Friday, December 15, 2006

Clucking All The Way

In my eternal quest for the oddball and the absurd, I (quite accidentally) happened across these nifty items today. Now that I've seen them, I don't know how much longer I can live without them.

First, we have the Chicken Chucker, guaranteed to provide seconds, maybe even minutes, of fun to the supremely, nay, terminally bored.




It's a 5-3/4" gun, much akin to a water pistol, but it shoots pullets at those fowling up your day. What could be more fun than catapulting rubber poultry at unwary hooligans? It comes with a supply of little rubber chickens, ready for loading.

$4.99 at amazon.com.

I forgot to check whether there's an optional speed-loader available.

You can also get yourself a classy keychain with a rubber chicken dangling off the chain. With this in your possession, after you've already bought the Chicken Chucker, you'll be able to keep it in your pocket and be reminded during all those boring office meetings of the barnyard antics waiting for you at home.




Only $2.99, again from amazon.com.

If you want to go high-dollar, you can buy the Crazy Cluck Wacky Chicken. Feed it 4 AA batteries and turn it on, and it will amuse you endlessly by dancing the "Chicken Dance." He clucks, sings, dances, chokes a little, and this plush critter (no feathers, no problems for the chicken-allergic) is virtually indestructible, no matter what you do to him. He exists to amuse you and your wish is his command. He's a lot of Poultry Power packed into a little over 14" high.




You can get your very own from amazon.com, $14.99.

I'm not quite sure what's up with Amazon's indulgence of chicken fetishes. You might need a drink before you start tossing fowl. I'm just saying. You know what I'm wondering, of course -- what other strange desires might Amazon be unknowingly catering to?

What will you get for The 12 Days of Christmas?

For the twelve days of Christmas, your true love will send you:

Twelve babies drumming
Eleven christmas trees a-twinkling
Ten ice skaters a-leaping
Nine ladies knitting
Eight alpacas a-milking
Seven hot chocolates a-steaming
Six iPods a-playing
Five Golden Girls
Four calling booty calls
Three French tourists
Two diamond pinky rings
And a fairy in a olive tree



Before we all get out our chick-shooters, let's first have a small perverted English lesson. After all, Roxan went to the trouble of spotting them and ... a day without Twisted Linguistics is pretty much wasted.

synopsises
alcxhohol
sometiuems
pyamdia
Baborahma
methoid

Now that we have all completed our synopsises, methoid it is time to relax. Therefore, we're all going to get fired up with alcxhohol, which sometiuems makes us go ho-ho and other times just makes us feel all pyamdia, and book a cruise to -- the Baborahma!



12 comments:

Kanrei said...

What will you get for The 12 Days of Christmas?

A bill.


If there is anything in life more funny than a rubber chicken I haven't seen it.

Serena Joy said...

So, may I assume that you'll be whipping out your credit card here shortly and ordering some of your very own Fun With Poultry? Get the Chucker -- we can have a duel. LOL!

Kanrei said...

I am thinking about it. I had a game in mind to buy from Amazon, but I hate buying only one thing there. NOw I have a second.

Serena Joy said...

You know you want it. Ergo, you must have it. I think that I will regret it for the rest of my life if I don't get a Chucker.

Speaking of games, the spammers have been busy today. I've lost count of the number of offers to sell me Viagra I've gotten. Duh. Like I'm not already having a hard enough time. Nyuk-nyuk-nyuk.

Kanrei said...

THat was bad. That was like one of my puns bad. Do not let me rub off on you.

Serena Joy said...

Some days I just AM bad. I can't control it.:)

Southern Writer said...

Ha! I got two Jesus action figures (no doubt Ken dolls in their previous incarnations).

Serena Joy said...

Only 2, Lesia?! You're supposed to get 12. Looks like this quiz is a cheapskate.:)

RexZeitgiest said...

For the twelve days of Christmas, your true love will send you:

Twelve glam rockers drumming
Eleven christmas trees a-twinkling
Ten elves a-leaping
Nine ladies yodeling
Eight alpacas a-milking
Seven hot chocolates a-steaming
Six drunks a-drinking
Five golden bowls of chicken noodle soup
Four calling telemarketers
Three French tourists
Two diamond pinky rings
And a fairy in a olive tree


Um, I don't think I want a 'fairy in a olive tree', how about a 'nympho in a nightie'?

Serena Joy said...

Sorry, I can't help you out there, Rex. The only nymphos I know, I'm not on speaking terms with. I suspect they'd look pretty scary in nighties, too.

Hey, I read at the PWZ about the storm you got hit with. Is the power back on or are you still out using public access?

RexZeitgiest said...

I was back at the library SJ.......1/2 of my town has power......but as you saw at the PWZ, I am one of the lucky ones and they were able to restore power.....the power loss at my condo ocmplex was because of a tree downing the transformer, while most of the rest of Western Washignton is dark from a failed power grid......Which is going to take much longer to fix....

Thanks for checking on me!

Last night at about 2am it was really frightening....I have been through huge storms before, but this one was malicious in its intent....The sky was inky black and tendrils swirled around in the sky trying to make tornados....It rained 2.3 inches of rain between 10pm and 1 pm, then the worst of the winds came.....it went from pouring down rain to totally crystal clear and 100 mph winds.....I thought my windows were going to implode, so I put up extra blankets to block the glass if it went.........at 1;30 am, the trees started to snap on the golf course....I could hear CRACK, CRACK, CRACCKCKKKKKKK......And the wind last about 5 hours straight....

Serena Joy said...

Holy moly! Sounds like a really freaky storm. I'm glad you're okay and that your home wasn't damaged.