There's not much point in posting anything today. Blogger's beset with bugs again. I've been unable to access some blogs at all. Others -- most, as a matter of fact -- are showing "error" messages in lieu of the Comment function. If one can't interact with one's friends via Comments, there goes the "community." These problems have been occurring since last night and there seems to be little in the way of helpful information about the nature of the problem in the Help forums.
Blogger, love child of the Google gods, please do something! You have a lot of bloggers onboard, none of whom are being served by these all-too-frequent outages and other problems. We write blogs for a purpose. Being locked out of them, the inability to comment on our friends' blogs and, good God almighty, some of us being denied access to our own blogs and their Comment functions, are not the purposes we had in mind.
I guess I'll just post a couple of jokes that have been passed my way this week and then sign off and go watch the snow fall. It finally came. It's a bit on the puny (if not downright consumptive) side, but what the hell -- it's snow.
THE FORTUNE TELLER
In a dark and gloomy room, the fortune teller was startled by what she saw in her crystal ball. She looked up at her customer, sitting across the table from her.
"There's no easy way to say this, so I'll just be blunt. Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year."
Visibly shaken, the woman stared at the psychic's lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands.
She took a few deep breaths to compose herself. She simply had to know.
She met the fortune teller's gaze, steadied her voice, and asked,
*
*
*
*
"Will I get away with it?"
THE CURSING NUN
A nun is sitting with her Mother Superior chatting. "I used some horrible language this week and feel absolutely terrible about it."
"When did you use this awful language?" asks the elder.
"Well, I was golfing and hit an incredible drive that looked like it was going to go over 280 yards, but it struck a phone line that was hanging over the fairway and fell straight down to the ground after going only about 100 yards."
"Is that when you swore?"
"No, Mother," says the nun. "After that, a squirrel ran out of the bushes and grabbed my ball in its mouth and began to run away."
"Is THAT when you swore?" asked the Mother Superior again.
"Well, no," says the nun. "You see, as the squirrel was running, an eagle came down out of the sky, grabbed the squirrel in his talons and began to fly away!"
"Is THAT when you swore?" asked the amazed elder nun.
"No, not yet. As the eagle carried the squirrel away in its claws, it flew near the green and the squirrel dropped my ball."
"Did you swear THEN?" asked Mother Superior, becoming quite impatient.
"No, because the ball fell on a big rock, bounced over the sand trap, rolled onto the green, and stopped about six inches from the hole."
The two nuns were silent for a moment.
Then Mother Superior sighed and said, "You missed the fucking putt, didn't you?"
Note: Blogger has now deigned to permit commenting on some sites. Unfortunately, Southern Writer and Hale McKay are among those whose Comments are still locked at this hour. This just royally sucks.
6 comments:
You missed the f------ put didn't you. Funny.
SJ ~Me actually be a golfer and have loved that joke for many years.It helped to break the ice with Me in-laws. the whole family is golf crazy.
Actually Me was happy that Blogger was out of whack. Gave me the chance to plan Me trip abroad.
I like that. Sorry blogger is messed his pants. He seems to be working for me. He has pity on my soul. lol
I'd heard the first one, but not the second. That's hysterical! I'll be laughing about that for a week. Here's a Blonde Joke my sister sent me:
Bob and his wife live in Belleville, Indiana. One winter morning while listening to the radio, they hear the announcer say, "We are going to have 4-6 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through".
Bob's wife goes out and moves her car.
A week later while they are eating breakfast, the radio announcer says,"We are expecting 6-8 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through."
Bob's wife goes out and moves her car again.
The next week they are having breakfast again, when the radio announcer says "We are expecting 8-10 inches of snow today. You must
park..........."
Just then the electric power goes out. Bob's wife is very upset, and
with a worried look on her face she says,"Honey, I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the plow can get
through?"
With love and understanding in his voice, like all men who are married to blondes exhibit, Bob says, "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time, Sweetheart."
Love the blonde joke, Lesia.
Scary, how soon do you leave? And when do we get to hear about your travel plans?
Blogger messed its pants big-time, CD. LOL.
Curious, I can post a comment to you and cannot access my own comments directly and you cannot leave a comment on my site. I have had no comments from anybody going on three days now.
I have noticed that I can post comments on those who use Haloscan.
Loved both jokes.
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