Dear Santa...

Twisted Linguistics are coming so hot and heavy right now that we might as well use them while they're hot.







witchita
writiers
thuimop
she riped him off
pathitic
indedels
very none threatening
sudebnly
baairable
yo weez gots a badassmutha-threw this one in just because.
oportuntities
suden detah
decsion
puiblished
respone

Dear Santa,

Hello! My name is Bud and I live in Witchita. I would like for you to bring me a ticket to the upcoming Suden Detah Writiers Play-offs convention in DeDels. I am very pathitic, having sudebnly lost my job and, consequently, the oportuntities to pay the fare myself. This has been barely baairable for me since the indedels I worked for made the decsion to move their company to Respone. Long story short, the boss's wife, she riped him off. She said to him as she was cleaning out the house of valuables, "Yo weez gots a badassmutha-threw this one in just because." I don't know what that means. Neither did he. She sounded so very none threatening when they first got married last month, and now this. The company is gone. Well. That's their story. My story is that I've taken a suden detah into poverty. I really, really want to attend that conference so I can learn how to become a puiblished author. If I don't get to go, it will wound me all the way down to my thuimop. If you will just leave me the ticket, Santa, I will love you forever. And I will leave you some badassmutha big cookies and milk that's guaranteed no more than one day past expiration date.

Love,
Bud the Writiers