Friday, November 13, 2009

Blinded By The (lack of) (En)Light(enment)

This discourse on the social life of squirrels is originally from November 13, 2006. I told you I'd explain the squirrel thing. This is it.




(“Blinded By The Light,” Bruce Springsteen)

With this very unpleasin,
Sneezin and wheezin,
The calliope crashed to the ground,
The calliope crashed to the ground,
But she was...
Blinded by the light.



One gets out of bed in the morning, knowing not what to expect but ever hopeful. Some days, betting on hopeful pays off. Other days – well, not so much. (I went to bed at a decent hour last night, betting on a good night's sleep = erasing funk = decent day. I win!) Days, like life, are like piñatas – you take your chances, pick up a big stick, and whack the hell out of it. You’ll either get bombarded with a stream of goodies or doused in … crap. That seems fair. It can’t all be good and it can’t all be bad. Lucky people get a good mix. Everything is lopsided from time to time, which is why we have our good days and our bad. Today is not listing too much to either side for me; it’s pretty well on an even keel.

* I had a call this morning from someone wanting papers out of a file we closed three years ago. I told him what the retrieval fees would be – and how long it would take (since somebody’s going to have to put on jeans and go searching for the file). He said to just forget about it, he’d get it from the court. I told him that was fine, but the court’s fees are three times what ours are and will take about a month, and hung up. Good riddance. *Yes, this kind of thing is happens just as much in 2010 as it did in 2006; only the location of the desk has changed.

* I read the most repulsive mess of disgusting trash. I am ceaselessly amazed at what some people consider “enlightening” – and even more so at the toadies who sit around and applaud it. Clearly, some people have “caliber-deficiency” issues.

* Weighing in on the plus side, the boss won't be around much today and I'm not killing myself with deadlines. What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.

* So far, albeit I realize the day's only half over, it's all going my way. This ain't half bad.


Did y’all know there’s such a thing as the Squirrel Defamation League? Thank you so much, Roxan, for luring Mike into what I’m sure will be a charter membership. And may I say – neener-neener-neener. I’m arming my squirrels (and yanking Pepsi out of reach of the mice). Pssst -- Yo, Rox! My urban squirrels are bigger and badder than your wuss League squirrels. Shoot, I’ll bet yours have little handbags that match their little pumps. (I’m running now so I can get a head start on Roxan. She’s fast.)

And now I’m going to tie you down and force-feed you today’s Twisted Linguistics.

The raw material:

I sumitted
jusy
I have books to sale
I agree with you whole heartily
what it bowls down to
who's work

The usage:

I sumitted my credit card order and now I have books to sale. I agree with you whole heartily that what it bowls down to is who’s work is the meatiest. That’s jusy stuff!

26 comments:

Roxan said...

Like you know anything about Kansas squirrels. LOL

I may live in the city, but we have more than our share of the little critters. We also have several deer crossings in this area. The occasional rutting male finds its way on the busy roads at times. Sometimes they make it, sometimes they don't.

Serena Joy said...

Hmph. I think my squirrel can take yours. He is one big boy. I feed him Twinkies and stuff but he's more muscle than fat. Shoot, the one-eared neighborhood tomcat is scared of him. I'm putting him in his little trunks and sweat band - bring on your puny varmint. LOL.

Would you care to send me the GPS coordinates of that crossing where rutting males bite the dust?:)

Southern Writer said...

Did you know Blinded by the Light was written by Springsteen?

I'm curious what the repulsive pile of crap was you read that someone else thought was enlightening. Did I write it? I hope you say no.

Actually ... I kind of like whole heartily. It's like a little play with words.

Serena Joy said...

I knew that Springsteen had also done "Blinded by the Light," but wasn't sure which one actually wrote it. I'd better change that, to give credit where credit is due.

Good God, NO, you didn't write the crap pile! Trust me, it came from a whole 'nother galaxy with a weird gravitational pull where weird stuff orbits other weird stuff.

