Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Tuesday Titters

You'll probably need to click the image to enlarge (or right-click it and then click 'open in new window') so you can read it.

And then guess what? I'd like it if you'd write me a short rhyming poem on the theme of "a good wife."

And now, if you've finished picking yourself up off the floor, we'll move on to TWISTED LINGUISTICS and titter over these Words Gone Wild.

guidleine - Guido's moll, Guidleine.

scenerio - Back story of a bad play.

ettiquite - Manners that are not quite up to par. In fact, they have Emily Post rolling in her grave.

under seige - I'm not sure what this is, but I do know that it's not a situation that calls for rallying troops and hording supplies.

invloved - Love affair gone bad.

quite waring - Quite -- contentious? Beats me.

gorgeus - A comely Gorgon vamp.

Some of the more amusing Google search terms I've seen in my stats this week:

pants up to the neck
tong twisters
a oster path
hallelujah voodoo
naked yelling
gospel mascara
twisted balls
juicy mermaid
angry sex


Anonymous said...

would be funny
if it weren't so true

a rhyming poem, eh... ok...

a good wife
never creates strife
by taking the life
of her man with a knife

she is light & happy & gay
and likes to work without pay
and especially at 'play'
so that her man will stay

in return it must be said
when he takes back to bed
for her ribbons to be shed
he will never bite her head

ah, the good old days

marital bliss


Serena Joy said...

Love your poem, /t., which neatly pares marital bliss down to two important rules: No knifing and no biting. LOL.:)

P.S. -- LL & Ruela perhaps need to read it before their, er, nuptials.:-)

Kanrei said...

Neil Young already wrote the best anyone could.

My life is changing
in so many ways
I don't know who
to trust anymore
There's a shadow running
thru my days
Like a beggar going
from door to door.

I was thinking that
maybe I'd get a maid
Find a place nearby
for her to stay.
Just someone
to keep my house clean,
Fix my meals and go away.

A maid. A man needs a maid.
A maid.

It's hard to make that change
When life and love
turns strange.
And old.

To give a love,
you gotta live a love.
To live a love,
you gotta be "part of"
When will I see you again?

A while ago somewhere
I don't know when
I was watching
a movie with a friend.
I fell in love with the actress.
She was playing a part
that I could understand.

A maid. A man needs a maid.
A maid.

When will I see you again?


Mystery Science Theater 3000 has had a field day with those old 50's "proper behavior" films. They crack me up, but my mom insists they were shown to her in school seriously.

Charles said...

Some would say the world is rife
with many who would be the good wife.
Me, I know that marriage is full of strife.
So I say, "Never again in my life."

You have some real weirdos visiting you, plus you're getting folks from searches, too.

Charles said...

Hmmm, looks like you've been blog spammed.

Serena Joy said...

A maid, Kan? A MAID?! Aiiieee!:)

I'm not admitting that I'm old enough to be your mother, but your mother is correct. I saw some of those films as well. They could well be the reason why Home Ec was the only class I ever flunked.:)

LOL, Charles. Yes, I do have some strange visitors -- and not just the LA stalker chick. Cute poem, and one which carries a lesson.:)

The spam is no more. Oddly enough, I can't pin down where it came from. The spammer somehow escaped my radar. Of course, I've only looked at 2 radar screens. I'll look at the others and see if I can find him.

VE said...

You gotta have a Christmas theme to the poem though, even if it isn’t about Christmas at all…Here goes:

On the first day of marriage my new wife gave to me
A seven course dinner for the family

On the second day of marriage my new wife gave to me
A greeting at the door in her formal dress and jewelry

On the third day of marriage my new wife gave to me
A spotless looking home that was clutter free

On the fourth day of marriage my new wife gave to me
A nice roaring fire to rest the bones made weary

On the fifth day of marriage my new wife gave to me
Four fresh haircuts
Three new outfits
Two piece suits
And as quiet as a zombie

On the sixth day of marriage my new wife gave to me
Six different expressions of happy

On the seventh day of marriage my new wife gave to me
A pleasing desire that showed sincerity

On the eighth day of marriage my new wife gave to me
Time of converse while listening intently

On the ninth day of marriage my new wife gave to me
An evening out with the guys to feel free

On the tenth day of marriage my new wife gave to me
A home with peace and order full of tranquility

On the eleventh day of marriage my new wife gave to me
A pillow on my chair to make me comfy

On the twelth day of marriage my new wife gave to me
An alimony request with a divorce decree
Twelve monthly payments
To address Eleven unfavorably statements
Ten years to foot the bill
Nine beers in the fridge still
Eight hours of me cleaning is a crime
Seven days of overtime
Six tequillas without the lime
Four lost deals
Three instant meals
Two towels left for me
And a lesson learned on marriage reality

Romulus Crowe said...

No poem from me, I overstretched my limited abilities last time.

However, at the risk of getting lynched by avery woman in range, here's a related video...


Okay, hard hat on, doors barricaded. I'm ready.

Charles said...

I suspect that took you a while to do, but you now have my admiration and respect. I now think you're a genius. A hoodwinked genius, but a genius.

Serena Joy said...

VE, I am in awe of your poetic abilities. What a great job! {{{applause}}}

RC, I'm going to put on my hard hat (and combat boots) and go look. LOL!:)

G-Man said...

You have a good wife Mister,
If your wife greets you at the door.
An open Bud and glass in hand,
And even offers to pour.

A good wife hugs and kisses you.
Upon you she makes NO demands,
She can get down on her knees, and lower your zipper,
WITHOUT any hands!!

A good wife cooks your favorite dinner,
It's always hot and ready to eat,
Afterwards she removes your shoes,
And rubs your achy feet.

A good wife never doubt's your word,
She believes in all your jive
Like that hickey you said was a spider bite.
And you wear Chanel #5.

A good wife.........

Serena Joy said...

So, Galen, um, THIS is what men dream about? Sheesh. I do believe a Golden Retriever could be trained to do everything but the cooking. They can, however, fetch takeout. That is a unique excuse for hickies. My first husband told me he had a skin disease.:-)

G-Man said...

You find a Golden Retriever to pour me a beer???
And we'll take that act on the road..

A good wife is elegant
And dresses very well.
She has crimson hair
and pretty toes..
"Lavender" is her smell!!
She is clever, smart and witty.
Her smile lights up the room.
I would sell my soul to the Devil,
The be that Lady's Groom!

G-Man said...

...To be that Lady's Groom!..Sorry xox

puerileuwaite said...

A Good Wife

A good wife would never
refuse to give you pleasure
and never try to measure
would let you bury treasure

A good wife understands
that you also have your friends
cleans on knees and on her hands
and would shop for your Depends

A good wife never frets
about that woman that you met
during a sojourn to Tibet
who is a former Penthouse Pet

Serena Joy said...

That's more like it, Galen.:) What shall we name the Golden Retriever?

Well, shoot, Puggy, I might have married you, but the Depends killed the deal.:-)