Miss Begotten is one of my pet names for myself, for Southern Gothic reasons best kept to myself. Miss Begotten tries to speak plainly, but sometimes she tends to babble -- parenthetically, of course. It's never my intention to offend (and usually that's true - except on those [maybe not so] rare occasions when I mean it very friggin' much) but it sometimes happens, so if you're unusually easily offended...
Friday, July 27, 2007
Miss's Mailbox
I get mail from time to time containing impertinent questions that make me laugh (or cuss, depending). Some of them are worthy of paraphrasing and airing in public. If ever you have a question of your own, send it along. Maybe Miss will answer it.
Dear Miss Begotten,
How long should it take for a relationship to transition from Point A to over-the-moon Point B?
- Just Wondering
Dear Wondering,
I have no idea. I don't do Math. Or Astronomy.
Dear Miss Begotten,
Why are you always smiling?
- Curious
Dear Nosy,
So my normal scowl won't get me mistaken for a hyena and shot.
Dear Miss Begotten,
Is it possible to love 1,012 men (or women) at the same time?
- Love Muffin
Dear Muffy,
Ha! And they call me nuts.
Dear Miss Begotten,
Could you ever use another boy-toy?
- Just a Boy
Oh boy, dear Boy,
Nice old ladies can never have too many. Send me your résumé and audition tape.
Dear Miss Begotten,
Are you insane?
- Had to Ask
Dear Inquisitor,
I sincerely hope so! It would explain a lot.
Dear Miss Begotten,
What will you take up when you get tired of blogging?
- A Reader
Dear Read This,
Snake-handling.
Dear Miss Begotten,
Do you ever run out of ideas for post topics?
- Bumfuddled
Dear Bum,
Never! Hence today's, er, post.
Miss is in the mood to define a few Words Gone Wild for Twisted Linguistics today.
realy - The obverse of fakey.
oppinion - To hold an agent hostage and pinion him down until he gives you his take on your synopsis.
mauscript - First draft of a Hawaiian novel.
nowing - Why the bird can't fly.
If you feel like guffawing over dry-rotted undies, go see Corn Dog.
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12 comments:
Dear Miss Begotten,
Is forgiveness divine, or folly?
- Guilty of Much
"Dear Miss Begotten,
What will you take up when you get tired of blogging?
- A Reader
Dear Read This,
Snake-handling."
That one is my favorite!! You go Serena!!
--snow
What? No "Hey M. Begotten! Claim your new Chevy Truck (tm) today! Just take our brief survey to see if you qualify!"
That's all I get, but addressed to L. Blue.
Mr. Guilty Charles, Miss will answer your question in the next Mailbox, probably next Fri. when I'm too lazy to write a post again. LOL.
Snakes tickle your funny bone, do they, Miss Snow? LOL.
I rarely see my spam, L. Blue, since the filters vanish it first. Of those that do slip through, I never get any cool truck offers. It's usually for drugs, like the latest one, "soft Cialis." Excuse me, but wouldn't soft Cialis rather defeat its purpose?:-)
LOL, thanks for the link up to my rotting panties story. I need some visitors.
You're welcome, Corn Dog. Your tale of the disintegrating drawers had me howling out loud. Mine have never turned to powder right on my behind, but I have pulled them out of the drawer and found evaporated elastic.:-)
Dear Miss Begotten,
Snake Handling?
.......(never mind)
Dear Miss Begotten,
"When will I find LOVE"?
Dear Miss Begotten,
"Who put the Bomp,
in the Bomp sha Bomp ba Domp"?
...."And while your answering that one...Who put the Ram in the Rama Lama Ding Dong"?
xomxxmsxxsxxsjxxmssjxoxo
Dear Mr. G, Miss will attempt to answer your questions same time, next week. It'll take at least that much research on the Bomp-Rama-Lama stuff.:)
Yes, as soon as I get the speaking in tongues thing down pat, then oh glory, I'm going to see about the snakes. That'll be different.:-)
xoxbdxoxglxox
I'm definitely misbegotten, I'm sure!
Somehow, I doubt that, Lee.:-)
Would you at least consider Pug Wrangling?
Miss will consider anything that's not illegal in most states.:-)
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