Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Tuesday Tidbits

Did you know that:

- Elvis Presley made only one television commercial - an ad for "Southern Maid Doughnuts" that ran in 1954

- Honey is the only food that does not spoil. Honey found in the tombs of Egyptian pharaohs has been tasted by archaeologists and found edible

- A dentist invented the Electric Chair

- A chameleon's tongue is twice the length of its body

Some of the stranger Google search words that have turned up on my sites recently:

McTavish is dead
message boob
glue stick sex
hot girls+short skirts
olga 81 (I know why that search term turned up)
nighttime zombie sex

I don't know who McTavish is, and I really, really don't want to know about the glue stick. Or the message thingy.

I forgot Dressup Monday again yesterday, so I suppose we must do it today. I have on black and white houndstooth pants, long-sleeved white knit top, black velvet jacket with ruffled hem, and black suede flats. And you?

For our Tuesday Poetry Presentation, I'd like limericks on the topic of (your choice of daytime or nighttime) zombie sex, please. Why do I already know you guys can do this?

Why does Blogger like to block access sometimes with their snippy little message informing you that "your cookie functionality has been disabled?" What moron would disable cookies, with the full knowledge that you couldn't get into your sites if you did that? Duh. They tell me that, whereupon I go to my "history" and access my dashboard that way, no problemo. I think they just get bored and like to mess with us sometimes.

TWISTED LINGUISTICS has this lineup of Words Gone Wild today. The floor is open to you today for definitions. Go wild.

relax you're among fiends
what dribble he's spouting


Charles said...

"Did you know[...]" No, yes, no, yes.

Searches to get to your blog are almost as weird as mine, "handsomest korean man", and for a little while, my blog was the #1 page out of over twenty-three thousand.

T, shorts, boxers, all gray. Should have asked me yesterday when I was dressed up for an interview.

There once was a witch with an ex,
Used poisons, potions and a hex,
She loved his love making skill,
So she finished him with a kill,
Now the relationship's about Zombie sex.

I'm cherry picking the easy ones today.
relax you're among fiends - Sitting in church.
presetned - Ned Beatty waiting for the director's "Action!"
Presiential - Almost presidential, but with something missing e.g. GWB.
galant - Not a drone, but a female social insect that usually lives in a burrow.

VE said...

Comments on your "Did you Knows":
1. That's appropriate he did it for doughnuts...prepping him for his Vegas years
2. What about Twinkies? I think they could be a contender.
3. Well...they're trained in instilling pain
4. So was Gene Simmons

Ok, then the lymerick...

Thinking about life with the ex
And building our disinterest vortex
The nights were the worst
Just bring in the Hertz
After our obligatory zombie sex

Charles said...

Zombie sex after the soul's sent to hell,
Struck him as totally swell,
Now she's not willing,
and his drinkings more like swilling,
To take his mind off of the smell.

Anonymous said...

What could someone be thinking when they tried honey that was that old?
Those Arkies are a weird lot anyway.lol

Serena Joy said...

You're on a roll today, Charles -- great definitions and TWO limericks. Yeah! Man, I wish it was shorts weather here. I guess mine won't come back out 'til around April.

I've heard that about Gene Simmons, VE. LOL. Superb limerick! I need to get busy and transfer some more twisted poetry to the other blog.:)

I don't think I'd try that myself, TC, but you said it -- arkies are a lot unto themselves.:)

Charles said...

I was in the hole for last Saturday, so I figured it was time to pay up.

Roxan said...

Sing it like an Irish ditty!

Mc Tavish is dead
and his brother don't know it
His brother is dead
and Mc Tavish don't know it.
Both of them dead
and in the same bed
and neither one knows that the other is dead.

G-Man said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
G-Man said...

Sorry, I fucked it up!!

OK, here goes..

There once was a Haitian named Fred.
That died years ago, it is said.
But by the light of the Moon,
All the local girls swoon,
Because his Pecker is far from 'undead'!!

hehehehe..You Like?

Serena Joy said...

You may consider your account paid up, Charles. In spades.:)

Cool ditty, Roxan. So, like, are the Brothers McTavish Irish zombies? Do we want to know why they're in bed with each other?:-)

Yes, Galen, I like. It made me laugh -- loud and hard. Which is all I ask. I notice you didn't post Fred's phone number. Is there a reason for that?:-)

G-Man said...

If you are in need of any Zombie-Like 'action'.
Please call 1-800-926-3350 ext386..OK?

Serena Joy said...

But that's not one of those 900 numbers, Galen. Are you sure Fred will answer?:)

P.S. - Can zombies even talk?:-)

P.P.S. - You know somebody's going to call that number. Look out!

Little Lamb said...

I didn't know most of that. In fact the only thing I knew was that honey doesn't go bad, or so they say.

Serena Joy said...

I never knew that about honey, Lamby. I've thrown out honey before because I thought it was "old."

Anonymous said...

i called
the 800 number,
but all i got was
zombie-dead action...

"your call is very important to us... please hold forever... or press 1 now to shoot a bolt of lightening through your head and finally end this pain..."

i just hung up

and i want my money back

raive: ranting of an uninformed person (see my comments above)


Serena Joy said...

Oh, poor /t. I'm sorry you got gypped on the Zombie Sex Hotline.:-)

Great catch on raive. I totally missed it. The rantings of the naive defines it perfectly!

Hale McKay said...

A dead Rusian named Romanov,
Drooling like the dog of Pavlov,
..Said to the she-zombie Alexia,
.."I was gonna have sex with ya,
But that part has fallen off."

Serena Joy said...

I love it, Mike, and I am LMAO!:-)