Snow Job

The "Snow" word is a possibility for tonight. The sky looks like it and the air feels like it. If it comes, it just might be fun.

Since there were Twisted Linguistics to be had today, as every day, I suppose we must have our little Storytime session.



The bound and gagged linguistics:



fourty
embarrassement
someoone
signig
True death
in my souls
scholaship
obsorbing
phylosopher
Chang Kai Check
artillary
ungreatful
occurrance
writted


Their story:

Once there was someoone who wrote for the tabloids, much to the embarrassement of all who knew her. Her words were like artillary, used to attack and malign friends and enemies alike. She did it for money, for favors, and just because she had nothing better to do. She snowed a lot of people during her brief but checkered career. Most people chalked it up to tabloid trash and never gave it a second thought, but many of the ungreatful people she wrote about angrily referred to the heavy-handed yellow journalist as Madame Chang Kai Check. Her real name was Liza Malign-um. When her mother named her on her birth certificate, she writted the truth -- which was more than could be said for Liza.

Liza always figured she'd die her True Death at around age fourty; she wasn't concerned about her intermittent fake deaths. She thought in her souls that she was a phylosopher when, in truth, she was simply obsorbing other peoples' phylosophy. Most people, of course, have but one soul and one belief system, but poor Liza had no sense of scholaship.

And then came the time when she writted about an unfortunate occurrance which happened to someoone she did not know. Since she did not know the person, knew nothing about the person, and did not even know whether the events about which she writted were true (because Liza never bothered to do her homework and check her facts), Liza Malign-um was in effect putting her signig on her own death warrant. She was, however, too dense and self-obsorbed to see it.

Did Liza go on to win a Pulitzer prize? We don't think so. We think that she OD'd on favors that turned out to be Trojan horses, writted herself into a hole she couldn't climb out of, choked on her lies, and finally died her True Death. Much to her chagrin, she was not missed.