Friday, July 27, 2007

Miss's Mailbox

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I get mail from time to time containing impertinent questions that make me laugh (or cuss, depending). Some of them are worthy of paraphrasing and airing in public. If ever you have a question of your own, send it along. Maybe Miss will answer it.


Dear Miss Begotten,
How long should it take for a relationship to transition from Point A to over-the-moon Point B?
- Just Wondering

Dear Wondering,
I have no idea. I don't do Math. Or Astronomy.

Dear Miss Begotten,
Why are you always smiling?
- Curious

Dear Nosy,
So my normal scowl won't get me mistaken for a hyena and shot.

Dear Miss Begotten,
Is it possible to love 1,012 men (or women) at the same time?
- Love Muffin

Dear Muffy,
Ha! And they call me nuts.

Dear Miss Begotten,
Could you ever use another boy-toy?
- Just a Boy

Oh boy, dear Boy,
Nice old ladies can never have too many. Send me your résumé and audition tape.

Dear Miss Begotten,
Are you insane?
- Had to Ask

Dear Inquisitor,
I sincerely hope so! It would explain a lot.

Dear Miss Begotten,
What will you take up when you get tired of blogging?
- A Reader

Dear Read This,
Snake-handling.

Dear Miss Begotten,
Do you ever run out of ideas for post topics?
- Bumfuddled

Dear Bum,
Never! Hence today's, er, post.

Miss is in the mood to define a few Words Gone Wild for Twisted Linguistics today.

realy - The obverse of fakey.

oppinion - To hold an agent hostage and pinion him down until he gives you his take on your synopsis.

mauscript - First draft of a Hawaiian novel.

nowing - Why the bird can't fly.


If you feel like guffawing over dry-rotted undies, go see Corn Dog.

12 comments:

Charles said...

Dear Miss Begotten,
Is forgiveness divine, or folly?
 - Guilty of Much

snowelf said...

"Dear Miss Begotten,
What will you take up when you get tired of blogging?
- A Reader

Dear Read This,
Snake-handling."

That one is my favorite!! You go Serena!!

--snow

Camille Alexa said...

What? No "Hey M. Begotten! Claim your new Chevy Truck (tm) today! Just take our brief survey to see if you qualify!"

That's all I get, but addressed to L. Blue.

Serena Joy said...

Mr. Guilty Charles, Miss will answer your question in the next Mailbox, probably next Fri. when I'm too lazy to write a post again. LOL.

Snakes tickle your funny bone, do they, Miss Snow? LOL.

I rarely see my spam, L. Blue, since the filters vanish it first. Of those that do slip through, I never get any cool truck offers. It's usually for drugs, like the latest one, "soft Cialis." Excuse me, but wouldn't soft Cialis rather defeat its purpose?:-)

Corn Dog said...

LOL, thanks for the link up to my rotting panties story. I need some visitors.

Serena Joy said...

You're welcome, Corn Dog. Your tale of the disintegrating drawers had me howling out loud. Mine have never turned to powder right on my behind, but I have pulled them out of the drawer and found evaporated elastic.:-)

G-Man said...

Dear Miss Begotten,
Snake Handling?
.......(never mind)

Dear Miss Begotten,
"When will I find LOVE"?

Dear Miss Begotten,
"Who put the Bomp,
in the Bomp sha Bomp ba Domp"?

...."And while your answering that one...Who put the Ram in the Rama Lama Ding Dong"?

xomxxmsxxsxxsjxxmssjxoxo

Serena Joy said...

Dear Mr. G, Miss will attempt to answer your questions same time, next week. It'll take at least that much research on the Bomp-Rama-Lama stuff.:)

Yes, as soon as I get the speaking in tongues thing down pat, then oh glory, I'm going to see about the snakes. That'll be different.:-)
xoxbdxoxglxox

Lee said...

I'm definitely misbegotten, I'm sure!

Serena Joy said...

Somehow, I doubt that, Lee.:-)

puerileuwaite said...

Would you at least consider Pug Wrangling?

Serena Joy said...

Miss will consider anything that's not illegal in most states.:-)