Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Leapin' Linguistics

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Have you ever wondered about people who will spend several dollars apiece on small bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: N-A-I-V-E.

God spelled backwards is D-O-G. My dog has no problem whatsoever with that. Evil spelled backwards is L-I-V-E and devil is L-I-V-E-D. That sort of creeps me out.

If the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs," what does that make the Tennessee Titans?

If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea, does that mean that one person enjoys it?

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a race car is not called a racist?

Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety-one?

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

If FedEx and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

As income tax time approaches, did you ever notice when you put the two words "The" and "IRS" together, it spells "THEIRS"?

And now, a word from TWISTED LINGUISTICS. If you can define these blasfomys, you're one up on me.

media hipe
firnished
proprieter
demonination
losing there sposers
assilum
fuked up
groving with Kid Rock

12 comments:

Skunkfeathers said...

It's all part of a governing, edu-class conspiracy on cruciverbal control of the lower edu-forms in society. I think.

Fuked up: Ed best be looking over his shoulder...

Hale McKay said...

Serena,

FINALLY - the concluding chapter of "Echoes of Eddie" has been posted (Monday 9-8).

As For "Verbicidal Tendencies" - In hopes of keeping it afloat solo - I'm just posting every other day.
(Last week Tues & Thur; this week Mon,Wed, and Fri: etc.

I love these posts about word oddities of our convoluted language.

Bilbo said...

I have to admit defeat with today's collection of blasfomys, but I have to wonder if exorcists are dispossessed.

Sling said...

Why do we park in a driveway,and drive on a parkway?..

Shouldn't The Air and Space Museum be empty?..

Demonination- well,for this nation,that would be George W. Bush.

Serena Joy said...

Well, it sounds right to me, Skunk. I'm sure your thinking is clearer than mine -- which is all fuked up.:)

I'm sure that even every other day is tough at times, Mike. What you've done since you've been back looks great to me, though. I'll go read "Eddie." I looked for it the other night but it wasn't up yet.:)

LOL, Bilbo. I think that's exactly what exorcists are. In fact, I think it's a job requirement.:)

Excellent observations, Sling. Especially that last one.:)

VE said...

But then again I'd be incensed if I was sitting there minding my own business and some body came up and starting burning incense...

Serena Joy said...

Yeah, VE, I can see how that would make you beside yourself. But then, if one is beside oneself, who's behind and in front of one?:-)

Charles said...

Uh, my high-school mascot was the Titans. Just because the football team lost every game for years, doesn't mean I'm not proud of them (the fact that I'm not proud of them would mean that.)

If a pig wears lipstick, does that mean McCain can complain? Does his taking a comment like that mean that he thinks Palin is a pig?

I always thought that 11 should be eleventeen.

THEIRS. Didn't a wise man once say, "Render upto Caesar, that which is Caesar's?"

media hipe - telling it like it aint.
firnished - everything's made of a softwood.
proprieter - someone who consumes fluid moving screws made of rye.
demonination - Just can't beat Sling's definition, I'll back that one.
losing there sposers - the entertainers who didn't get the Jello commercial job.
assilum - former clown school student
fuked up - a little bit shy of 3 sheets to the wind.
groving with Kid Rock - Sesame Street guest appearance of a guy who should learn how to pull up his pants.

G-Man said...

Sherry...?
11 is NOT onety-one?

Chuck Pliskin? I thought you was dead.
( sorry Charles, I just saw 'Escape From NY' )

Fuked up...Drunk in Amsterdam!

xoxbgxox

Serena Joy said...

Interesting points to ponder, Charles. And thanks for some very excellent definitions.:)

11 really isn't, G. But if you really, really want it to be, then it "could" be. LOL @ your fuked up.:-)

Charles said...

unto Caesar, rather.

Mona said...

media hipe : When Media Shoots from the hip

firnished : Foreign investors, recruited and niched

proprieter : An instrument ( meter(?)) that evaluates your property

demonination : A nation facing recession

losing there sposers : that is where the silly posers lose!

assilum : applying alum to ass ( maybe to get rid of the acne)

fuked up : a miserably failed nuking operation

groving with Kid Rock : A river ( moving along with small rocks)

English IS a dicey language! :D
I love the leaping linguistics here! :D