Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Packing Pink Heat

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In addition to my purse, I also carry a tote bag to work with me each day. I also throw it in the car when I travel, which means it accumulates odds and ends from all over. As time passes, it gets heavier and heavier and eventually there comes a time when it must be cleaned out. This usually happens every three or four months. After looking for something deep in the bag's dark bowels last night and being unable to find it, I realized that it was once again time to put it into some semblance of order. Apparently, it hadn't been cleaned out since September because there were receipts and junk from Wilmington, NC, in there. Rattling around in the dark and scary nether world of the bag, I found:

  • Gobs of old receipts.
  • Several tubes of lipstick. I don't know why they were in there; I carry my lipstick in my purse (I thought).
  • 4 CDs (because I get bored with the radio while driving and at work) -- Chris Isaak, Meat Loaf, Blondie, and Pearl Jam.
  • Disgusting food items (because I often get hungry in traffic) -- 2 half packs of Nabs, 1 ancient looking candy bar, 2 fuzzy granola bars, a few wrapped peppermint candies, a roll of breath mints, and a fortune cookie, provenance unknown.
  • A paperback book (I can't remember whether I ever finished it).
  • An empty printer cartridge.
  • Two plastic forks and a plastic spoon.
  • Wads of Kleenex.
  • Not 1, not 2, but 3 hairbrushes and some scrunchies and other hair stuff.
  • A blank CD.
  • A book of 39-cent stamps I never used.
  • A short stack of mail I meant to read and never did.
  • 2 catalogues.
  • $4.52 in loose change.
  • 7 pens and 2 pencils.
  • 2 notepads.
  • A pad of sticky notes.
  • A pink Swiss Army knife.
  • And the dog's old collar.
Good God, it's a wonder I'm not sway-backed from hauling all that junk around. The tote bag feels much lighter now.

This is some of the booty from the bag of tricks, like my "tiara" headband, sparkly barrettes, black velvet scrunchie, the ponytail holder with pink beads, the pale pink nail polish I've been looking for, and my "royal" charm bracelet.


if I had of killed hm - All I can say is, "Hmmm."

guily - One who is full of wily guile.

narturally - One who is naturally gnarly.

strickly hardware - I think that in a roundabout sort of way, this person is admitting to striking someone with a piece of hardware.

Boudreaux: "It's terrible what dey doing in du South."
Thibodaux: "What's dat?"
Boudreaux; "Dey burning all of the Churches."
Thibodaux: "Dat's OK, I always like Popeye's better anyhow!!!"
Boudreaux and Thibodaux were driving on the highway, on their way to go bear hunting. They come upon this fork in the road, where there was a sign that said, "Bear Left". So they turned around and went home.
Boudreaux and Thibodaux were on a weekend hunt when they witnessed a UFO landing. As the little green creatures came out of the UFO craft, Boudreaux said " Mais whats dat?"

Thibodaux replied as he aimed his gun, "I dunno know me, but Boudreaux you better go back to the camp and put on some rice!"
Boudreaux and Thibodaux go ice fishing. They stop at a store on the side of the road and ask the cashier where they can go ice fishing. The cashier says there is a frozen lake across the road and I got bait and ice picks to break the ice to fish. An hour later Boudreaux goes to the store to buy some more ice picks. He tells the cashier, "I want all the ice picks you have."
The guy says, "Are you all catching a lot of fish?"
Boudreaux says, "Catching a lot of fish! We don't even got da boat launch yet."
Boudreaux walks into a bar, and says "Anybody got the number for 911? Thibodaux say, "What's the emergency?" Boudreaux says, "Is that your truck wit du Great Dane in it?" Thibodaux say, "Yeah, why?" "I got some bad news for you, podna. My dog killed your dog," Boudreaux says. Thibodaux say, "What kind of dog you got?" Boudreaux says, "A Chihuahua." Thibodaux say, "Explain to me how your dog can kill my Great Dane?" Boudreaux says, "He got stuck in his troat."
Boudreaux and his brand new wife went to a hotel for their wedding night.
He went to the front desk and asked for a room. He said it was their Honeymoon and they wanted a very nice room.

The clerk winked and asked, "Do you want the bridal?"

Boudreaux thought about it a while and then replied. "No, I guess not. I'll just hold onto her ears until she gets used to it."
After living in the swamps all their lives, Boudreaux decided it was time to visit the big city of Breaux Bridge. In one of the stores, Boudreaux picks up a mirror and looks in it. Not knowing what it was, he said "Mais, how bout dat! Dat's a picture of my daddy!" He bought the mirror, but on the way home he remembered his wife, Marie, didn't like his dad. So he hung the mirror in the shack behind the camp, and every morning before leaving for the woods, he would go and look at it. Marie began to get suspicious of this many trips to the shack. So, one day, after Boudreaux left, she searched the shack and found the mirror. As she looked into the glass, she fumed, "So dat's da ugly bitch he's been runnin' 'round wit!!!"

What's the one car you've ever owned that you wish you'd kept? Mine was a '66 Mustang, navy blue. I can't even remember now what I traded it for, but I sure do wish I'd held onto it. Oh, and just so you know, it wasn't new when I had it -- I was still a child in 1966. I may be old, but I ain't that old.

I'm in a pinkly girly kind of mood today.

Including my shoes.

