Miss Begotten is one of my pet names for myself, for Southern Gothic reasons best kept to myself. Miss Begotten tries to speak plainly, but sometimes she tends to babble -- parenthetically, of course. It's never my intention to offend (and usually that's true - except on those [maybe not so] rare occasions when I mean it very friggin' much) but it sometimes happens, so if you're unusually easily offended...
Thursday, November 09, 2006
Just For Rex...
...because I promised you a joke today.
Joe went into his proctologist's office for his first rectal exam. The doc's new nurse, Evelyn, took Joe to an examining room and told him to get undressed and have a seat until the doctor could see him. She said that he would only be a few minutes.
After putting on the gown that she gave him, Joe sat down. While waiting, he observed that there were three items on a stand next to the exam table: a tube of K-Y jelly, a rubber glove, and a beer.
When Doctor Bob finally came in, Joe said, "Look Doc, I'm a little confused. This is my first exam. I know what the K-Y is for and I know what the glove is for, but can you tell me what the BEER is for?"
At that, Doctor Bob became noticeably outraged and stormed over to the door. He flung the door open and yelled to his nurse...
"Darn it Evelyn !!!!!!!!!!! I said a BUTT LIGHT!"
Okay, it's lame, but didn't it make you laugh? Just a little?
The boss says to me around 10:00 this morning, "Do you want to work today?" I'm not a liar, so naturally I said "No!" He said, "Me, neither. Why don't we blow this popsicle stand?"
He was gone in, like, five minutes. I hung around 'til nearly 11:00 because I had some things I wanted to do. After that, I went out and messed around for a few hours. It's a perfectly beautiful day. Now that I'm home, I have some stuff of a different sort I need to do, but am not in the mood. Yeah, there's that evil "M" word again. I think I'll take the dog out instead. Shoot, I might even give her a bath when we get back. Or ... maybe we'll take a teensy little nap. Both of us look very, very tired.
Later on, we'll poke sticks at some Twisted Linguistics, maybe even color outside the lines. Roxan's already taken down a few words and I have a list of my own going. I'll have to consult the Dictionary of Defilement to figure out what they mean. When I know, you'll know.
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10 comments:
A man walks into a doctor's office. He is there because he seems to constantly emit the most foul farts and they are completely silent.
"Doc," he says, "You gotta help..there goes one...you gotta help me. There goes another. I keep farting..there goes another..I keep farting and they...there goes another...they are silent,but deadly if you get my...there goes another...if you get my meaning. You gotta help..there goes another...help me"
The doctor looks at him for five minutes and thirty farts before telling the poor man "well, you are going deaf for one thing."
Lame?
LMBO! I can see now that this is going to be Joke Day. What fun!
The very thought of it would scare it out of me, too, Steve. LOL.
Two men walk into a bar. I found this really funny because I expected the second guy to have ducked at least.
Nyuk-nyuk-nyuk. :):)
ahahahahaahha......Nothing better then joke about inserting things in anuses!
I 'cracked' a smile on that one! Thanks Serena....
Glad you cracked a smile, Rex. That Bud was for you. But, um, you're supposed to DRINK it. :)
oh.......too late....... ;(
Noooooo. You didn't. LMAO. Maybe I'd better send you another couple of Buds to help ease the pain. :)
WHAT?!? My butthole is only so big!
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