Wednesday, January 16, 2008

If It's Wednesday, Meme Me

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Meme Rules: You may answer the questions in the Comment box (in which case, please copy in the questions and supply the answers so readers won't have to go back to the post to see the questions), or you may port the meme to your blog and tag your readers if you wish.

I had a novel idea for today's meme. See what you think.

If you were a novel:

(a) What well-known author would have written you?
(b) How many pages would you be?
(c) What would your title be?
(d) What genre would you be?
(e) From what point of view would you be written?
(f) Would you be illustrated?
(g) What would your cover art be?
(h) Give your novel a short synopsis/back cover blurb, please.
(i) Would your protagonist be a sympathetic character?
(j) How would you end?
(k) Would you have an epilogue?

TWISTED LINGUISTICS will attempt to do something novel with these Words Gone Wild. They all came from one thread on -- what else? -- UFOs. God help us. You guys have been doing such a great job with wayward words, why don't you be the Court of Twisted Linguistics today?

scientiffic
belifes
comprehinsion
gullable
seemless
govenrment
outher space

Some of the stranger Google search terms I've seen this week:
Shakespearean bullshit
escape-proof casket
dead feet
how to write a tell-all book
nail fungus
stiletto fetish

21 comments:

G-Man said...

a)Dr Seuss
b)10-15
c)G-Man I Am
d)Kiddy-Lit
e)A silly one
f)Yes...but in black and white
g)A large fellow on a Motorcycle
h)Boy is born..Boy gets Motorcycle..Boy never grows up..
I)Yes...would illicit MUCH sympathy
j)riding off into the Sunset..
k)Yes...I would meet a beautiful Redhead, kidnap her, and live happily ever after..

have a Great Day..
xoxoxox

rkfinnell said...

Rolling eyes at g-man LOL

A. I wrote it and I SHOULD be famous.
b. Around 300 pages.
c. Kickshaw Candies-of course!
d. dark fantasy
e. "third person omniscient"
f. No illustrations.
g. Child holding a bag of candy
dripping with blood.
h. Sometimes it takes magic.
i. Yes
j. With unanswered questions-for
the sequel.
k. Yes to start the sequel.

Unknown said...

scientiffic- terrific science

belifes- the belief in life

gullable – belief in seagulls

seemless – seems like less

outher space – the other outer space.


As far as the book question, I would be a pamphlet.

Serena said...

I can tell you had some fun with that, Galen.:-) If you ever write that (k) epilogue, make sure you have a pink sequined helmet for her.xoxo

Roxan, how did I know you'd become your own novel?:)

Pamphlets are good, Kan. And what would yours be about? Hey, you ACED those wayward words. LOL.

rkfinnell said...

From what I'm gathering on the ABNA forum from those who have read the semi-finalist excerpt-a whole lotta crap got selected.
BTW I put my excerpt on my blog if anyone wants to read it.

Little Wing said...

Our g-man must have overlooked the 'stiletto fetish'!

Unknown said...

Over looked it? He was the one doing the Google search I bet =P. Wonder why he likes knives so much though...

Serena said...

LOL, Kan. I was wondering the same thing.:-)

What say you, G? You weren't searching for more, were you?:)

I think he got too excited about his novel, LW, and missed it.:)

I never had a good feeling about that competition, anyway, Roxan. IMO, you'll be better off getting back to querying agents & publishers.

Ed & Jeanne said...

(a) What well-known author would have written you? JK Rowling
(b) How many pages would you be? 1285 across 7 volumes
(c) What would your title be? Many:
VE and the Kidney Stone
VE and Chest of Sucrets
VE and the Prisoner of Restaroom
VE and the Goblet of Pepto
VE and the Half Bloody Fingerprints
VE and and the Deathly Hollering
(d) What genre would you be?
Biographical fantasy
(e) From what point of view would you be written?
From the front I hope!
(f) Would you be illustrated?
No, I don't like tattoo's
(g) What would your cover art be?
Gnomes
(h) Give your novel a short synopsis/back cover blurb, please.
Nonsense is as nonsense does
(i) Would your protagonist be a sympathetic character?
I hate coughing for those protagonists...you should be sympathetic
(j) How would you end? I'd fade off into a mini-series
(k) Would you have an epilogue?
I might have had an episode...

Serena said...

Great concept for a series, VE. I've had that Goblet of Pepto, and it ain't pretty. But what I really want to read is "VE & The Deathly Hollering." I'd pay top dollar for that one.:) I like your cover art idea because, as you know, I have a thing for gnomes. And I love your blurb. LMAO at (k).:-)

G-Man said...