I remembered to put on my watch this morning, and I'm wearing the heretofore missing charm bracelet, and I put on most of my rings but ... forgot the wedding ring. Do you suppose there's some subtly Freudian undertone to that? Hell, yeah!

I guess I'll have to take a photo tonight of the old laptop for Puggy the Laptop Aficionado. This is my computer at work. That's my sweet pup on the desktop.

Are you a freak

Are you a freak

According to our experts you are

25% Freaky

Find out if you are a freak at


Anonymous said...

I'm only 13% freaky! I am a freak, honest. They just didn't ask the right freaky questions and what's up with having to give your age? huh?
I like pink for women, especially the soft pink as shown in your pictures.
I've never worn pink..ok but under garments don't count, right?

Serena Joy said...

Whoa! I'm freakier than you, TC. Who'd a-thunk? LOL. Listen, I got no problem with men in pink. Whatever turns you on. Personally, I think guys in pink undies are just adorable.:)

Roxan said...

It said I was 38% freaky, but I don't think it asked the right questions. I know for a fact I'm much freakier.
We need to make up our own freak test.

Anonymous said...

Those short takes on Boudreaux made me chuckle. Are those the expensive shoes you bought and talked about last year. They do look pretty. Hope you are having fun at work.

tfg said...

Your tote bag is like my car. I found a pair of shoes from 2002 in it as well as a missing dirt devil. Instead of cleaning it out, though, I just sell them.

Serena Joy said...

Roxan, you're in charge of making up a new Freak test.

No, Steve, those aren't the ungodly expensive shoes. They're cheap, and actually more comfortable than the expensive ones. Go figure.

Well, you beat me, T. I've never misplaced a Dirt Devil. LOL. So, how'd your shoes get lost in the car?:)

pinkhippo said...

Your tote bag is like mine and the
Gobs of old receiptsSeveral tubes of lipstick sounds so familiar. At times I don't even remember that I own these colors. LOL

Love the shoes, so sweet!

Serena Joy said...

A girl's tote bag is just sacrosanct, Pinkhippo. What lurks in there is dear to our hearts -- and ain't nobody else's business. LOL. Hey, I didn't remember the lipstick colors I found in my bag, either. I grabbed that pink one and put it on right away. I sure am glad I found it. Thanks about the shoes. I love ballet flats, anyway, and when I saw those with the ribbons, I just had to have them.:)

NYD said...

Sorry to hear about bonnie and clyde. I have on occasion thought that my wife and I would make a pretty good pair of outlaws.

I really like your work space. It's you, totally!
A long time ago and I can't remember when, I did a post about my grandmothers bag that sounded a lot like this. Why do women carry so much stuff. When I go away for the weekend, Crispy packs a suitcase to bursting and I put a couple of extra socks in my back pocket.

Venus and Mars

Serena Joy said...

It really is Venus & Mars, NYD. I don't know why I haul around so much stuff. All I can say is I need it -- or MIGHT need it. Men could go off for a weekend with a pair of socks and an extra shirt. I have to have 2 suitcases. LOL.

Outlaws, huh? Better run that by Crispy. Jail probably allows only one suitcase.:)

Corn Dog said...

I was trying to take the freak exam but at the end that total freakout of a book "The Secret" popped up for some reason, scared me and I closed the browser. What was that thing doing there? I'll guess that I'm freaky in a percentage unbecoming to polite society.

Serena Joy said...

Oh, my God, CD, I guess that did freak you out. That damn "Secret" needs a good exorcist. We should take up a collection to pay for it. I'll bet if we took a magnifying glass to the inside cover, we'd find 666 embossed on it.

puerileuwaite said...

Ah, a Dell Monitor, most likely paired up with a Dimension series tower. Very reliable.

My theory on the totebag? When you go into stores, unbeknowst to the Serena that we know, a second and even more sinister "personality" takes over. And shoplifts. Using the totebag.

Corn Dog said...

Too funny. Satan wrote The Secret.

littlebirdblue said...

63% Freaky

I've got over-load bag syndrome, too: Dogbones, multiple pairs of perscription shades of varying tints, lipsticks, tons of pens and mechanical pencils, hair clippies, bottles of water, paperback book, bottles of aspirin, swiss army knife (with corkscrew and scissors), cell phone (which I never answer unless your name's in there), chewing gum, safety pins, bobby pins, bandaids, a tiny sketch pad, stamps, packets of earl grey tea...

Serena Joy said...

Yep, it's a Dimension, Puggy. So far, it's been extremely reliable. I'm not so sure about your theory. I mean, if Bad Serena was out shoplifting with the tote bag, wouldn't she lift something more valuable than scrunchies and drugstore cosmetics?:)

Who did write that stupid book, CD? Whoever it is, is probably Satan's little brother or sister. Now watch THAT one Google his/her name and throw a hissy fit. LOL.

Damn, Camille, what did you answer to get such a high freak factor? LOL. Your bag sounds a lot like mine, except my drugs, Band-Aids, shades, cell phone, dog stuff as necessary, etc., are in my purse -- which also weighs me down quite a bit. Gawd, we're all going to be bent over, hump-backed little old ladies from carrying all that weight.:)

Hale McKay said...

While it belonged to my dad and I drove it a few times, the car I wished I now had was a 1949 Packard Clipper.

It would not only be a double classic (50+ years old), but it be worth a small fortune as they are very rare.

Serena Joy said...

Oh, yeah, Mike, that would be worth some money. It's too bad your dad didn't garage it and hang on to it.