like yours, TFG.

Ah, yes, Littlebird -- the June Factor. LOL.

YES, I can confirm that it's possible to be happy and cranky at the same time. You are indeed vindicated. And I'm happier. Four pairs of new shoes is pretty good medicine.:)

Scary Monster said...

SJ don't feel to bad. Anyone who is too insensitive to notice that you are busy working; squirming and stealing glances at the clock while listening to them, probably won't have the depth to feel all that insulted or abused.

Roxan said...

Some people don't get it. I've seen her type before they will go on and on expecting you to take it, but once you give it back to them they don't like it a bit.
Don't worry about it.

Serena Joy said...

I'm good now, Scary & Roxan. I don't even feel all that bad about it any more. Next time I see her, I'll try to be decent to her -- unless she starts complaining about her kid's bill again.

Hale McKay said...

Your incident is the prime reason that after twenty years I was glad to get out of the ofice environment. Good for you, she had it coming.

A misconception - the customer is not always right. In fact most of the time they are wrong.

Liz said...

Your customer sounds like my boss! I'm sure she had it coming (my boss has but I won't give it to her!)

If she's normally a good customer then she'll appreciate you making it up to her next time. I agree with Kan that it's the same people who make me - not snap - I'm too timid - but make my back stiffen.

I hate that feeling wheni'medgy and I have no reason for it but I don't know what to do with myself. I blame my hormones. That's what they're there for.

Anonymous said...

Hi, Serena. It has been a while. I'm feeling pretty damn good at the moment and hope that you will also. People can be a pain at times, and most of the time they don't realize it. Have a great day.

puerileuwaite said...

Actually, redheads are expected to snap at least once per day. But if it REALLY bothers you, then I recommend that you "over-compensate" then next time you see her, with a LOT of hugging and gushy platitudes. People are suckers.

Serena Joy said...

Shoot, the thing is, she's not even our client. Her son is. He's a grown man, though you'd never know it judging by the jams he gets himself into. She really had no business interfering in the first place, which probably contributed greatly to my going off on her.

Hey, Steve, good to see you back.

Trust me, Pugsy, I don't feel that bad about it. I think I'd rather eat bugs than hug that woman.:)