Saturday, February 10, 2007

The Kiss Or The Bird?

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(e-) Valentines have been slowly trickling into my in-box for a couple of days now. Some have made me giggle, some have had me wondering, “Huh?” Alas, none have sizzled all that much, or melted me into malleable putty, or rocked my world to its foundations. Ah, well, there’s still time.

Some Valentine’s Day Superstitions Y

One very old St. Valentine’s superstition holds that the kind of bird a girl sees on Valentine's Day predicts her future husband.

Sparrow: A poor man
Owl: She will remain a spinster
Bluebird: A happy man
Blackbird: A priest or clergyman
Crossbill: An argumentative man


Moral: Avoid birds (and the Alfred Hitchcock film of the same name) on Valentine’s Day.

• To find out how many children you’ll have, cut an apple in half. The number of seeds found inside predicts the number of children. (Could this have anything to do with that Eve thing?)
• To be awakened by a kiss on Valentine's Day is considered lucky. (Well, duh.)
• Ladies, the first guy's name you read in the paper on Valentine’s Day -- or hear on the TV or radio -- will be the name of the man you will marry. (God forbid; I think it was Dick Cheney this morning.)
• If you see a squirrel on Valentine's Day, you will marry a cheapskate who will hoard all your money. (Wouldn’t you know my back yard is full of squirrels.)
• If you see a goldfinch on Valentine's Day, you will marry a millionaire. (I don’t think I’ve ever seen one of those.)
• If you see a robin on Valentine's Day, you will marry a crime fighter. (Batman? Superman? Wonder Woman?)
• If you see a flock of doves on Valentine's Day, you will have a happy, peaceful marriage. (Now I know why I lament the lack of doves around here.)
• If you find a glove on the road on Valentine's Day, your future beloved will have the other missing glove. (And he’s probably a prison inmate.)

Words Gone Wild got into the chocolates and puked all night so they won’t be making Valentines today. Twisted Linguistics will see what they can do with them.

theymself - Someone with Multiple Personality Disorder.

consulit – Politically-neutral structure built on your home country's turf where you can go to consult a literary agent.

separames - 1960s girl group, now broken up, known for such hits as 'Baby Love' and 'You Can't Hurry Love.'

sugar-kettles in suru - Um, sweet girls in saris?

disgruntled to the starch-like shafts - Maybe unsatisfied boys, but we ain't touching that.

it shouke me - And left me all shouke up.

impossibilise - To turn a situation into such a mess there's no way in hell to resolve it.

simulat - Imitate THAT!

Are you a good kisser?

Your Kissing Technique Is: Perfect

Your kissing technique is amazing - and you know it.
You have the confidence to make the first move.
And you always seem to know what kissing style is going to work best.
Sometimes you're passionate, sometimes you're a tease. And you're always amazing!


I stand by my assertion that these quizzes lie their asses off. I kissed my dog this morning and she wasn't all that impressed.

13 comments:

Laurie said...

I better get rid of that poor little dead sparrow sticking out of the back of my house before 2/14.

rkfinnell said...

***Your Kissing Technique Is: Perfect***


Your kissing technique is amazing - and you know it.
You have the confidence to make the first move.
And you always seem to know what kissing style is going to work best.
Sometimes you're passionate, sometimes you're a tease. And you're always amazing!

Of course I am. LOL

Corn Dog said...

My little dog likes the French kiss. Blech or should I say, "Oui"? My big dog just body slammed me into the dining room table. There was a good reason I'm sure for this behavior. It has rained her for 40 days and 40 nights..oh that's another story...but it's rained many days. Finally it has stopped today and I asked the dogs if they wanted to go for a w-a-l-k. They can spell that one word. The big dog got so excited she ran back and forth through the house, only her vision is not so good and she mistook me for air and plowed into me sending me into the dining room table. For one of the few times in her life, I attempted to whip the dear. I say attempted because she wagged her tail after the swat on her tough rump and I hurt my hand. THen she jumped on me again as if "May I have more please Madame?" Insolent creature, of my heart, I might add.

Serena said...

Probably a good idea, Laurie. You saw what it said about sparrows. Seriously, I'm still shaking my head over that event. I mean, who on earth would ever expect that to happen? Poor thing.

If you say so, Roxan. I'll just have to take your word for it. LOL.

CD, my dog prefers the French method, too. I have to be really quick on the uptake to avoid it. Poor Big Dog -- probably got a little disoriented after 40 days on the Ark. My little creature of my heart at least isn't trying to French me this evening. She's sulking because I, the evil Delilah, cut some of her hair.:)

Camille Alexa said...

***Your Kissing Technique Is: Perfect***


I guess we live in a world of perfect kissing.

Here's hoping you receive the perfect valentine.

Rain said...

What a fun post you have created. I loved all the Valentine's lure.

Serena said...

I've kind of forgotten "perfect kissing," Little Bird.:(

Thank you, Rain. I hope things are going better for YOU. You've seemed so down lately, and small wonder with everything you've had going on.

Lee said...

I always get sucked into these damn quizzes! ;)

Serena said...

Me, too, Lee. So how'd you do?

Laurie (Missneworleans in the sidebar) has a fun quiz tonight, too.

astrologymemphis.blogspot.com said...

I got the perfect kisser, too, but wanted to see what it would say if I answered the questions again with all tongue and wet lips, etc. and this is what it says:

Hey, slow it down a little!
Yes, you've got some killer kissing moves...But that doesn't mean you need to show off ten minutes worth of technique in ten seconds. Take your time. A little passion goes a long way. Are You a Good Kisser?

Someone should take it the other way - the shy kisser - and see what it says.

btw, y'all, I used to have a Great Dane, and when he kissed, you'd need a towel to dry off. I can hear y'all now -- "Eeeeewwwww."

Scary Monster said...

Me refuses to take the test. Me don't want anything messin with me St. Valentines confidence level.
Me is certain tha Mrs. Monster probably saw a pteradayctyl.

puerileuwaite said...

• If you find a glove on the road on Valentine's Day, your future beloved will have the other missing glove. (And he’s probably a prison inmate.)

It could also be Michael Jackson or O.J.

***

I looked out and saw a buzzard.

Serena said...

Whoa, Lesia, you scored red-hot. LOL. I don't think I've ever been "kissed" by a Great Dane -- well, there was this Danish guy once -- so I can only imagine.

Hey, Scary, good to see you back. Hope your trek to wherever was good. You're right, you definitely don't want to scare Mrs. Scary on Valentine's Day.:)

Damn Pug, now you've scared me bad, mentioning MJ and OJ. I'd rather see the buzzard, though I have no idea what it means in relation to V-Day. I wouldn't wander off with any strange women if I were you.:)