Bad Words Rule

Bad words,
Bad words,
Whatcha gonna do?
Whatcha gonna do
When we rag on you?

And rag we will. The Word Patrol hit the streets running today and made a huge bust. So many renegades were rounded up today that they'll probably have to hold night court.


Conrats -- These are rats specially trained in Frederick, Maryland, to perpetrate cons on unsuspecting wannabe writers.

Oppurtunity -- A club promoting the unity of pretty opossums.

Emotins -- These are gatherings in which feelings run high and you're apt to hear lots of shouting, wailing, and speaking in tongues.

Intergral -- It's misspelled, but what it means is the low growling you hear within large corporations every day.

Ungerground railroad -- This is a secret cult devoted to the veneration of Felix Unger.

Their’s -- Huh?

All ready gone -- All had already dressed and left the house by the time the latecomer arrived.

Affect on -- Someone who has assumed one of his/her multiple personalities.

Strickly -- The condition in which one is left after being struck about the head with sticks too many times.

Pecentage -- We think this is something really nasty and we're not going to talk about it in public.

Publishing mongul -- This alludes specifically to one half-assed publisher in Frederick, Maryland. Come to think of it, it's pretty damned on-target.