Monday, August 28, 2006
Epiphanies and Other Esoterica
Why is it that by the time the sphere of truth hits you in the head and knocks you for a loop, resulting in instant epiphany, it's often too late to stop some disastrous course of action that's already been set in motion?
That happened to me with my erstwhile "publisher." At the time I signed the contract, I thought it was a perfectly respectable outfit. Within days of signing, however, I had already begun to see the light about what I'd gotten myself into. My hands were tied, but the fight was on to extricate myself from a bad situation. It took some time, but I eventually got out.
Then there was this situation involving several members of several Web sites. There was this one person -- friend, buddy, and confidant to many -- who suddenly pulled up stakes and joined forces with a person dreaded, loathed, avoided, even feared by many. Had it been anyone else, everybody would have shaken their heads, picked themselves up and dusted off their britches, and that would have been the end of it. But it was THAT person, and nobody was going to sit still for that. I see now, with that famous 20/20 hindsight, that none of it mattered squat in the grand scheme of things. I'd dearly love to leave it alone and be rid of the stench forever, and I would if only everyone else would follow suit. It keeps rearing its ugly head, though. Yuck.
We often have blinding epiphanies about friends, lovers, spouses, etc., after it's already too late -- like when there's a bigass butcher knife sticking out of your back. There's probably no cure for that. We do learn from experience, after all. If you never fall, you're never going to walk. If, however, one keeps on making the same mistakes, time after time, it may be time for a good friend to sit that person down and administer a forcible epiphany. It won't hurt too much, and it'll do a world of good.
Sometimes, all it takes is a simple apology to make it all go away. Sometimes, however, you'll find yourself waiting 'til the end of time for that to happen. Epiphanies can sting, bruise, and abrade but, like childbirth, it's all worth it in the end. Meanwhile, we all need to learn how to bandage our own booboos.
Sad to say, Boulder, Colorado, authorities had an epiphany today. The DNA test results on John Mark Karr, latest suspect in the JonBenet Ramsey murder, are back. They do not match. Consequently, he won't be charged. This news just kind of leaves you shaking your head, wondering, "What the hell was he thinking?" Did he confess because he's an attention seeker? Did he do it to grab his fifteen minutes of "fame?" Did he desperately want to return to the U.S. and didn't have the plane fare from Thailand?
The Word Patrol picked up a whole slew of writers behaving badly today. Clearly, they need tinfoil adjustments. It must be hard to live in mortal fear of UFDs (Unidentified Fearsome Dictionaries). It doesn't excuse their bad form, however. They still had to be detained.
This one was caught single-handedly by Darfinition Apprentice ROKA:
speek - I believe this is referring to the act of a mother wetting her thumb to clean a spot from a child's cheek. Spit + cheek = speek.
Good collar, ROKA.
my worse nightmare - Even worse than the worst one?
fith of five - The antithesis of the Firth of Forth.
Guidlines - Words in a script which will be spoken by Guido.
i am gamed - Holy crap! Did it hurt?
quanity - A misstep in the quantification process.
momento - A request for more of a spherical little candy with a hard exterior and chewy center.
plooped - What Pluto did when they let him out to do his business.