Friday, October 26, 2007

Miss's Mailbox


Dear Miss Begotten,
Say you have to get to sleep eventually, and all you do is toss and turn till say ... 3 AM. It's too late to take any medication, what would YOU suggest that you could do to help you get some much needed relief?
-G-man

Dear G-mon,
There are several methods Miss tries on those nights when she can't sleep. Counting sheep is not one of them. Counting involves thinking, and thinking is not conducive to sleep. Hot milk nauseates me, so that's out. Have you checked out the state of late-night network TV? That's a pretty good soporific. I'm usually knocked out by the time the 2:00 A.M. dose of drivel is half over. Some nights, a book will do it, especially if it's very good and I really, really want to know what happens and keep telling myself, "Just one more chapter" until I fall sound asleep. Talking is a good sleep remedy, too. Sometimes, someone will text me to see if I'm up and then we'll get on the phone and talk 'til one of us puts the other one to sleep. Some nights you might have two or three late-night conversations, and all that talk makes a terrific sleep tonic that can really put you out. I mean, there's only so much you can talk about, am I right? Depending on who you're talking to, of course, because some people do have more to discuss than others. Some discussions can have the opposite effect, so you have to watch that.

I'm sure there are all kinds of relaxation techniques, some of which are more relaxing than others, but I can't really think of what they are right now; nothing I want to talk about, anyway. And what puts YOU to sleep?


Dear Miss Begotten,
What other self-sustaining exothermic RedOx reactions are there that don't involve the element oxygen besides sodium burning in chlorine gas?
-Charles

Dear Charles,
I wasn't certain what a hot redox was until I looked it up. I was having visions of a big, hairy beast of burden (which can certainly produce some heat and gas), except that I've never seen a red one. Now that I know what it is, I'm seeing all kinds of possibilities. Suppose one took a problematic personage and doused them in sodium, then immersed them in chlorine while depriving them of oxygen? That might produce some fairly spectacular atomic mutations, no? I wish I still had the chemistry set I got for Christmas when I was 12. I never did understand why my mother took it upon herself to disappear it. Well, maybe I do understand. Perhaps she was just a wee bit prescient. I sure would have liked to have had the means to produce a good exothermic reaction the other day.

Miss is aware of one or two other types of self-sustaining exothermic reactions that can occur when conditions are ideal -- but she's not allowed to speak of them in public.

Oh, by the way, I don't know the answer to your original question. I might if I had done better in Chemistry. But I didn't.


Dear Miss Begotten,
If a bird fell in love with a fish, where would they live? Who keeps the fin and who loses its wing?
-Top cat

Dear TC,
Hmmm. Well, in Genjo-koan we learn that a fish swims in the ocean, and no matter how far it swims there is no end to the water. A bird flies in the sky, and no matter how far it flies there is no end to the air. However, the fish and the bird have never left their elements. When their activity is large, their field is large. When their need is small, their field is small. Thus, each of them totally covers its full range, and each of them totally experiences its realm. If the bird leaves the air it will die at once. If the fish leaves the water it will die at once.

Similarly, if the bird dives from the air into the fish's element, chances are pretty good that the fish will end up down the bird's gullet. The bird would, in fact, love the fish. The bird would not, of course, keep the fish's fin as a trophy, because the whole fish would be lunch. While it would be unnatural for them to ever attempt to live together, because society would never accept it, the fish's essence would live on in the belly of the bird. And the bird would be happy. And keep its wings.


Dear Miss Begotten,
So what do you think? Is GW dragging America into another losing war, with yet another country?
-Charles

Dear Charles,
Miss be thinkin' that GW love playing War: The Role-Playing Game just a mite too much. He thinks Iran looks mighty pretty and colorful on the map, so he will grab that game piece next. His attention, such as it is, will then be drawn to other pretty shapes on the map. We must hope that he has an up to date map because if he's playing with a beautifully drawn antique one, he could go after Mesopotamia and Persia next, having no idea that he's already captured Mesopotamia. When he tires of playing with maps and avatars, he could start playing the name game and launch quests for countries with names he has fun pronouncing -- places like Turkey. Israel. Uzbekistan. Albania. Scotland. In the summer, he may try to capture Greenland; in the winter, Morocco. Frankly, the possibilities are endless. Let us all try to hold out a little hope that his handlers will keep him away from picture books and maps until after the 2008 election.

