Tuesday, November 28, 2006
This year, we're having a municipal Christmas tree. Last year, we had an oh-so-PC "Holiday tree." That idea went over so well that it's now gone back to the crapper -- where it belongs. Why was it done? Why, to avoid hurting the feelings of those who don't celebrate Christmas. You know, those hordes of Buddhists, Hindus, Muslims, Zoroastrians, etc., who are out doing their Christmas shopping?
For the same reason, store clerks didn't say "Merry Christmas" to shoppers last year. Instead, they shouted "Happy Holidays!" Clearly, "holiday sales" tanked and they're doing damage control (and propitiating the retail gods) this year by slipping the word "Christmas" back into the holiday shopping experience. I don't know how much sillier things can get.
If people are so opposed to Christmas festivities, perhaps they might think about moving on to some place where the local customs are more to their liking. I don't observe Kwanzaa, but I would never begrudge those who do their festive observations of their holiday. I'm not Jewish, but it would never occur to me to take offense to hearing happy people exchanging "Happy Chanukah" greetings. That's just silly.
These guys are silly, too -- these Words Gone Wild. I'm going to throw caution to the wind and say, "Happy Merry Wild and Crazy Cockeyed Twisted Linguistics!"
David verses Goliath - Biblical rhymes!
goodie too shoes - One too stupid to know trash when he sees it.
condelobre - A rum-based drink over-indulged in by the guy in the pink shirt and Liberace suit standing over by the piano. Unless you're in Mexico -- then it's a man-eating monster having many of the same characteristics as its Northern brother, Sasquatch.
imterior - The inside of a fake house.
won't gop out with me - Complaint about a (cheap) date who won't go hog wild and eat gobs of this and gops of that.
penut - A pygmy strain of a popular legume, largely inedible.
had some blond (va-voom) in a pink sweater trying to sweat talk me - Well, duh, guy. She was hot to trot and you didn't want to mess up your hair with all that icky sweat.
CAN somebody correct my sentenses - No, sorry; this person's syntax is so tense and strained that there is no salvation for it.
opointment - A missed chance for a scheduled meeting.
the remainer of they're lifetimes - We fear there's little remaining time left to their stories' lives.
charactertures - Inadvertent openings in Disney characters.