To Sleep, Perchance to Ferret Out Dreams

For quite a while, I was plagued with frequent insomnia. I'd wind down and attempt to go to sleep anywhere between midnight and 2:00 A.M. -- and I'd still be lying awake, tossing and turning, two or three hours later. Now I guess I'm making up for lost time, because I'm suddenly virtually sleep obsessed. For about the past week, I've been getting to bed before midnight and going right to sleep. I've been hating getting up in the morning, too, which isn't normally a problem. Around noon, I start thinking about the nap I'm going to take when I get home. Once home and properly napped, I wake up thinking I'd like to take another one. How nuts is that? The rest of the evening, I'm thinking about how comfortable my bed is and how much I'd like to be in it. This is totally crazy. I know it won't last long, and I know I'll be extremely well-rested when my normal routine returns.

We've been having lots of thunderstorms. I love them myself, but they're freaking my poor dog out. There was one yesterday afternoon that knocked my power out briefly. That kind, I'm not crazy about, but I do love the rain, wind, thunder, and lightning. Okay, the lightning not so much.

It's Friday -- TGIF -- which means it's the first day of my weekend. I always mean to get so much accomplished on the weekends. Most of the time, I don't get half of it done. I get easily sidetracked. If I mean to write, I could well end up reading instead. If I mean to clean out a closet, I might clean the windows instead. Bottom line, plans don't really mean a lot to me. Ultimately, I'm going to do whatever moves me at any given moment. It means that I often don't do what I meant to do, but I did do what I wanted to do. That works out pretty well for me.


Somebody's ferret took a wrong turn in his wanderlust two weeks ago and ended up in the washing machine. Luckily, it was a front-loading washer and he was rescued before the machine reached the spin cycle. The family also has a dog, which necessitates gating the ferret into one area of the house. The ferret's "mom" explained that the dog is bred to hunt vermin. "Are ferrets considered vermin?" she was asked. "I don't know," she answered, "but they look enough like them."

The rescued ferret was rushed to the veterinary hospital. When the husband suggested mouth-to-mouth en route, Ferret Mom said simply, "I'm not doing that."

The ferret made a full recovery and is back home. The vet noted that ferrets are very curious creatures and can get into just about anything. He recounted the story of another ferret who'd gotten his head too close to a vacuum cleaner hose and lived to "tell about it."

I've never wanted one, but that is one cute little critter. Hardy, too.

TWISTED LINGUISTICS


horrofying - An especially ominous, frightening horoscope.

a week heart - How long someone has to get a transplant.

deffintley - Really good, but finite.

Bob, to whom I was to marry - Youm should marry him anyway.

exclaimation - A condition in which one uses too many exclamation points.

thankul - An obscene gesture used, for example, to express your gratitude at getting cut off.

Mrs. Boudreaux had to lose weight ... she was toooo big, yeah. She went to see Doc Comeaux who put her on a strict regime. Doc said, "Miz Boudreaux, losing weight is not hard. Here is the diet -- eat what you want, as much as you want, anytime, for two days. Then, skip the whole third day. No food. Then, eat for two days. Then skip the whole third day. Keep that up for three weeks, then come see me. I expect you will lose at least five pounds."

Three weeks later, Mrs. Boudreaux went to see Doc Comeaux. The nurse weighed her, and she had lost THIRTY POUNDS! She was thrilled!

Doc said, "Mais, Miz Boudreaux, that is wonderful! Did you follow my instructions?"

Mrs. Boudreaux said, "Mais, yeah, Doc. But ahm tellin ya, I thought I was gonna drop dead on dat third day, me. Ai-yai, dat was tough, yeah."

Doc Comeaux said, "I assure you, Miz Boudreaux, nobody ever died from hunger in just one day."

Mrs. Boudreaux said, "Mais, no, Doc. Not from dat hunger, no! From dat skippin!"

Woman Pondering TGIF


















I have a new eyeliner. I'm thinking about getting together with Johnny Depp later to compare notes. We'll try to contain our excitement.

Your Power Element is Water

Your power colors: blue and aqua Your energy: deep Your season: winter Like the ocean, you evoke deep feelings and passion. You have an emotional, sensitive, and spiritual soul. A bit mysterious, you tend to be quiet when you are working out a problem. You need your alone time, so that you can think and dream.

What's Your Power Element?