Friday, October 12, 2007

Miss's Mailbox

Dear Miss Begotten,
Is there a side to Serena Joy that people do NOT see every day? A 'Wild' side?

Dear G,
Of course, there are sides of Serena Joy that are not seen every day -- or at any other time by anyone now living. Nobody (usually!) sees her in rollers. Nobody sees her yell at idiots on the highway. Nobody watches her balance her checkbook. Nobody would dare peep in on her when her computer is acting up. Nobody sees her having conniption fits about writer's block. Not a soul ever gets to witness her prodigious procrastination. Nope. I mean, who would want to? There are places where angels fear to tread...

Does she have a wild side, you ask? What do you think? There are certainly those who would swear that when the phase of the moon is just right, she's a complete and raving wild woman -- a real Troglodyte chick. So, don't you think wild speculation is oftentimes much more interesting, not to mention attractive, than the reality?

Dear Miss Begotten,
If you could put time in a bottle, the first thing you'd like to do ... is?

Dear TC,
The first thing I'd do is stick a worm in the bottle with it and let it ferment a while and then see if it can give SeƱor Cuervo a run for his money. Failing that, I might wash my hair with it -- and see if it forestalls gray hairs. I might rub it on my face -- and see if it prevents wrinkles. I might sleep with it under my pillow at night -- and discover whether time travel and/or dreamwalks are possible. If I could find no other use for it, I would gussy up the bottle with some paint and sparklies and ribbons, because time must be appeased, and simply sit back and admire it. If I'm nice to it and give it pretty things, perhaps it will be kind to me.

Dear Miss Begotten,
Do you believe in aliens?

Dear, um, Spock, is it?
I can't prove with any mathematical certainty that they exist. By now, you know why. By the same token, I can't prove that they don't exist. I will tell you this: I've seen some damned alien stuff in my time. And it didn't even come from outer space.

Dear Miss Begotten,
Do you believe everything you see?

Dear Blinded,
Honey, I was born on a Thursday, but it wasn't yesterday. Until I can prove it to my own satisfaction, I believe nothing I hear and only a teensy fraction of what I see. I'm not saying that people who are too trusting deserve their fates, but please! Blind Faith was a fine rock group but is not much of a life plan. Blinded by the Light was a pretty good song, but blinded by lights, smoke, and mirrors never did anybody's eyesight any good. I think it was Ronald Reagan (caveat: I am NOT a Republican!) who said, "Trust but verify." That's sound advice, even from a Republican.

If you have something you'd like to ask Miss Begotten, e-mail your question or leave it in a comment.

TWISTED LINGUISTICS is tormenting the following Words Gone Wild today.

qouted - Someone's home shopping habit exposed.

honist - A stranger than normal fetish.

Jelous - A gelatinous mass.

color scheem - Cons perpetrated by traveling painters.

vessel virgins - I do believe this is an oxymoron.

Halloween Horoscope for Gemini

Halloween is a huge party for you, except you're never really sure what to go as.
No matter what, your costume will make people's eyes pop out of their heads.

Costume suggestions: A sexy cop or a naughty animal

Signature Halloween candy: Twizzlers


Roxan said...

***Halloween Horoscope for Aquarius***

Halloween is your chance to bring your favorite futuristic world to life.
In fact, people are often asking "What exactly *are* you?"

Costume suggestions: Anyone from Star Wars or the Matrix

Signature Halloween candy: Gummy eyeballs

Scary movie you should celebrate Halloween with: Cube

Maybe Matrix, but certainly not Star Wars. I have no intention of sticking cinnamon buns on my head. LMAO

Cube-Slice and dice movie!

Kanrei said...

June Geminis should get our own Horoscope. Where is the fun is sharing one with those....May people?

The Twizzlers was 100% correct. As a child, that was candy number one for me until the day I found Hot Tamales.

Charles said...

I think G wanted to hear about the good wild side, not the evil wild side of the SJ.

"I believe nothing I hear and only a teensy fraction of what I see." So you're saying you've seen Bigfoot.

Mmmm. Twizzlers... gahaaalllaaah. I've eaten so much at a time, certain unmentionable functions were colored.

Hey Kan, is that May people or Maybe people?

For Halloween, I think the scariest animal I could go as is a human. Isn't interesting that the scariest zombie movies and such the monsters are not very smart? I think maybe a GWB getup would scare most anybody.

