The irrepressible Pug, who writes the Why Oh Why Must It Be This Way? blog, was brave enough to take on two topics at once: When Gnomes Go Bad and Why I'll Never Go To Another Prom. Here's what he came up with.
When Gnomes Go Bad
Tis Sort of Sad
It's Not So Much Because I Like Them
Because I don't
But Rather I
Begin To Cry
And Piss And Moan And Stagger Alone
Why Live, I Won't
One Got Away
Tchotchke Statement Again Betrayed
Now She Says: Don't
I'll Never Go To Another Prom
Somehow, Someway I'll Carry On
It's Quite Unfortunate, You See
Proms I Thought, Were Quite For Me
You See I Had No Problem Finding Dates
The Problem Was, Avoiding Hate
A Disturbing Discovery For This Pug
Who Had But One Ambition: To Cut The Rug
Oh Why Oh Why Couldn't I
Be Just Be Another Anonymous Guy
Oh Snap! Dismayed Instead, Came To Find
A Furry Target For The Jealous Kind
Susie So Pure Was The First To Go
Why Karma Chose Her, I Still Do Not Know
Of Course It Was I Who Led Her To Ruin
Cursed Ex-Lover Collision Path, That Was My Doin'
My Chaste Doe Date Fell Right Where She Stood
Riddled By Bullets, Instead Of Wood
Next Me Futile, Fateful, Not Born To Run
Just When Did Mary Kay LeTourneau Procure A Gun
Ne'er Shall There Be Any Proms, Roofies, Romance
No Limos, Wallet Condoms, Nor Tearaway Pants
Now One Step Beyond With King Of Pop And Elvis
Eternally Both Grinding And Guarding My Pelvis
I'm sure you'll agree with me that Pugsley is a poet of great (well, some) renown. Thank you, Pugsley! This was a great start to Guest Posts.
Next Thursday, we'll be entertained by Roxan, who's written a to-die-for Zombie story -- if Zombies can be said to die.
And for the rest of you, please grab a topic off the right sidebar, write a guest post with it, and zap it off to me. Hopefully, we'll have enough Thursday Guest Posts to entertain us at least through Armageddon.
Speaking of which, we're in the third day of non-stop rain here, compliments of Hurricane Ida. She's now gone from a tropical storm to a Nor'easter and we're getting wicked wind along with the deluge.
We must never fail to pay homage to blasfomy if we want to avoid hurled lightning bolts, so here are a few TWISTED LINGUISTICS Words Gone Wild to play with. Define them in style, please.