Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Moon-Driven


There's a hard moon coming. I'm telling you -- no, I'm warning you. This weekend's full moon is going to be one bad futhermucker. I've already been feeling its rays of doom for a couple of days now. Who will save me? Dumb question. Who always saves me? I do! I do!

Anybody owe you an apology? Think you'll ever get it? If you do, bump it up to next week. Nobody's going to apologize to anybody under this weird moon force-field. In fact, they're probably going to do worse stuff to you than ever. Every now and then, I'll sort of half-assed expect to see one -- an apology, not a moon -- in my inbox. It's owed, bet your ass. I've quit looking for it, though. It'll never happen, not in this lifetime. Some lifetime or another. Not this one.

There were these two little old ladies... Stop snickering, I'm serious. And I'm not talking about myself, either. We've had two little old ladies in the office this week to sign their wills. They're both 92 years old. One was in Monday. She looked under 70 and was sharp as a tack. She drives a 1993 Buick with 16,000 miles on the odometer. The second was in yesterday, guided by her 70-year-old son. She hemmed and hawed and had to have everything read to her multiple times. Finally, after about forty-five minutes, she deigned to actually sign the darn thing. Then, we asked her to initial something. She asks what that means, and we tell her she just needs to write her initials, right there on the little line. She looks up and says, "My initials? Okay, but what are they?" Yarrrr.

Item, Funny: This twit posted a piece knocking the advice dispensed by unqualified personnel on some Web site or another. Apparently, the Emperor in his New Clothes lacked the good sense to see what everyone else saw; to-wit, he was actually describing ... his own site. Duh.

Item, Not Funny: In fact, it's so not funny it needs a black border around it. Alas, I can't find any way to do that on Blogger. 21 U.S. troops have been killed in Iraq so far this month. It's only the 4th.

We have a massive haul of Words Gone Wild today. You know, I've finally figured out what these people are doing. They're interviewing for Blogger's Word Verification writer positions. Flqxuptu!

exersize - How big the ex's clothes were that you threw out.

greef - Sequel to "Grease," opening soon off-Broadway.

precipitouse - The opposite of a chanteuse; i.e., a really bad singer.

myster - My mister.

adresses - Better quality garments than B-dresses.

horible look cam over his face - Yeah, that's what happens with cheap Web cams.

hayk - A wrecked kayak.

anoucment - An "Ouch!" moment, right when the boo-boo first happens.

Reality will stain your mind! - Damn straight!

edit it, ect, ect. - Ick, Ick, from the bottom of the slush pile.

We are drawn to do certain things with out lives - I'm curious as to what things you can do dead. I guess I'll find out someday.

dont worry about the typos! pleas! - Hear my plea, please -- I AM worried about them.

the little beat of the little lamb - We've called the animal abuse hotline on this one.

12 comments:

RexZeitgiest said...

ahahahahaha, nice....

One time when I was a real estae agent I sold a home for a elderly couple....Now 'Meredith' was 91 and had worked for the local real estate office for 30 years, she had also worked at a title compnay for many years....her entire career was in real estate support...

Well it came time to close and I got a call on my cell phone, it was Meredith and she was PISSED......Seems old meredith that had worked for 50 years in a real estate setting didn't know there were closing cost involved in a home sale.....I thought she was going to come after me and beat me with a broom...

After that, anyone over 90 got the extra special treatment when it came to closing the sale....

Serena Joy said...

LMAO! Wonder how many times ol' Meredith won Employee of the Month? She never showed up to beat you up, I hope.:)

RexZeitgiest said...

NO, once the house deal went through, I never saw here again...Her and her husband moved into a rest home and I moved on to the next client.......

I sold their house for 93k, now its worth at least 250k.....One of many many homes I wish I would have bought...

Serena Joy said...

Property values are through the roof. Houses bought for peanuts years ago are selling for small fortunes. Too bad you missed out on that one -- it would have been a great investment.

Anonymous said...

I am prepared for the full moon. I got everything a werelemming needs.

Serena Joy said...

And what DOES a werelemming need? Crash course, please -- I'll need to know these things.:)

Ooooo, zfdjirny! I know what that means -- everybody gets zfd and takes a trip.

Anonymous said...

A parachute.
A big box of Hot Tamales
A lesson in spelling
Three cigarettes
Five matches
A crow bar (to aid in getting more cigarettes)
One box of sour dough pretzels
One box of plain pretzels
One pint Ben and Jerry's Chubby Hubby
A working computer.

Vihxuvd is where bad vikings go.

RexZeitgiest said...

anoucment - An "Ouch!" moment, right when the boo-boo first happens.


I hate it when that happens..

Serena Joy said...

As long as I have the cigarettes, Ben & Jerry's, and a parachute, I'm good to go. Cool! Um, you don't have to fall off cliffs while in werelemming mode, do you? Wouldn't that mean I'd get to push OTHER lemmings off cliffs?:)

Serena Joy said...

I hate that, too, Rex. And I had a couple today, too -- burned index finger from the hot brush, sliced thumb on a file folder, stubbed toe chasing dog. Could have been worse, though; I didn't fall off any cliffs.:)

Anonymous said...

Of course werelemmings push, but we need a parachute incase the victim grabs us.

ycusomu- I think it is an Eskimo insult. Pronounced "Yuk-OOO-SOME-You"

Serena Joy said...

Heh. Saved by the "Y" instead of an "F."

Man, I hate it when victims grab you. Makes me want a really big parachute. That's not considered wimpy by the "in" werelemmings, is it?