Wednesday, February 07, 2007

"Some Cupid kills with arrows, some with traps."

~From "Much Ado About Nothing," William Shakespeare

Some days I pray for silence,
Some days I pray for soul,
Some days I just pray to the God of Sex and Drums and Rock 'N Roll.

I would do anything for love,
But I won't do that,
No, I won't do that.

~ From "I Would Do Anything For Love," Meat Loaf

Maybe I (or you) would, maybe not.Myspace Layouts

We do know that super-heated hormones in love or in lust, or something like it, can work some very weird voodoo. I mean, can we all say the name "Lisa Nowak?"
Q. Is it better to write a love note on an empty stomach or a full stomach?
A. It's better to write it on paper.

A Valentine's dictionary lesson for women. Myspace Layouts

Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet.

Airhead (er*hed) n. What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman.

Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n. You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but, he, "made the dinner."

Blonde jokes (blond joks) n. Jokes that are short so men can understand them.

Cantaloupe (kant*e*lope) n. Gotta get married in a church.

Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n. An appliance designed to eat socks.

Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n. A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms.

Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n. The last two minutes of a football game.

Exercise (ex*er*siz) v. To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.

Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list) n. What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.

Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n. Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again. See "Magician."

Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n. Similar to a black hole in space -if he goes in, he isn't coming out anytime soon.

Childbirth (child*brth) n. You get to go through 36 hours of contractions; he gets to hold your hand and say "focus...breathe...push..."

Lipstick (lip*stik) n. On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty of your mouth. On his collar, coloring only a tramp would wear!

Park (park) v./n. Before children, a verb meaning, "to go somewhere and neck." After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and slide.

Patience (pa*shens) n. The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children. See also "tranquilizers."

Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n. Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.

Valentine's Day (val*en*tinez dae) n. A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card.

Today's primer in Twisted Linguistics:

wrap sessions - Tutorials in using pretty papers and ribbons.

there shirts off - In that place, they wear no tops.

trampeled - Loose women on a rappelling expedition.

offewr suggestions - Discussions in Assassin School.

endevours - In the end, they all get eaten.

dontations - List of countries to stay out of.

Over on the Faux Shakespeare stage, we hear:

Cleo to Tony: I hate your immoral lungings at me.

- Tony & Cleo (5.2)

Is your love style passionate or compassionate? Take the quiz and find out.

You Are 85% Passionate, 15% Compassionate

You are a truly passionate person, and for you, love is a drug.
When you're in love, you lose all grip on reality. And it's a wild ride.
Although falling in love is vivid experience for you, it's sometimes *too* intense.


Kanrei said...

I see a trend forming on this site for this month and it scares me...

I think I am going to lie and tell Serena I found someone so she will not fix me up. She seems to have this love thing going this month. I wonder what caused it? =p

Serena Joy said...

She seems to have this love thing going this month. I wonder what caused it?

Hellloooo! It's almost Valentine's Day, young dolt! Listen, I was born on a Wednesday, but it wasn't yesterday. If you lie to me, I will KNOW. And I'm going to call that e-Harmony place and tell them my name is Kanrei.:)

Kanrei said...

I thought about E-Harmony, until I started thinking about what I would write there-

Interests- not talking, movies, video games, blogging, being alone.

I can hear the stampede towards my door as we speak.

What is this "Valentine's Day" of which you speak? Is there a vaccine I need to get or something?

Serena Joy said...

Shoot, I don't know what e-Harmony would make you write. I knew a woman (online) who met a man through e-Harmony and ended up marrying him. From everything I heard, he was a control freak. She finally just disappeared from all her online communities. Maybe I won't sign you up with them.

Nope, there's no vaccine for Valentine's Day. I'm afraid you just have to go along with the program. Meanwhile, I'm keeping one eye open for eligible young ladies you can game with. How's that?

Roxan said...

***You Are 43% Passionate, 57% Compassionate***

You possess an ideal balance of passion and compassion.
You definitely can get swept away and lose your head a little.
But you're rarely a fool for love!

I'm really 90% practical. Love don't pay the bills, feed the kids or do the dishes.
I'm not a romantic, never have been. Kill all chocolate bon bons!!

Serena Joy said...

I'm passionate about my bon-bons. Somebody tries to pry them out of my hands, I'll kill their ass.:)

littlebirdblue said...

***You Are 56% Passionate, 44% Compassionate***

You possess an ideal balance of passion and compassion.
You definitely can get swept away and lose your head a little.
But you're rarely a fool for love!

* * *

I let S do all the romancy-stuff. He brought me three bouquets home today from work.

And Serena J--

85% passionate? Yowsa. Do you believe in love at first site or something?

Serena Joy said...

Wow, Little Bird, THREE bouquets? That S-boy of yours is a definite keeper.

Yeah, I have experienced love at first sight. Okay, so it was chemistry at first sight and always got me in big trouble, but first sight is first sight. LOL.

puerileuwaite said...

It said that my love style was "sympathetic". I don't know what this means.

Serena Joy said...

Huh. I don't know what it means, either, Pug. Dating homely girls out of sympathy, maybe? Or -- dating vicariously, like sympathetic magic? I'm thinking this was another of those stupid dud quizzes. LOL.

Lee said...

Ummmm....I'm 73% I just have to find someone to be passionate with!