First, we have the Chicken Chucker, guaranteed to provide seconds, maybe even minutes, of fun to the supremely, nay, terminally bored.
It's a 5-3/4" gun, much akin to a water pistol, but it shoots pullets at those fowling up your day. What could be more fun than catapulting rubber poultry at unwary hooligans? It comes with a supply of little rubber chickens, ready for loading.
$4.99 at amazon.com.
I forgot to check whether there's an optional speed-loader available.
You can also get yourself a classy keychain with a rubber chicken dangling off the chain. With this in your possession, after you've already bought the Chicken Chucker, you'll be able to keep it in your pocket and be reminded during all those boring office meetings of the barnyard antics waiting for you at home.
Only $2.99, again from amazon.com.
If you want to go high-dollar, you can buy the Crazy Cluck Wacky Chicken. Feed it 4 AA batteries and turn it on, and it will amuse you endlessly by dancing the "Chicken Dance." He clucks, sings, dances, chokes a little, and this plush critter (no feathers, no problems for the chicken-allergic) is virtually indestructible, no matter what you do to him. He exists to amuse you and your wish is his command. He's a lot of Poultry Power packed into a little over 14" high.
You can get your very own from amazon.com, $14.99.
I'm not quite sure what's up with Amazon's indulgence of chicken fetishes. You might need a drink before you start tossing fowl. I'm just saying. You know what I'm wondering, of course -- what other strange desires might Amazon be unknowingly catering to?
What will you get for The 12 Days of Christmas?
|For the twelve days of Christmas, your true love will send you:|
Twelve babies drumming
Eleven christmas trees a-twinkling
Ten ice skaters a-leaping
Nine ladies knitting
Eight alpacas a-milking
Seven hot chocolates a-steaming
Six iPods a-playing
Five Golden Girls
Four calling booty calls
Three French tourists
Two diamond pinky rings
And a fairy in a olive tree
Before we all get out our chick-shooters, let's first have a small perverted English lesson. After all, Roxan went to the trouble of spotting them and ... a day without Twisted Linguistics is pretty much wasted.
Now that we have all completed our synopsises, methoid it is time to relax. Therefore, we're all going to get fired up with alcxhohol, which sometiuems makes us go ho-ho and other times just makes us feel all pyamdia, and book a cruise to -- the Baborahma!