Thursday, July 06, 2006

Word Rehab - E.R.

I thought about blogging ... something entirely else, but thought better of it when I asked myself the questions: Which one of us has some class? Which one of us has the brain? Which one of us is the grownup?

Instead, I'll stick to my original intent and cover a subject that's at least (loosely) related to writing. The topic is words. Weird words. And I've culled some extremely weird ones from some "writing sites" on the Web in the past week or so. Here they are, with my (loose - very loose) interpretations of what I think they might mean.

Knashing - Knave bashing? I have no clue.

Shotty - Combo word meaning both shitty and shoddy.

Probubly - Someone in favor of champagne, maybe?

Wirly - A wired girly.

Devistated - When someone stops visiting you at your wake.

Patoon - Small, spittoon-equipped vessel for sailing the Blue Legume.

Measily - This could be someone eaten up with measles.

...strike a cord -- What, somebody hit their rope?

Speel - What happens to someone with a speech impediment who's had a run-in with an enchantress.

Sponser - Dyslexic's pronunciation of the name of a Robert Parker character.

Nausiating - Nautical navigation while under the influence.

Nauseuas - Physical condition of said inebriated navigator.

Apologum - A toothless person in the throes of an apoplexy.

Payed - Graft slipped to someone named Ed.

Hidding - Could be a swatting, could be a flaying, or it could be a celebration in honor of someone named Hidd.

High heals - Medical rituals performed by stoned witch doctors.

Writter - A person who processes writs all day.

Perseprctive - Persephone's nether regions, accessible only by the proctologist.

Consulting with me on that one was my dear, darling friend, the Queen of the World Linguistics Wrestling Federation, the Darfinition Lady, who opines that it may be further darfined* thusly:

perseprective = per + sep + rec + tive
perseprective = personal + septic + rectal + (adjectival ending -tive)
perseprective = the state of having such poor personal hygiene that one contracts an infection where the sun don't shine

As always, pleased to help out with Words Gone Bad!

Dreem, World Linguistics Wrestling Federation, 4th Degree Black Belt
*who subscribes to the alteration of the language to allow they/them/their as neuter singular pronouns

*Darfinition is derived from the root word, "darf," which is an all-purpose word which can mean anything you want it to mean. When PublishAmerica coined it in a mass e-mailing, it meant "dwarf."

Firends - People who meet fiery ends.

Promotes your book for sells - This must refer to a PR firm which works exclusively with a gentleman named Mr. Sells.

There's plenty more where that came from, but I have to cut myself off here before I go blind. If I see one more writter definately loosing you're mind...

1 comment:

RainbowDemon1952 said...

I see a possible book here, Serena. My computer desk has dents in it from all my pounding as I laughed heartily from the soul. These are gems you have here, and what you have written to go along with them are pure genius. Scares you to wonder about the gene pool sometimes, doesn't it?
Reminds of how people have told me how they have had their dog or cat "Spaded." I always have wondered why the poor animal died and was buried and just why a vet had to do it!
Keep 'em comin, Serena, these are great!