Saturday, February 24, 2007

Wharehouse Your Worries


Sometimes I worry about things I haven't done, things I need to do, and things I did do. Sometimes I wonder how much it really matters in the long run. After all, none of us are going to get out of here alive. Sometimes I fret about being too old. Other times, I wish I were older -- because everybody knows that old ladies can say pretty much anything with impunity and nobody holds against them whatever outrageous epithet comes tumbling out of their mouths. When I am old enough to do that, I'll probably croak the next day. I'm always careful what I wish for, because I know I'm going to get it sooner or later. Oftentimes, I'd have been much better off without it. I know I'd be much better off just warehousing all such worries. Worry gives you wrinkles. I think that's a scientific fact.

There's this one thing I wanted and can't seem to get. Trying to get it has made me feel like I've been to hell and back. Over the course of the past 48 hours, I've been immersed in a quest for one measly little thing. I've searched, installed, experimented, and deleted. All I wanted was one sorry snippet of code to make a thing work, and it just ain't happening. The upside of this flurry of getting nowhere is that I may have learned some new cuss words. I don't think I've ever said them before. And that's saying something. That's how frustrating it's been. In the end, I'm probably better off without the stupid code. One more thing to warehouse and forget.

For some reason, Words Gone Wild have veered off into the lewd and the lascivious the past few days. There must be something in the air. I say that because there are definitive wanton overtones in the latest crop of bad words as well. Maybe it's mating season for malapropisms. Twisted Linguistics had this to say about today's words.

load noises coming from the house
incomprehensable
oppertunity
wharehouses
thrusted upon us
definately

Rather than straight-out definitions, Twisted Linguistics said, "Let's tell a story."

Once upon a time, a group of neighbors began complaining to City Hall about load noises coming from the house on the corner, to no avail. They knew from the heavy traffic in and out that someone must definately be having some kind of great oppertunity, but it was incomprehensable to them just what was going on. Until -- until one of the neighbor men worked up the courage to knock on the door one night and find out.

When he came back out, his naturally curious wife asked him what he had seen. She also asked him why he looked so drained and wrung out.

"You don't want to know, dear," he answered.

"Oh, yes, I do," she said. "Tell me what's going on in there!"

"Well, darling," he said, "it turns out that it's a bordello."

"What?!" the wife cried.

"It's true. It's a wharehouse thrusted upon us."

"No!" the wife exclaimed incredulously.

"I'm afraid so," the man said. "There are pert zombies and vampire hookers in there -- wharewhores -- some of them with prehensable tails and fangs. They have wolves, too. The fact is, they've thrusted upon us men enough to have the incom to buy sable and defina jewels and a load of silk and satin and electronics."

"Well, I never!" the wife demurred, blushing.

"I know," said the husband. "Neither do your girlfriends, which is why the wharehos stay so busy. And now if you'll excuse me, I need to go to the ATM. There's this real cutie in there and I'd like to opper."

Whereupon the wife thrusted her purse upside his head and clubbed him inately to def.


Just for fun, how "hot" are you?


You Play it Cool

You're not in your face, smokin' hot... and it's all by design
You have a carefully crafted cool persona, leaving everyone wanting to know just a little more.




And just in case you need to get out of town in a hurry, what's your travel horoscope?


Travel Horoscope for Gemini

When you travel, you are seeking tons of energy and excitement.
You want a vacation with tons of activities, interesting people, and opportunities for spontaneity.

You should travel to:

Amsterdam
Las Vegas
Hong Kong
Tokyo
NYC

8 comments:

Roxan said...

***Travel Horoscope for Aquarius***


When you travel, you want to go someplace very few people have been.
You want a vacation that's a very unique experience - and off the beaten path.

You should travel to:

New Zealand (especially the South Island)
Russia
Alaska
Iceland
Space

Space???? DANGER! DANGER!
WILL ROBINSON!

leelee said...

Travel Horoscope for Libra

When you travel, you want to relax and laze around.
You want a vacation that doesn't demand too much of you. It's time to refuel.

You should travel to:

Napa Valley
Morocco
Ireland
The Gold Coast of Australia
Any small private island


That sounds like fun..doesn't seem to go with:

You Are Smokin' Hot

You're a terrible flirt, a sharp dresser, and a party animal.
Of course, you're totally sizzling too. And for you, being hot just comes naturally.

LOL...what am I doing home on a saturday night if I'm so much fun???

I like your blog Serena..in the immortal words of Gov Arnold...I'll Be Back

Serena Joy said...

Roxan, how'd you manage to get the cold climes? Brrrr. And -- space? God, make sure Lisa Nowak's not onboard the spaceship. LOL.

Hey, Leelee, I'm glad you stopped by. Those are some great travel destinations you got. We all tend to score pretty high on the terrible flirt scale around here, so you're in good company.:)

Hale McKay said...

It was tough, but I decided to lay off of "load noises coming from the house." It's not like it's a loaded gun of a double entendre or anything.......

As for the frequency of of the lewd and lacivious overtones, maybe it's an age thing?

Serena Joy said...

LOL, Mike. I was itching to make something of the "load noises" but couldn't think of a "tasteful" way to do it.

An age thing? Whose age? Is this
a) We're all so old that lewd & lascivious are just memories? Or
b) We're all suffering from a sudden rush of hormones?

littlebirdblue said...

***Travel Horoscope for Aquarius***


When you travel, you want to go someplace very few people have been.
You want a vacation that's a very unique experience - and off the beaten path.

You should travel to:

New Zealand (especially the South Island)
Russia
Alaska
Iceland
Space

**HELL, YEAH, UMARA NOOS IS TRAVELING TO SPACE!!!**

Lee said...

Yep...I'm a "play it cool" kinda gal, as well...I knew that, so it was interesting that the quiz and I agreed!

"Sometimes I wonder how much it really matters in the long run. After all, none of us are going to get out alive."

I came to that conclusion a few years ago, when my brother died far too young. We do tend to worry about things that we can do naught about. I remember my grandmother always saying "Feel concern, not worry."

But it's easier said than done!

Serena Joy said...

Have a good trip, Umara Noos, and wave at my home planet as you pass by.:)

I'm sorry about your brother, Lee. I lost a sister too young. It's hard.

I actually do tend not to worry very much. I'll "think" about things, but it's rare that something's able to actually send me into a worry fit.