Kanrei said...

It was "May people" for those wicked Geminis who were born just a tad bit too soon.

I am a bike helmet and name tag away from my costume. I am seriously going to try for a memeber of the LDS this year....maybe tie-dye my white short-sleeved shirt and go as "A Member of the LDS on LSD". I like that more and more.

Roxan said...

I admit it. I hate Twizzlers. I love licorice though and the only licorice is black. There's no such thing as red licorice! I've never had a gummy eyeball. I don't know what eyeball tastes like
Other candies I hate-Pez they taste like soap and those Necco Wafers. Marzipan is pretty gross too.

Just incase you need a nostalgic candy fix

Charles said...

Hey Kan, you can carry a small blue covered book, only title it "The Book of Moron" hehe. Gee, I'm not trying to insult anyone, is that insulting?

I can get behind the liking black licorice, but nobody calls Twizzlers licorice. Actually you could have it any color you wanted, the flavor (licorice) is actually anise seed, and pure anise seed oil is clear. Marzipan, though, how dare you say such things about marzipan? Almond paste goodness throughout. MMMMMM.

Roxan said...

I do dare and I hate marzipan. Although I think the artistic properties makes it worthwhile from a creative stand.

In North America, the UK, Australia and New Zealand, there is also a product known as red licorice, which is extruded in a way to resemble licorice, but is made with strawberry or cherry flavorings rather than liquorice. More recently similar products have been introduced in a wider variety of flavors including apple, mango, blackcurrant, watermelon and strawberry, among others. Twizzlers (by Hersheys) and Red Vines are the most well known product brands of this type in the United States, in Australia these are produced by Darrell Lea and several other companies. However, it should be noted that while the common name for this candy has now become "red liquorice", or often simply "liquorice", this candy has little connection to actual liquorice in composition or flavor. Consequently, the term "black liquorice" (or "black licorice") has become a retronym in these countries.
I rest my case.

Kanrei said...

I am not sure what Marzipan is, but it is a funny looking word and very fun to say.

Charles said...

Take a look at this, Wikipedia: Marzipan. Its the Wikipedia article on marzipan. If you get a chance to try it, I would urge you to, I think its delicious, I could eat it until I got as big as a house. Consider that anything they put in wedding cakes is probably something lots of folk like or will like. Be warned though, its very rich.

Serena Joy said...

Cube, slice, and dice, Roxan? Ugh!!

Now, Kan. Sometimes you just have to share. Just because I'm a May people doesn't mean you shouldn't play nice with me.:)

I think G probably knows the difference, Charles.:-) I haven't seen Big Foot ... but I'd like to. I agree, GWB is about as scary as it gets. Much more so than any old zombie.:)

I don't like licorice OR Twizzlers. I'm not crazy about Marzipan, either; too sweet.

Little Lamb said...

I, too, yell at idiots while driving.

Serena Joy said...

I guess it doesn't really help, Lamby -- but it makes us FEEL better.:)

G-Man said...

How can you Hate Marzipan?...
Well, I Do know people that hate Chocolate, so anything is possible!!

Dear Miss Begotten..
Realistically...Which is worse, the actual consumption of a fabulous Banana Split with All of your favorite toppings...OR
The angst of denying yourself such a treat because it's NoT good for you?
Have a great week-end...Serena the Red!!
You'd better watch out, the Berserkers are on the prowl!!

Serena Joy said...

Oh, I don't hate marzipan, G. I'm just not crazy about it. A small bite of it will do.

Serena ain't scared of no Berserkers.:)

Lee said...

I'm not sure how many sides I have...I think I have and white...sometimes, and only sometimes when I'm pressed, perhaps there's a tinge of grey.

Serena Joy said...

I think it takes at least two to be well rounded, Lee -- with plenty of gray area filler.:)

Anonymous said...

I think that was one of your "full moon" answers miss begotten.
It confused me and made my neck itch and then I had a nasty furball but in spite of all that I enjoyed your reply.:)

Serena Joy said...

Miss is often influenced by full moons -- and moons past. Sorry about that furball.:-)

Camille Alexa said...

vessel virgins:
Bottles on the assembly line which have yet to be filled with soda pop. Or beer? That's one time-honored way to lose virginal status: filled with beer.

Serena Joy said...

LOL, Camille. Excellent work!:)