In the TWISTED LINGUISTICS game, we observe the following Words Gone Wild.

resraunts - Runts go there to rant and then sleep it off, but one never eats there.

Let's see what you all can do with these:

avitar
decied
navagation

We have some Maimed Spelling and Mutilated Grammar today as well:

you might here from me
can't wait tell I get mine
those who have went out of their way


My Voodoo Rain is still coming down. There's a full moon tonight; be careful out there.

My Goblin name is:
Goblin Name: Lesedla

Get yours here.

12 comments:

Top cat said...

I guess you're right, they could never live together, it's physically impossible.
There is one possibility I feel could be a perfect solution.
Not all birds eat fish so let's say it's a non fish eating bird.
They could meet at a certain location everyday, the bird could fly over the fish close to the water and the fish could be near the surface.
They could swerve to and fro making love in their minds and enjoy each other's company hour after hour until the bird tired and needed to return home.
Never touching but being one in mind..ahhhh what a love story.

*thank God Bush isn't in major league baseball anymore.:)

Roxan said...

My goblin name is Waladla.
Ewww.

Serena Joy said...

Oh, my goodness, TC, what a sweet love story you've conceived between the bird and the fish. I can see where that would work very well and the two could live happily after. Each would keep all its parts, too.

Yeah, really, about Bush and baseball. LOL.

I don't know, Roxan -- I'm kind of enjoying saying that. The syllables roll effortlessly off the tongue into one mellifluous word. Yeah. I like it.:)

Charles said...

I'm thinking he's some sort of megalomaniac, he just doesn't seem to be satisfied with letting others live their lives as most of us are. He doesn't mind that he's responsible for the lives that are lost, the casualties that are being inflicted, the children he's depriving of parents. I don't know that he's even capable of thinking of others. I can't believe that there are people who actually voted for him. We're no safer than before, probably less so now that there is such a blatant show of force in the Mideast, for something that has been proven to have been wrong. Have you seen this?

Roxan said...

I've never like named that started with W.

Charles said...

avitar- Black sticky petroleum based material applied before feathers to make a person resemble an avian.
decied- arranged in groups of ten.
navagation- negotiating through the native lands of the Southwestern US in a Ford SUV.

Goblin Name: Kadridd
I could get behind that name, I can think of cads I'd like to get rid of.

/t. said...

avitar:
crud that prevents
operation of ones AVIs

decied:
reversing the process that results in an airplane wing becoming deiced

navagation,
also, nava'gation:
short form for 'naval irrigation' -- the practise of wetting ships prior to first launch

george bush who?

/t.

Sling said...

decied...Reversing the process by which something has been cieded...silly girl.

Serena Joy said...

Your assessment of GWB sounds about right to me, Charles. I hadn't seen the material you linked to. Very interesting. And probably entirely too accurate for comfort.

Good definitions! Cool goblin name, too.

P.S. -- Now I think I see what the linking was about. I've had to delete a lot of spam comments today.

Your definitions are brilliant, too, /t. I see you have a military theme going on. I like. Naval irrigation/wetting ships -- is that what I think it is? LOL.

Sling, that sounds like a perfect definition to me. I AM a silly girl, because I didn't even see it.:)

Camille Alexa said...

Goblin Name: Tarekia. I like yours better. And nothing beat those Star Wars names.

G-Man said...

Dear Miss Begotten, Thank you so much for your advice on insomnia.
I'll have to try a couple of them..
Question:
Dear Miss Begotten...Do opposites really attract?
And if they do, is'nt that dangerous?
I love your blog Serena!
xoxox

Serena Joy said...

I don't know, Camille -- I think YOURS sounds better.

Thanks for stopping by, G-man.