Roxan said...

Yeah, well my squirrels have raccoon goons to do all their dirty work. So there. LOL

You have a Richard Simmons Squirrel?

Serena Joy said...

Mine have possum bodyguards. You ever seen the teeth on a possum? I rest my case. A Richard Simmons squirrel, indeed. Hmph! His name is Rock, as in The. LOL.

RexZeitgiest said...

I think I need to change my middle name to Rex 'Twisted linguisitics' Zeitgeist........

Serena Joy said...

I don't know, Rex. That's pretty hard to say. LOL.

Got any squirrels? We'll have the Other World Squirrel Wrasslin' Federation when we get enough contenders. :)

RexZeitgiest said...

I used to be a squirrel wrestler in college.....Division 12 champ!

Serena Joy said...

Excellent! You should be able to train your squirrel pretty fast so he'll be ready for this competition. Of course, my squirrel's still going to whomp his butt. LOL.

Roxan said...

The Rock? What's he going to do kill my squirrel with his bad acting?
My squirrel says bring it on. Put your money where your mouth is. He's got a itchy rash and squirrel fleas, so even if your squirrel beats mine to a pulp-mine still wins.

Steve G said...

A fifty-fifty day and lots of fighting squirrels. Now that's what I call a good time.

Serena Joy said...

Ah, but Roxan, can your ratty rodent act? Try to get rid of his mange before the main event. Rock's craving squirrel jam, and he doesn't want to pick up fleas/mange from it.

So, Steve, you gonna put one of your red squirrels in this fight? LOL.

Roxan said...

We already know yours CAN'T act. My mangy dead squirrel is long gone, so you will have to pick a fight with some other rodent.

Southern Writer said...

SJ, did you try my Beta fix?

Serena Joy said...

Roxan, are you talking about that unfortunate incident with the cat? There are more squirrels where he came from, you know. Unless, of course, they're all skeered of little ol' Rock.:)

Serena Joy said...

Lesia, do you mean the "new profile" fix? No, I haven't done that; it's sort of a last resort. I'll work some more this afternoon on resolving it, hopefully w/some actual help from the Blogger people.

Roxan said...

No, I killed the squirrel because I knew one day someone would come along with a squirrel fixation and try to force me to play along when I don't want to play squirrel.LOL

Serena Joy said...

Yeah, yeah -- knock my fixations to sideline the fact that your scrawny squirrel ain't got what it takes. :)

P.S. -- Have you heard any reports about sightings of our missing minds? LOL.

RexZeitgiest said...

I keep my squirrel in my freezer....When I am blue, I pull it out and wrestle with it...

Roxan said...

Kill, Kill all squirrels. Start with the Richard Simmons one that is going to die of a massive coronary from the Twinkies it keeps getting fed.
Frozen squirrel on a stick. LOL

Serena Joy said...

That must be that thing Roxan's talking about, Rex -- squirrelsicle. LOL.

And thank you very much, Roxan. Now my pansy squirrel's laid up in his nest bawling his little beady eyes out. He can read, you know. He saw what you said and it hurt his little furry feelings. :)

Roxan said...

Poor widdle squirrel.

Serena Joy said...

Are you saying that like you mean it? He can tell, you know. Better get your fuzzy little runt into the gym early in the morning. When Rocco gets over his pouting, he'll be ready to get it on. Maybe you could piss your squirrel off a little bit. That seems to motivate them. :)

Roxan said...

Since I can't dissuade you in your desire to force poor little furry animals to fight. Shame, shame on you. I'm bringing in my female squirrel who is in heat. Hands down, I win. LOL

Serena Joy said...

Well, you can't argue with raging hormones, even when they're more bark than bite. All you can do is get a skanky PR girl. LOL. It's moot, anyway. There will be no fuzz fights. Rocco is MIA. I don't think he ran away from home. I think Don King nabbed him.