Twisted Linguistics

Coming down off a full moon and drying off after a hard rain, today seems to me like a fine time to stamp out some blasphemy blasfomy. I'll provide the Words Gone Wild. Shoot, I'll even have a stab at interrogating them. But -- I'd like to see what you can do to them.



ambidextrious - This refers to an industrious kind of guy who's been pounding the pavement for hours in search of an Ambien because he's been awake on diet pills since dawn and is desperate for a little sleep.



moral terpitude - The only kind of morality imaginable to a certain breed of corporate twerps who lie for a living.



premediated murder - When neither pissed off party could agree to any settlement terms and they turned on the arbitrator.



erronous - Poetry written and dispatched by a lovesick swain which was neither erotic nor poetry. It was a mistake to hang the messenger, but there you have it.



authenicate - Real fornication.



arristed for indecient exposure - What sometimes happens to the bored and privileged children of the idle rich who didn't think they needed no education.



juristiction - The place where nasty old judges go to do dirty, icky stuff.