Hey, Hey...
What in the Wide Wide World of Sports is going on here?
You people have got me pegged all wrong...
Well, I guess thats not entirely true...But you have to admit that Serena Joy sure knows a thing or three about the Style and bargaindom of Footwear..
Fancy Footwear I might add..
She's a Seasonal Sensation when it comes to foot display..
I can't say enough about the beautiful tootsies of Sherry..Naked or Shod she's THE most stylish woman in the greater Tri-County Area!!!!
...And It's an honor to be witness to such Fashion Iconery..Hehehe
(I just made up that word)

And another thing...
Pink Helmet???
xoxoxbgxoxoxox

puerileuwaite said...

a) What well-known author would have written you?

Ernest Hemmingway (he already has in fact, if you look through my archives).

***

(b) How many pages would you be?

Let's call them "leaves". I don't like to use that "other" word, since you never know when there's a horny Republican Senator around.

***

(c) What would your title be?

"Think it CAN'T happen to you? Venereal Disease: A Case Study"

***

(d) What genre would you be?

"Goth / Self-Help Fusion"

***

(e) From what point of view would you be written?

As told by Larry King.

***

(f) Would you be illustrated?

Yes, but it has to be "au naturale" in front of a high school art class.

***

(g) What would your cover art be?

It would be a postule that, when viewed from one angle is intact; from another angle it's bursting".

***

(h) Give your novel a short synopsis/back cover blurb, please.

"Puerileuwaite was warned by everybody that taking the town redhead to the Junior Prom was a bad idea. By the time the music was over, so was his shot at a normal life."

***

(i) Would your protagonist be a sympathetic character?

We may have to settle for pathetic.

***

(j) How would you end?

A mute Indian smothers me with a pillow, and then smashes a window to flee the room. The second-to-final scene is a slow fadeout from the exterior of the Motel-6 where the crime takes place. The final scene is the next morning in the Meeting Room, where it slowly becomes apparent that The Pug will not be showing up to do his presentation on hotel safety.

***

(k) Would you have an epilogue?

Is that where they apply hot wax to your sensitive posterior region and rip out the hairs? Because if it is, then yes.

Charles said...

(a) What well-known author would have written you? It would be a collaboration of Dave Barry and John Steinbeck.
(b) How many pages would you be? 666.
(c) What would your title be? Grapes of Whine.
(d) What genre would you be? Black Humor.
(e) From what point of view would you be written? Combo of first and third person.
(f) Would you be illustrated? Uh, I'm drawing a blank.
(g) What would your cover art be? Red and green grapes in a dish, with a glass of wine spilling towards a pristine white tablecloth but captured just before contact.
(h) Give your novel a short synopsis/back cover blurb, please. A laughable tragedy about boy meets world, world beats him to submission.
(i) Would your protagonist be a sympathetic character? I don't know, am I?
(j) How would you end? Satisfied.
(k) Would you have an epilogue? Yes, others would have learned lessons that I could never grasp.
________________________________
scientiffic - overly large graphics files about science.
belifes - delaying multiple individuals' period before death.
comprehinsion - whatever it is, I think Miss Piggy must have said it.
gullable - capable of being a soaring fish eating crap machine.
seemless - incapable of being perceived or comprehended.
govenrment - What GWB does to democracy.
outher space - where King Arther's father was.

Charles said...

I spelled Arthur wrong, duh, and Firefox didn't catch it.

Serena said...

And there you have it -- the very mention of feet/footware sets Galen to waxing poetic. And that's a mondo cool word you made up. We'll see how well it holds up next time I venture out in grubby sweats and sneakers.:-) And yes, if a girl is going to get kidnapped and there's a bike involved, she must be provided with a stylish helmet. It's in The Rules.:-)

I can see that your novel is going to be a real blockbuster, Puggy. Which, believe me, is much preferable to a ballbuster. But I digress... I don't blame you for wishing to change "pages" to "leaves." There are delicate sensibilities involved because, you're right, you never know where horny politicos may be lurking. Let me know when your release date is. I'll buy the first copy and you can sign it for me.:-)

Charles, I'm going to want to read your book, too. And, of course, you will sign it for me. I have SUCH a fondness for black humor, and your title promises plenty of that.

Once again, you've done a fine job with definitions. And I just love it that you threw in a Miss Piggyism.:-)

Charles said...

The word comprehinsion reminds me of the name, "Henson" as in Jim Henson, creator of Miss Piggy.

Charles said...

Unless I'm wrong, that is. In that case it doesn't remind me of anything. :)

Serena said...

I believe you're correct, Charles.:)

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Serena said...

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Charles said...

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