Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Once Upon a Time

I'm supposed to be doing the "M" word today, but I have something else on my mind. Hmmm -- how to tie it in. Why don't we just go for maladroit, or perhaps malevolent, and leave it at that.

Now, then. Let's say that I'm a cow standing out in a field, minding my own business, doing what cows do, contented as can be. Then some uppity horse comes prancing by one day, stops, and tells me I'm an idiot and should be on a bun somewhere with mustard, onions, and catsup. It hurt my feelings, of course. And scared me. I have nightmares about Burger King. One of my cousins ended up there. I'm not a helpless cow, however. Stupid, but not without my wits about me. I'm getting ready to lower my head, charge, and butt the nasty horse to Kingdom Come when, lo and behold, unasked, unneeded, here comes the cavalry in the guise of the dairy maid from the farm up the road. She takes it upon herself to not only berate the horse for insulting me, but to actually whip out her cell phone and call the glue factory to come and get him. The way she explains it is, it's her duty to protect me -- even if that means protecting me from myself. Listen, maybe I didn't like the horse much. Maybe the horse insulted me. But ... the glue factory? That's a bit extreme. The problem was between the horse and me. Neither he nor I insulted the dairy maid. Nor consulted her. Was the dairy maid correct to step in and go all supernova high-handed? Was it a case of situational ethics run amok?

And what, you're probably asking, does this have to do with PublishAmerica? Not a thing, of course. Except that one could quite truthfully apply the words Maladroit and Malevolent to them.

Rant over.

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