Friday, January 11, 2008

Miss's Mailbox


Dear Miss Begotten,
Can you name fifty ways to leave your lover?
- Twinkle Toes

Dear Twinkle,
No, I cannot. I know of only one sure-fire way: "Bye, honey, I'll see you later." I mean, isn't "leave your lover" a bit of an oxymoron? Why would anyone want to leave a perfectly good lover? Because, I mean, if they're out of favor, you're not still calling them lovers, right? I note that the song isn't entitled "50 Ways to Leave a Jerk (or Jerkette)." If I had a lover I liked well enough, I wouldn't want to be listing ways to leave him. I can list lots of ways to leave a butthead, though. Well, no, scratch that. You only need one: pack up and be gone.

Dear Miss Begotten,
Does size matter?
- No Name

Dear NN,
Are you kidding? Of course, it does! A small piece of cake has way fewer calories than a piece the size of Utah. An 8-ounce Diet Coke is better for your figure than a 32-ounce regular Coke. Homemade lasagna has about a million more calories than a little Lean Cuisine lasagna. A small bowl of ice cream will look much better on your hips than a serving bowl full. And you don't feel as guilty about the toppings when it's in a little bowl. A box of candy has a cool quadrillion more calories and grams of fat than a single candy bar. So yeah, it matters.

Dear Miss Begotten,
What do you sleep in?
- Curious

Dear Curious,
My bed. Next?

Oh. There is no next. Miss had only those three inquiries this week. Honey, that is sad. If you'd like to pick Miss Begotten's brain (or what's left of it) next week, e-mail your questions in.

We have Words Gone Wild today. Of course, we do. And they're all yours to do with as you will. Define them, write stories or poems with them -- whatever.

devellop
orgasam
scandles
give her a brake
railroad tressel
unseasonally
shipping magnet
aithor

GIGO Grammar:
I've have good experiences
They don't have no excuse
Her and me went

16 comments:

Kanrei said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kanrei said...

devellop- a horse solving problems while running fast

orgasam- Sex with a Samuel or Samantha

scandles- The new candy from Washington DC

give her a brake- she needs help stopping

railroad tressel- a strong railroad trestle

unseasonally- Unreasonably seasonal

shipping magnet- I am stuck

aithor- The Greek G-d of authors

/t. said...

aithor:

charles, i think

¤ ¤ ¤
&
a great weekend to lovely serena joy!

/t.

VE said...

Did I just read you trying to compare a small diet Coke to a large regular Coke on the basis of size? That comparison isn't apples to apples is it?

Did I just read you trying to compare a Lean Cuisine entre to a home made entre on the basis of size? That comparison isn't apples to apples is it?

I've said it before...you have excellent management potential!

Happy insignificant post-holiday weekend!

Mona said...

I guess another way to leave your lover who like you say if is still the lover & has not become a jerk/ jerkette , is by dying.

Dear Miss Begotten... when are you getting a luminous globe...I need to know where my son is going to go for his studies... ( Groan! the stress is killing me!)

Devellop..turning lopsided while trying to delve into..

orgasam..Jam made of organisms

scandles: A candle whose back & front are covered by two eses...

give her a brake : Britney Spears

unseasonally: Not an ally of the season

Shipping magnet: exporting magnets

aithor.: "Yes Thor"

Serena Joy said...

Those are some rockin' definitions today, Kan. Good job!:)

By jove, I think you've nailed aithor, /t. Wishing you a lovely weekend as well!:)

Aye, perhaps it is apples to apples, VE. But the good news is, maybe I'm going to manage you someday.:-) Happy insignificant post-holiday weekend to you, too!

Yes, Mona, I do believe dying would solve the problem once and for all. Unless... Nah, we ain't going there.:) Miss will gaze into her luminous ball and see what she can come up with for you. I LOVE your definitions today. You are definitely on top of things even while traveling.:)

Little Wing said...

great answers from your readers!
So funny, our Mona is!!!!

Serena Joy said...

I know, Little Wing. I can always count on my readers, and Mona does indeed have a wickedly delightful sense of humor.:)

G-Man said...

I usually NEVER do this shit, but here goes..

Devellop..To remove someones vellop!

Orgasam..A sexual climax in a Dr Seusse story..

Scandles...The only story-line on Fox News!

Give her a brake..Said the auto parts manager to his hard of hearing clerk...

Railroad Tressel...
A very Big wrestler in the WWE!

Unseasonally...
When most Hill-Billys go deer hunting..

Shipping Magnet..They seem to be attracted to Opera Diva's and ex- First Ladies!

Aithor..A giant bruise on person with a very bad lisp!

Whew Serena, that was brutal..xoxoxbgxoxoxox

Serena Joy said...

Maybe it was a little brutal, Galen, but you did it. And it didn't even hurt, did it? Much. And see? You did a good job. w00t!
xoxo

Jack K. said...

Kanrei gave me an idea for another take on railroad tressel

railroad tressel - weak railroad trestle, if it were a strong one it would be spelled trussel.

Thanks kanrei.

Camille Alexa said...

devellop: Satan's trollop

orgasam: Orga Sam? He lives down the street.

scandles: 1)trade lingo for scented candles

give her a brake: ...because she's got a lead foot.

railroad tressel: makes for a very hairy situation

unseasonally: of very bland food

shipping magnet: experimental locomotion being developed by the Navy.

aithor: someone who ain't an author, that's for sure.

Camille Alexa said...

scandles- The new candy from Washington DC

Heh heh.

Serena Joy said...

You did a magnificent job of defining, Camille. {{{applause}}}

Roxan said...

orgasam- The robot with "special" attachments.

Serena Joy said...

I can see that, Roxan. The concept, I mean. I sincerely hope I never actually "see" that. LOL.