It's bigger than you,
And you are not me,
The lengths that I will go to,
The distance in your eyes,
Oh, no, I've said too much,
I set it up.
("Losing My Religion," R.E.M.)
I'm not losing my religion. I have no prescribed and approved religion to lose. What I seem to have lost lately is my -- what is the word I'm looking for? Empathy? Sensitivity? Objectivity? My intuition, God forbid?
I've always been blessed (or perhaps cursed, depending on your perspective) with the ability to see both sides of just about every story. That ability is suddenly fleeting and on the wane. My patience quotient is at an all-time low. If patience is a virtue, I am a fallen woman. I don't think I'm becoming set in my ways, or pig-headed. Apparently, I'm just off my feed; temporarily, I presume. I hope; otherwise, I would no longer be me. I'm not sure what this is. Simply a period of discontent? Seasonal affect? Hormones? A phase? Do people my age go through phases?
I used to have a pretty good idea why people did things. Anybody. Anything. It didn't matter that I vehemently disagreed with what they did. I understood on some fundamental, possibly atavistic, level why they did it. Now I find that my thinking is leaning rather dramatically toward, "Why would they do that? And once done, why would they do that?" Or, "What in the hell are they thinking? If they would say/do that, they're idiots or egomaniacs or clinging violets or ... dirt!" And then I'm liable to mutter something to the effect of, "Asshole!" "Moron!" "Flipping coward!" I'm asking myself more and more, "What did you do that for? Did you really do that? Are you insane?!"
It's an enigma. And a dilemma. I probably need to think about it and, in the process, work it out. I don't like thinking in linear black and white. I used to at least know why I did things. I could damn well justify it, too. Lately, I'm not so sure. Maybe I'm slipping over the border into the Dark Side. Maybe it won't be so bad there.
I got a card yesterday from an old friend, one who goes back to my "hippie days" and beyond. You open up the card and it plays "Age of Aquarius." I love it!
diety - A skinny, self-absorbed god or goddess.
competion - A secret move known in dog-show circles.
obssessive and comulsive - This is very sick.
Boudreaux and his wife Clotille lived on a little farm outside Mamou. One day Clotille said, "Mais, Boudreaux, you have to get rid of dat dog. All he does is lie under de front porch and turn over da trashcans." Boudreaux said, "Okay, cher. I'll get rid of him."
He put him in the pickup, drove down the road a couple of miles and dumped him out. He drove home and in a few minutes the dog showed up. So he put him back in the truck, drove several more miles and dumped him out. After getting back home, the dog showed up again.
Clotille said, "You have to take him out and drive around and around a lot in circles, den dump him out. Dat way he won't know da way home."
Boudreaux said, "You some smart, Clotille, and dat's why I marry you."
Boudreaux took the dog, drove all around and zigzagged a lot, then dumped the dog out. He started back home, but pulled over and parked and called Clotille on his cell phone. "Has dat dog come back yet?"
Clotille answered "Yes, he jus come in."
Boudreaux say, "Well, put him up to dat phone - I'm lost."
|You Are 85% Creative|
You are an incredibly creative person. For you, there are no bounds or limits to your creativity.
Your next creation could be something very great... Or at least very cool!