Thursday, November 12, 2009

Fun With Twisted Linguistics and ... Guest Posts!

You've waited for it, and I know you thought it would never get here. But guess what? Our very first Thursday Guest Post is at long last here and going live right now.

The irrepressible Pug, who writes the
Why Oh Why Must It Be This Way? blog, was brave enough to take on two topics at once: When Gnomes Go Bad and Why I'll Never Go To Another Prom. Here's what he came up with.



When Gnomes Go Bad

When Gnomes Go Bad
Tis Sort of Sad
It's Not So Much Because I Like Them

Because I don't

But Rather I
Begin To Cry
And Piss And Moan And Stagger Alone

Why Live, I Won't

Because Astray
One Got Away
Tchotchke Statement Again Betrayed

Now She Says: Don't


***

Why I'll Never Go To Another Prom

I'll Never Go To Another Prom
Somehow, Someway I'll Carry On
It's Quite Unfortunate, You See
Proms I Thought, Were Quite For Me

You See I Had No Problem Finding Dates
The Problem Was, Avoiding Hate
A Disturbing Discovery For This Pug
Who Had But One Ambition: To Cut The Rug

Oh Why Oh Why Couldn't I
Be Just Be Another Anonymous Guy
Oh Snap! Dismayed Instead, Came To Find
A Furry Target For The Jealous Kind

Susie So Pure Was The First To Go
Why Karma Chose Her, I Still Do Not Know
Of Course It Was I Who Led Her To Ruin
Cursed Ex-Lover Collision Path, That Was My Doin'

My Chaste Doe Date Fell Right Where She Stood
Riddled By Bullets, Instead Of Wood
Next Me Futile, Fateful, Not Born To Run
Just When Did Mary Kay LeTourneau Procure A Gun

Ne'er Shall There Be Any Proms, Roofies, Romance
No Limos, Wallet Condoms, Nor Tearaway Pants
Now One Step Beyond With King Of Pop And Elvis
Eternally Both Grinding And Guarding My Pelvis


I'm sure you'll agree with me that Pugsley is a poet of great (well, some) renown. Thank you, Pugsley! This was a great start to Guest Posts.

Next Thursday, we'll be entertained by Roxan, who's written a to-die-for Zombie story -- if Zombies can be said to die.

And for the rest of you, please grab a topic off the right sidebar, write a guest post with it, and zap it off to me. Hopefully, we'll have enough Thursday Guest Posts to entertain us at least through Armageddon.

Speaking of which, we're in the third day of non-stop rain here, compliments of Hurricane Ida. She's now gone from a tropical storm to a Nor'easter and we're getting wicked wind along with the deluge.

We must never fail to pay homage to blasfomy if we want to avoid hurled lightning bolts, so here are a few
TWISTED LINGUISTICS Words Gone Wild to play with. Define them in style, please.

learend
fugured
idiout
nobody highering
Ethopia
grotesk
illing

21 comments:

G-Man said...

So I have another week to procrastiate eh?
YAY!!
I only know one of those words Sherry..
If you've been banged in your butt by a French person, you've been...
Fugured!
(Thats so grotesk)
:P

/t. said...

the pug
is a poet?!?

the things we learn blogging!

WELL, HAPPY THURSDAY, SERENA JOY <3

× × ×

/t.

Serena said...

Yes, Galen, that is grotesk. I have to get that illing image out of my head right now. Who learend you that?!;)

It was quite eye-opening, yes, /t.? We DO learn something new in blogdom every day. Happy Thursday!;)

puerileuwaite said...

Thank you Serena. That was fun!

Serena said...

No, thank YOU, Pugsley. You made it happen and I'm delighted you participated.:)

VE said...

Excellent. You know how I have an affinity for gnomes...

Serena said...

I know you do, VE. I love the little fellas, too.;)

Skunkfeathers said...

learend: guys watching girls walk with a tell-tale look of "yowza!"

fugured: knows she's fugly...

idiout: run out of dolts...

nobody highering: only bad dubbage available...bummer, dudes..

Ethopia: land of skinny anestesiologists (I slaughtered that spelling)

grotesk: something morphing in the leftover section of my 'frig

illing: a sick insurance company..

Serena said...

As always, you've done a great job, Skunk.:)

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Serena said...

Hey, Anonymous, how about STF out of here with your stupid links? We're all getting enough sex, thank you very much. And if we need more, I think we can probably take care of it without your help.:(

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Serena said...

I am so sick and damn tired of you and your stupid spam links, Anonymous. I have your IP number, idiot, and while there's no way to block you from a Blogger site, I AM reporting to your ISP. I hope you'll enjoy that, and I hope they yank your service so we can all enjoy our blogs a little more.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.