Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Dull Sword, Sharpened Keyboard

The University of Blogging

Presents to

An Honorary
Bachelor of
Self Portraiture

Majoring in


Blogging Degree

I'm still not doing New Year's Resolutions, which does not preclude a little reflection. One thing that I’ve learned over the past year is that there are an inordinate number of pretenders and poseurs in the world – rank amateurs at the art of riposte, I might add. It’s not that much fun taking on unarmed opponents -- except when it is. I am not above enjoying a battle of wits with those who have plenty of bark but no bullets. Things are perfectly fine as long as we don’t cross paths. When we do, look out. I have no compunction whatsoever about kicking ass now and taking names later.

I don’t pretend to be anything/anyone I’m not. What you see is pretty much what you get. I don’t say anything that I don’t know to be true, or that I haven't already seen stated as fact in a news article somewhere. I believe it’s better to say nothing than to say it anyway, knowing that it’s false. Likewise, if something is purely stupid, why would I call it anything else but what it is? I mean, you can put lipstick on a pig but it’s still a pig, isn’t it? If I don’t like someone or something, I’m not going to pretend that I do. Isn’t that lying?

I don’t stand much on ceremony. The more laid back and open things are, the better I like them. Even laid back and mellow, however, can be done with a little bit of √©lan and finesse – which is more than can be said for some folks.

Here’s another Warped New Year’s Resolution for you: If you’re not particularly photogenic, shoot, simply Photoshop yourself onto someone who looks better. You don’t think anybody would be ballsy enough to do that? Guess again!

Moving on, the phone man cometh and the phone man goeth. It took him only a moment to discern the nature of the problem: a squirrel had snacked on the line leading into the house. I guess that’s a hint to me that I should feed my rodents more.

Today’s Twisted Linguistics:


There’s been a lot of hulpa lately about the rich and the famous and the natorious adopying needy children. Some of them do it for the noteriaty, as though they’re the vangaurd in some sort of conustants. It gives their enimies something to esavoir, though the more insightful feel remoursfull for the kids.

How Machiavellian are you?

You Are Somewhat Machiavellian

You're not going to mow over everyone to get ahead...
But you're also powerful enough to make things happen for yourself.
You understand how the world works, even when it's an ugly place.
You just don't get ugly yourself - unless you have to!

As clear and convincing – and final – proof that these friggin’ quizzes lie, I give you Exhibit “A” –

Am I cool or uncool? [CLICK]
You are Super-Cool!
Woah! Step back - the future's so bright for you it's blinding me! You are the coolest of the cool. Everyone looks up to you as the benchmark for being coooool. The fonze was your grandfather. Any cooler and you'd freeze! WOO it's chilly in here.
Cool quizzes at


Liz said...

Good news that the repair man was able to resolve your problem so quickly - if all our problems could be so easily dealt with! But, as you say, there's always Photoshop.

Laurie said...

Stupid squirrel. I was hoping for the Ghost of Christmas past or something else creepy and seasonally relevant.

Serena Joy said...

LOL, Liz. There 'ya go. Now Photoshop's going to have to pay me a stipend for the plug.

I know, Laurie. Squirrels -- how mundane. I should have made the little varmints train harder for the Squirrel Fights; they wouldn't have had time to chew my stuff. But -- in keeping with your seasonal theme of strippers and g-strings, I found 13 $1.00 bills in my wallet today. LOL!

Corn Dog said...

I was reading and thinking, "WOW! A squirrel! Now that's really cool." I wish I could say a squirrel ate my phone line rather than the junction box on Maple leaks like a sieve when it rains. He must be a brute of a squirrel. I have a mental image of him gnawing like a wild thang threw the wires and then scampering off chattering, "My work here is done."

Serena Joy said...

It's true, Corn Dog. My squirrels are practically big enough to wear my clothes. They're like furry little Terminators. This could explain why my dog won't mess with them. Next they'll be out joyriding in my car on Friday nights. I wonder if I could afford to send them to reform school before it's too late?

Southern Writer said...

Dog, I must have missed something? Who's photoshopping themselves?

Serena Joy said...

Just some twit you've never even heard of, Lesia. I'm sure there are others neither of us has ever heard of.

Hale McKay said...

Now if you happen to see a moose hanging around ... the squirrel was none other than Rocket J. Squirrel.
....Was the repairman Boris Badenov in disguise planting a bug?

Sorry I just took a bite and ran with it.

Serena Joy said...

When I see a moose hanging around, I'm bailing. LOL.

You may be right about the identities of the squirrel and Boris the repairman. He had some busty chick with him. I think I heard him call her Natasha.:)

Serena Joy said...

I had an e-mail from Jamie Dawn saying Blogger wasn't allowing her to comment on various blogs. She asked me to post for her the comment she wanted to make:

"My degree was In Cutting & Psychotic Rambling. It is PERFECT for me!!

What you see is what you get! That sounds like a good way to go
through life. Good for you!

Happy Holidays to YOU!!!
I hope the New Year brings you much happiness."

Thanks, JD, and Happy New Year to you, too! I don't know about that Psychotic Rambling & Cutting "degree," but okey-dokey. LOL.

Jeremy Jacobs said...

She needs to go to Blog Helper. Probably a bug somewhere.

Serena Joy said...

Hi, Jeremy. I think she's doing that. Hopefully, the bug will be squashed soon.

Kanrei said...

My degree was anonymous posting. WHAT? I have way too big an online ego to ever not take full credit for my words.

Kanrei said...

You are Trendy...
You're a trendsetter.. well more of a trend follower. You have a few 'cool' friends who don't mind you hanging around for a laugh. It won't be long before you're climbing the ladder to cool status. Keep up the good work!!

That is pretty much right on. I am not very cool at all.

Serena Joy said...

Perhaps the Lemming House could build on a room to house a support group for the uncool. I'll sign up. LOL.

Southern Writer said...

Jamie Dawn! I remember her. Can you post a link to her blog? I'd like to see what she's up to.

Serena Joy said...

Lesia, I didn't even realize I didn't have a link to JD in my sidebar. Now it's there.