Thursday, August 04, 2011

Mind My Manners

I'm going to have to be mindful of proper etiquette today, because I have a feeling I'm going to get reamed by The Senile One. Long story short, he went to court yesterday with documents I had prepared (and labeled) for him. And explained to him beforehand. He calls from court having a virtual coronary because he's claiming I used the wrong income on the formulaic documents. Um, I used exactly what the client furnished. Senile One says no, no, we need to know his "net" income. I tell him that the documents call for "gross" income; it's printed right there at the top, in bold black print -- Gross Income.

He was still so upset that he got the hearing continued and told me we had to schedule a meeting with him, me, the client, and The Other (sane) Lawyer. I don't know what he expects to accomplish; like I told him, the income is what it is. The bottom line is (like always), he had no clue what the papers meant or what he was doing, so he pulled his stock in trade trick out of the hat -- continuance.

I'm going to need the forebearance to refrain from telling him the truth; i.e., he's senile.

Lord, what we do to get the money to pay the bills.

You Have Good Manners 83% of the Time

You manners are perfect. You always carry yourself with class.

You know how to be considerate toward everyone - even if they aren't considerate to you.


G-Man said...

I'm so sorry that you must go through this crap Sherry.
BTW....You are ALWAYS the Lady, and your manners are perfect!

Marion said...

Here are 2 suggestions for us poor folks:

1. Play the Lotto
2. Publisher's Clearing House

I wish you a big win on both. I still recall the HORRORS of working for asshole attorneys. Sending hugs! xoxo

Serena said...

Well, I got myself into it, GM. I'll get myself out of it. Some day. And hopefully with the good manners not to tell anyone where they can shove their senility.:)

I try #1 from time to time, Marion. Hell, I haven't even bought a $2.00 winning ticket. I need a Lotto tutor. Maybe I'd do better at #2, and I don't think that even costs anything, does it? I definitely need to do SOMEthing.:)

puerileuwaite said...

As my own attorney often says, I'm no "legal" expert; however that shall not stop me from citing the following precedents from the landmark Reality v. Batshitcrazylawyer case.

So here goes ...

It is perfectly acceptable to use "Net" income for the following occupations or individuals:

1) Fisherman
2) Joe Friday
3) Jack Webb when he played Joe Friday
3) Anyone who wears fishnet stockings on the job (examples: strippers, bar maids, escorts frequented by Yours Truly, paralegals, et. al.)
4) Sandra Bullock in the tax year when she starred in "The Net"
5) New Jersey NBA team members
6) Marv Albert during his "kinky" phase
7) Al Gore (since he invented the 'net)
8) Butterfly Trappers
9) Cafeteria Lunch Ladies

Otherwise use "Gross" income (especially for the following occupations or individuals):

1) Porn Fluffer
2) Bodyguard for Britney Spears
3) Hairstylist for Donald Trump
4) Security Guard at Adult Book Store
5) Port-a-Potty Repair Tech
6) Proctologist
7) Liposuctionist
8) Resident Midget at Nudist Colony
9) Janitor at Chili Cook-Off

You may want to post this in a prominent office location for future reference.

Serena said...

Thank you for the net v. gross primer, Pugsley. I AM going to print and post it in my office. I have to ask, though -- what exactly is a porn fluffer? The Senile One will be VERY interested in that, since parts other than his brain still seem to be working.:)