Saturday, November 11, 2006

Jiminy Cricket - For Real


I think I need some instruction in Remedial Conjuring. I've wished (repeatedly, if you must know) for the ability to call down plagues of killer locusts and rabid wombats on certain quarters. I never got any results, of course. What I do have is a plague of pesky crickets in my house.

I suppose they're looking for a warm place to spend the winter. I'm pretty sure they have no evil intentions toward me personally, but they're totally bugging me out. It seems like no matter where in the house I go, I trip over one hopping around. Naturally, the dog thinks this is great fun. She stalks them, makes a game out of out-maneuvering them, plays "cricket" with them. I'm constantly having to rescue the little varmints from her jaws of death. When I'm too late, I have to toss the mangled little corpses in the trash. I hate that.

I like crickets. I won't kill them. The bigger they are, the higher they hop, but I still manage to scoop up a few each day and put them outside -- where they belong. I can't get them all. And I'm really tired of going to draw a bath and finding a cricket in the tub staring up at me. So ... does anyone have any suggestions about how to get them out of here without harming them? Any and all spells, incantations, recipes, old wives tales, and helpful household tips will be gratefully entertained. If worse comes to worst, send guns, I guess.

15 comments:

RexZeitgiest said...

You could use a plastic cup to catch them...

I don't like crickets...Once when I was about 6, we had a year where they were all over the place....I still remember the smell of them all squished.....very icky...

In England I ate cricket covered in choclate.......tasty like choclate

Serena Joy said...

Well --- how do you get them to go into the cup? My crickets don't smell, and they don't get squished as long as they can outrun the dog. I can guarantee you one thing -- I am NOT eating them. Not even with a heavenly chocolate sauce. LOL.

Dorothy said...

LOL, I WOULDN'T EAT THEM IF MY LIFE DEPENDED ON IT...EWWWWW YUCK!!!! I hate crickets, too. Had'em a month ago, and all during summer. Now they've been replaced by mice. Guess varmints just love my house.

Southern Writer said...

Silly girl! You put the cup over them, and slide it onto something flat like a piece of cardbaord or tupperware lid, and carry them outside and let them go. It's bad luck to kill a cricket, you know. I like the little buggers, myself. The Chinese keep them in cages that look like incense burners.

The bugs that make it into my house always end up in the bathtub, too. How do they do that? I assume they're looking for water, but I never find them in a sink.

I get a particular kind most often and have no clue as to what they are. Light brown in color, they look like a cross between a cricket and a spider, sometimes the size of a grandaddy longlegs. They hop. Anyone know what they're called?

Serena Joy said...

Oh, geez Louise, Dorothy! I'll take my crickets over the mice any day. We've had them a few times and those little boogers are hell on wheels to get rid of. They're SMART, I'm telling you. Whatever you do to try and get them, they learn how to outsmart it. If I ever get them again, I'm getting a cat -- and I don't care what the dog has to say about it.:)

Serena Joy said...

So THAT'S how it's done. Thanks, Lesia. I'm not sure I own any Tupperware, but I'll find something that works. I did know it's bad luck to kill a cricket. I'm damn sure not going to do it because if my luck gets any worse, I could have plagues of snakes or warthogs.

I do NOT know how they get in the bathtub. That sucker is tall. They don't seem to be very bright crickets; they manage to get in, but they never can get out on their own.

I don't think I've ever seen the kind of bug you're describing. Are you sure it's not some kind of cricket, or maybe grasshopper? Damn, if my crickets start mating with spiders, I'm outta here.

Liz said...

I don't think you ate crickets in chocolate in England, Rex. I think you were the victim of a cruel tale told you by your parents.

RexZeitgeist said...

Um, nope......I think not Liz....but thank you......

I was 9, I knew exactly what we were aeting...

RexZeitgiest said...

Chocolate Covered Crickets
(Tastes like a Nestle Crunch bar)

Ingredients

25 adult crickets

Several squares of
semisweet chocolate


Directions
Bake the crickets at 250° until crunchy. (The time needed for crunchy perfection varies from oven to oven.) Heat the chocolate in a double boiler or microwave until melted.

Dip the dry-roasted crickets in the melted chocolate one by one, and then set the chocolate-covered crickets out to dry on a piece of wax paper.

Liz said...

Okay, Rex, you win. I have been researching crickets in chocolate and you might have eaten them in England - especially if you were a typical 9-year-old boy. So enthused am I on the subject that I will post on my own blog and take no more of Serena's space!

Serena Joy said...

Um, do you chloroform them before putting them in the oven -- to, you know, keep them from running away? The recipe sounds easy enough, but I'm not much of a cook so I do believe I'll just run out and buy myself a Nestles Crunch bar.:)

Southern Writer said...

I do NOT know how they get in the bathtub. That sucker is tall. They don't seem to be very bright crickets; they manage to get in, but they never can get out on their own.

Yeah! What's with that? It makes me wonder if they come up from the drain or fall from the sky, or something. You'd think if they can hop in, they could hop out. And you notice, it's always in the middle of the night. Did you know the average person eats eight spiders in his sleep in an average lifetime? Just one of those little fun facts to help you sleep better.

Serena Joy said...

I don't what that is, Lesia. Some kind of weird bug physics, I guess. Maybe they do come up from the drain. Although, whenever one of my crickets gets touched with a drop of water, they hop around like mad.

Did you know the average person eats eight spiders in his sleep in an average lifetime? Just one of those little fun facts to help you sleep better.

Ugh! I'm eating spiders in my sleep? No wonder I wake up some mornings looking like Morticia Addams. I may sleep sitting up tonight. LOL.

RexZeitgiest said...

Yum, chocolate covered spiders....I am booking my trip to London, right now!

Serena Joy said...

Yuckers! I know some folks will eat anything dipped in chocolate, but ... yuckers!