Saturday, February 17, 2007

Yanging My Yin


Since balance in all things is highly desirable in life, I do try to mix in some Yangish activities along with the Yinly ones. This doesn't always work out so successfully, but I get credit for trying.

Sometimes I'll move the furniture without help. If I suddenly get an overwhelming sense that it absolutely must be moved, perhaps because it's exerting an evil influence over my Feng Shui, and there's nobody around to help, I'll just do it. Sometimes I throw my back out. Yang. Then I have to beg somebody to smack the kink out. Yin. Balance.

Sometimes I'll hear a weird, portentous noise in my car. I might raise the hood, pretend I know what I'm doing (in case anybody's watching) and take a look at its innards. Unless I actually see something broken and flapping in the breeze, or an actual dead animal, I'll then drive straight to the service station. I'm not going to root around in there until I actually do break something. I'm not stupid. That satisfies my Yin.

If I don't know where I am (don't even ask how frequently that happens), I will stop in a heartbeat and ask for directions. And I don't just ask and walk out (only to get lost again five minutes later). I'll make the person enunciate clearly so I can write it all down. My Yang harangues about it, but my Yin is happy.

I can lie around (not in my underwear), gaze out upon the piling up clutter and mess and wonder fairly nonchalantly when the cleaning fairies are going to show up. That's pretty Yang of me.

Any time I see a bug bigger than a gnat in the house, I'm going to yell for a Yang to come and take care of it. Yin has its privileges, and immunity from bug-killing is one of them.

Sometimes I'll stare mournfully at the stove, doing a passably good imitation of a starving orphan, hoping somebody will take the hint and ... cook. That's reasonably Yang, but it doesn't always work as well for Yins as for Yangs.

I thought this bunch of Words Gone Wild rounded up by Roxan just begged to be used and abused in a Twisted Linguistics story.

hodone
Duck tape
balck eyes
sewear
precipitouse
clished
we investigate their sudean apearance
taist
eupehmisticals
speeed

Captain Duck Tape is a super hero of precipitouse proportions. His specialty is checking out the stories of those who crawl out of the woodwork claiming to be long-lost heirs to great fortunes. His blurb in the Yellow Pages says, "We investigate their sudean apearance."

Give Captain Duck Tape a little speeed, maybe laced with a hit of hodone, and I sewear he will quack twice and follow any clue into the sewears. Of course, he keeps legions of sewears busy producing new uniforms since he tends to get so dirty and smelly.

The Captain doesn't go in much for eupehmisticals; he prefers hard science. With his state of the art crime lab, he gives those phony heirs balck eyes pretty quickly. He's clished with many gold-digging desperados. After a session in his Cli(mactic)Shed, they almost always give in and shout "Eupe!" He'll write up a report that can't be faulted, which serves to give the usurpers a taist of their own medicine. "Yes!" his satisfied clients always say. "Hodone it!"

NOW: See what happens when we stick that same story into the handy-dandy Bonsai Story Generator -- which, by the way, you, too, can play with. I sewear, it's loads of fun.

http://www.critters.org/bonsai.html

Your Bonsai Story Tree starter sentences:

Captain Duck Tape is a super-hero of hodone, and shout Eupe!

He'll write up a bit of the art crime lab, he gives those phony heirs balck eyes pretty quickly.

He's clished with a bit of sewears busy producing new uniforms since he keeps legions of those who crawl out the stories of the art crime lab, he keeps legions of the woodwork claiming to great fortunes. His blurb in and shout Eupe!

He'll write up a little speeed, maybe laced with a bit of the woodwork claiming to get so dirty and smelly.

The Captain Duck Tape is a super-hero of sewears busy producing new uniforms since he tends to be heirs to great fortunes.

His blurb in much for eupehmisticals; he gives those who crawl out the stories of the woodwork claiming to get so dirty and smelly.

The Captain doesn't go in the Yellow Pages says, We investigate their own medicine.
Yes! his satisfied clients always say. Hodone it!


Captain Duck Tape ...

(I know where I can get this published. For free!)

What's your Super Hero name?



Your Superhero Profile

Your Superhero Name is The Flying Mask
Your Superpower is X-Ray Vision
Your Weakness is Glitter
Your Weapon is Your Plasma Shotgun
Your Mode of Transportation is Hang Glider



12 comments:

Laurie said...

Loved the Yin/Yang thing! Hahahahah!

Serena Joy said...

Thanks, Laurie. All in all, I'd rather be doing Mardi Gras like you, maybe being tres Yin and collecing loads of beads.:)

Southern Writer said...

Laurie's at Mardi Gras? I'm jealous.

I do Yang stuff, like work on my own Jeep sometimes, but others, I totally use the Yin thing to my advantage. I bat my eyelashes, look up at some big strong guy, and say, "But I'm just a girl." Works every time.

Serena Joy said...

Yep, she is -- or was -- in TX, but it's apparently way too cold to enjoy much.

You're so right. We CAN do pretty much any Yang thing that comes down the pike (if we HAVE to), but why SHOULD we when we can bat long lashes, maybe flash a few other Yin wiles, and get some big strong Yang to take the load off us?:)

Hale McKay said...

That Bonsai Story Generator was a riot. I tried it on a paragraph from my post of today.

Just another fun "tool" to add to my sidebar.

That would be a handy device to fall back on in our heretofore mentioned exchanges.

I saw that "super hero" thing just yesterday, but didn't have time to play around with it.

Serena Joy said...

I know, the Bonsai could come in very handy. Glad you had so much fun with it.

Scary Monster said...

As a Monster me only plays with me yin in private, but when me is strolling in public Me lets me yang hang out and embellishes it with a swagger

Scary Monster said...

P.S. Cabo's back

Roxan said...

Being a girl does have its advantages.
As a single mom I Yang quite a bit out of necessity. Wait a minute, I did most of the Yang when I was married. I much prefer the single Yang over the Yang and the Dufus. LOL

Serena Joy said...

Scary, you're a precocious little monster today.:) I do much the same thing, though -- dewey-eyed Yin in public, swaggering around all Yang at home. But then, SOMEbody has to know what to do with the hammer and screwdriver. Like you, Roxan -- you take charge and do what has to be done because nobody else is gonna do it.

Cabo! Yay!!

Corn Dog said...

HA HA. I love the Twisted Linguistics story, of course. I always horse laugh at that.

I yang more than I yin. I blame my farm upbringing. The only thing I won't yang is checking the roof of the house. Hubbs has to do that and only because he has to climb the big ladder onto the garage and then leap from the garage to the house.

Serena Joy said...

Me and CD, workin' on the Yang Gang. So, what's your secret, CD -- how'd you get your hubbs to leap off the roof?:)