Saturday, December 23, 2006

Dead Lines and Fun With Reindeer



What a great day for my phones to go dead, huh? You could call me fit to be tied. Naturally, there's no repairman available until Tuesday -- "between 8:00 and 6:00." Oh, Happy Happy, Merry Merry. Thank God for cell phones.

This would seem an appropriate time for a few jokes. And no, most of them are not for the easily offended.

Why doesn't Santa have any children?
Because he only comes once a year and, when he does, it's down a chimney.

How are a Christmas tree and a priest alike?
They both have ornamental balls.

Two blondes went into the Deep Woods looking for a Christmas tree. After hours of freezing temperatures and some too-close calls with wolves and bears, one blonde turned to the other and said, "I'm chopping down the next tree I see and I don't care whether it's decorated or not!"



What do the female reindeer do when Santa takes the male reindeer out on Christmas Eve?
They go into town and blow a few bucks.

What's the difference between snowmen and snowladies?
Snowballs.

Why did the snowman have a smile on his face?
Because the snowblower was coming down the block.

If a reindeer lost his tail, where would it go for a new one?
A retail shop.

Why don't reindeer like penguins?
They can't get the wrappers off.

Why do reindeer scratch themselves?
Because they're the only ones who know where they itch.

On the Twisted Linguistics docket today, we found these characters.

If money where of no object - But money IS an object, so this appears to be rather nonsensical.

Awnsers - Answers which are truly inspirational.

For your own piece of mind - I don't know. Before buying, I'd want to know how big the piece was and how much it cost.

The Higgest Calling - Apparently, someone named Higgest is on line 1.

I have herd from - The provenance of the farmer's newly acquired livestock.

typos that didn't get catched - No! Really?

So, how stressed out did you get this year?


Your Holiday Stress Level is Moderate

The holidays sometimes stress you out, but mostly because they wear you down.
Take it easy! You can have a fun holiday without running yourself ragged.

7 comments:

RexZeitgiest said...

Your Holiday Stress Level is Moderate

The holidays sometimes stress you out, but mostly because they wear you down.
Take it easy! You can have a fun holiday without running yourself ragged.



Sounds frightful SJ...I am glad my sister had the foresight to marry a guy who works for the phone company.....

Serena Joy said...

Yep, Rex, there's something to be said for moderation. It's good that neither of us is over-stressed.

Dang, I wish a had a relative who works for the phone company. I don't know what's wrong, but it's a huge pain -- and grossly inconvenient.

Hale McKay said...

My son-in-law works for Comcast and works on cable, the internet and the phone. He's bailed us out on all three at one time or another.

Serena Joy said...

You lucked out, Mike. There's nary a techie among my relatives and in-laws. I guess all I can do is grit my teeth, buck up, and bear it 'til Tuesday.

se7en said...

LOL, those were hilarious, the blondes one made me laugh out loud.

Have a wonderful christmas!

=)

Steve G said...

At least you have electricity and the internet. Send an instant message (grin) Have a fine Christmas Eve.

Serena Joy said...

Merry Christmas, Se7en!

You're right, Steve -- I have electricity and the Net; the phone is small potatoes. Have a beautiful Christmas Eve!