Tuesday, August 04, 2015

Hot, It's Not

Hottie Picture

Apparently, either I’m giving off the vibes of a homely, lonely little old man – or I’m too sexy for my own good. Lately, I’ve been bombarded with emails – sometimes half a dozen a day – from what purport to be blazing hot women just panting to commit obscene acts with me. And I thought all those ads I used to get for "male enhancement" were bad.  What is this?!  It's definitely not hot.  It just makes you want to shower right away. I get this stuff at all of my email addresses, with the exception of my work email. All of my user names are clearly feminine, so I’ll be darned if I can figure out why these (maybe) women are begging to do stuff to me (or vice versa) that are completely anatomically impossible. I mean, I don’t read the emails – I send them straight to spam; the sales pitch is right there in the subject line. And I suppose it must be a sales pitch of some sort. Surely, there aren’t really hordes of women out there so desperate for some deviant sex that they’ll proposition strange women, so there must be some kind of money angle to it. Either that, or I’m giving off such hot, sexy vibes that I really need to rein it in. God, I hope it’s not “hairy lonely guy” vibes I’m emanating. I truly would have no explanation for that, not to mention that I'd be so mortified that I'd have to go into hiding.

3 comments:

Marion Lawless said...

What a nightmare! Do you have a spam filter? Thankfully, mine catches about 90% of such hotness. LOL! Sorry, couldn't resist. I get the most spam in my ancient Hotmail account I've had since 1999. I just don't have the heart to close it. The story of my life! You should see my closets. Stay cool, SJ, & pray for September to hurry on in. xo

Lee said...

Yeah...I get similar emails and they end up in the bin, too. I guess with my name some who have never met me could, and do think I'm male. Lee can be male or female...I am of the latter gender and always have been - and my surname tricks them up, too. And I certainly do not want an enlargement of an appendage I do not have...nor do I want supplies of little blue pills!!! :)

A few months ago I had some busty little chicky asking me to join her on Skype...I told her to wake up to herself and go pester someone else...not a 70 year old woman...that's me...and go and get a real life. She rapidly hightailed it back to her drawing board - or keyboard!

Serena said...

Some go to the spam filter, Marion, and some don't. The ones that don't, I just send them there manually. Geez, I'd be embarrassed to send out e-mails like that. What on earth are they thinking?! I hear you on the Hotmail account. Same reason I still have my AOL account. There's stuff stored that I "might" need someday, just like my closets and drawers. You stay cool, too, and keep the AC cranked up. xo

I know, Lee -- why on earth would they think a Lee or a Serena or a Sherry would be interested in enlarging their appendages? LOL. And these chickies that want to Skype or whatever have got to be just dumb as dirt. Have they ever thought about what kind of person might take them up on that? Sheesh. They probably deserve whatever they get.:)